Natural Born Lovers

What is natural in an unnatural world?

Natural Born Lovers

As promised, my words shall continue to bleed into coherencey.

I last discussed the premise of a women's natural born sexuality/sensuality that is deemed to be closest to her innate biology and psychology, while formulating an idea as to what that would look like.

I am in a relationship that follows a male polyamory and female serial monogamy guideline (Check out my last article, "I do, I do, and I do too" to stay up to date with some of my references). I have grown to see its purposes, which in this article, I will detail now. The flaws, on the other hand, I have decided will be for the following article so that you, my readers, will seriously take the time to criticize and analyze these ideas for this particular stand point, without involving the potential bias of the opposing view.

My first argument in favor for this type of relationship is more of a personal preference in terms of how it fits into my particular lifestyle and life choices. I have, however, heard this argument used as to why biologically, for all women, this love paradigm best suits the female.

I do not use birth control of any sorts with an individual that I am in a serious long term relationship with. I am a natural raw mama that detests plastic rubbing its chemical lubricant inside my source of creation. I do not invite the gestation of daily foreign hormones. I do not prefer spermicide, a sponge, an IUD, etc... you get the drift. I prefer a natural experience to be naturally occurring, with taking the chance of a naturally occurring outcome.

Now, if I were to seriously be in love with someone else, outside of my existing relationship, and decided to become intimately involved with, safely assume that I will be adamant about not using any contraceptives, (other than the moon cycle and other natural techniques of detecting ovulation), which would mean that I will be having sex with multiple men with a potentially high chance of becoming pregnant by either, given any miscalculations. I will point out as well that at the time of conceiving my first and only child, my mate and I made a conscious decision to impregnate me. I had been using my natural methods for more than a year before that point.

Again, all a personal choice. I explain all of this to say, simply, that I am not comfortable with the idea that if becoming pregnant while sleeping with multiple men at the same time, that I would not be positive who the father is for the entirety of the pregnancy, which is why this paradigm is favorable, for me, personally.

The second argument that is less personal and that I believe, better applies to the public than to the first argument, which I will explain why I believe that is in my next article regarding the flaws in this paradigm, is that women working together is extremely productive and lends to the creation of amazing results in terms of our emotional, physical, financial and overall well being.

It is my belief, due to observation, that many women, unfortunately, allow jealousy to negatively interfere in our ability to co-create with other women, particularly in reference to a typical serial monogamous relationship for both parties.

I have heard women lash out on their partners simply because he fixated for a brief moment on an attractive woman, and/or specific attractive physical attribute(s). I see this and realize just how unrealistic it is to expect or demand another human being to not even acknowledge their own sexuality through their attraction for another, to then expect that that partner's, and their own, sense of self, sexuality, and sensuality should be intact somehow.

Do not get me wrong, jealousy is meant to be felt and certainly has its purposes. However, when this emotion interferes with what I believe is to our detriment as females and as partners in intimate relationships, I believe we must shift the way in which not only we view other women, but how we view ourselves, whether we are in a relationship or not.

If women were to co-create in multiples with a single male partner in which they were all emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually etc... involved with, along with everyone being devoted to a particular goal, the time in which it would take for two individuals to complete that goal will take less than half the time and energy, with other females in the mix, living and creating together under one household. Within the relationship and within our personal lives, we will be able to achieve greater, while working less.

I believe it is prudent that women begin to live together as a community, supporting, loving, and caring for each other, and I have personally experienced that this love paradigm of male polyamory and female serial monogamy is just ONE way of doing so.

Honestly, I thought that I had at least a third argument lending to the practicality of this love paradigm, but I do not.

I am thoroughly excited to begin elaborating on the flaws on my next post, which will be a bit more lengthy than this (partly too why I am separating these articles).

Until that time arrives, continue being beautiful.

Read next: The State
Asherah Way

I am a New York city residing woman creatively expressing personal experiences in relationships, motherhood, health, sex, society and more.

I welcome you all to my public confessional. 

Gifts, my friends, are also welcome.

See all posts by Asherah Way