My 2022 Resolution

I think we all can agree that 2021 has been a year of ups and downs. It certainly has been for me. It started out with a bang as the world was still trying to come back from the previous year. Then suddenly, I had another blow, when my mother passed. Granted, we never had your traditional mother/daughter relationship, but her loss still hit me hard. I was reminded that eventually death come to us all. I felt as though I was now at the top of the list. As I turned thirty-five, I felt old. I know realistically, that’s not really that old. I was falling into a dark place that I knew that I had to come out of.

At one point I finally decided to see my doctor about how I was feeling. Somehow along the way, I went from an optimistic person who still would find myself bursting into sudden giggles, to being constantly tired, moody, even angry. My first thought was that I had fallen into a deep depression. People around me would say that I was becoming lazy. My friends told me that I needed to just put on some makeup and a sexy outfit and get out. When told that I needed to look in the mirror and tell myself that I was beautiful, I responded by saying that I couldn’t even look in the mirror.

Once I went to the doctor, it was discovered that I had a thyroid issue that was causing me to feel the way I did, as well as the weight gain that I had went through. As afraid as I was going to the doctor, it felt good knowing what was going on. Of course, that wasn’t the last issue I had to go through. One day, about a week before Christmas, I suffered a severe asthma attack that ended up putting me in the hospital for about four days. For the first time in forever, I was forced to take time out of my daily routine. I had to rest and put myself first. It was hard for me to take a step back, but in the long run, I needed it. It also gave me time to reflect on my life.

As 2022 begins, my biggest new year’s resolution is to take better care of me. The first step in doing that is by realizing that I deserve to be happy and successful. That is something that I’m still working on. I will take little steps to remind myself who I am. That can be something as simple as putting on lip gloss or looking in the mirror and being grateful that I inherited my dad’s brown eyes. I have started trying to work out more and keeping journals in order to exercise both my body and mind. Just taking a minute to meditate and reflect is a great way to keep myself sharp and calm. I will not feel guilty for doing something nice for myself. I am a strong and independent woman with big dreams that will some day come true.

I still feel the best is yet to come. Perhaps this year will see me there, or at least a step closer. I’ve come a long way, and I am going to go even further. I am going to keep striving to find my happy place because I deserve it. Last year brought a lot of personal growth and self-discovery for me, and I’m still moving forward. I believe 2022 is going to be a good year as I continue to dream. Cheers to the future.