Mother Nature

Naomi marched up the steep gravel driveway in a fit of rage and exhaustion. She needed to clear her head, the voices had become overwhelming. All she had wanted was a little getaway in the Haliburton highlands, and yet the chaos that seemed to consume her life was inescapable. She paused at the top of the driveway, looking left then right, as she tried to steady her breathing. Both directions had luscious trees overhanging the road, which was really more like two ruts with grass growing in between. She chose left for no particular reason and forged on.

The voices began to subside with every minute, with every footstep. She was aware of the direct correlation between the distance from the little cottage and her sanity. As she trekked on, her ceiling of foliage opened up briefly as sunshine enveloped her. Beads of sweat appeared on her forehead, quickly brushed away by the swipe of a sleeve. She took a big sip of water from her canteen, having known it would come in handy. Even in her state of disarray, she was prepared. Always prepared. Always responsible.

Naomi had covered quite a bit of ground and slowed her pace from ‘outraged’ to merely ‘irritated’. She noticed a chipmunk perched on a petrified stump beside the roadway. He caught her off guard and woke her from her reverie. She peered at the little guy and wondered if anything kept him up at night. What kind of pressure was he under? She chuckled at the notion and then stretched her weary back as she took a long look around. It was only June, but the sun was hot, the breeze was cool and the forest was enchanting. The roadway had become even less apparent, disguised by encroaching bushes and rocks that seemed unaware of the easement.

Naomi had to admit that a bit of exercise had improved her mood considerably. Blood pumping, muscles tensing, joints crunching – but only slightly. It was a welcomed change from the norm, like meeting a new friend on a gloomy day. She realized that now the roadway really had come to an end, and so with a newfound sense of adventure she decided to carry on into the wild. She pushed past bushes and ducked under branches and persisted even when the terrain became quite steep and rugged.

Step after step she explored this mysterious land and began to appreciate its sense of tranquility, imagining it as a kingdom ruled by fairies and gnomes. She was lost in thought when a branch slipped from her outstretched hand and slapped her in the face – Wap! She jumped back offended that her new friend would betray her so. She touched the back of her hand to her cheek to find a smear of blood. The insolence! Didn’t these woods know that she came here for solitude? For peace? She supposed that her surroundings were exquisite yet untamed, perhaps the basis of their appeal. She continued on more cautiously, now having a sense of uncertainty about her sense of adventure.

She meandered through the trees as she tried to empty her mind, but the voices still seemed to be there, whispering demands from afar. For a moment she felt as if her obligations had a grip on her, sure to strangle her if left unchecked. She took three deep breaths, rolled her shoulders back and continued on, up and up.

Over the past several years a sense of fatigue seemed to have weakened her. At first, it happened slowly, almost unnoticed. But now it had become a gnawing ache that couldn’t be ignored. And so she had rented the cottage attempting to break free from the anxiety of everyday life, vacate reality and maybe even connect with nature. But that hadn’t happened. All of her usual struggles seemed to follow her here and bring a few friends along, the only real difference being the stage it was playing out on.

She climbed higher and higher feeling exasperation return to her belly. She pushed any obstacles out of the way that dared cross her path. Things needed to change if she were to survive, of that she was certain. The every-day consumed her to the point where it didn’t occur to her to look ahead. Like her current trek, the direction of her life had become undefined, leaving her disoriented. Perhaps all that was needed was a course change- a slight shift towards a more manageable tomorrow.

Those voices, calling, wanting, needing, they would have to be handled somehow. Let’s face it, professional help may be required. It would take time and patience on her part, but she was confident that they could be subdued. Yes, there may a solution to her current predicament, other than fleeing to the woods. She felt a tiny spark inside her just then, a flicker of hope, a twinkle of optimism that she hadn’t realized she was desperately missing.

Naomi was sweating profusely from her strenuous climb, and yet she had never felt stronger. She picked up her pace as she defeated the bushes and triumphed over branches. She felt unstoppable. Suddenly she had the energy of a toddler and the focus of a sensei.

Ready to conquer the world she took the final steps up the ridge where it flattened out into a moss-covered summit. Naomi was breathing heavily as she gazed out across the lake. Tiny cottages down below were surrounded by the rustic beauty of the forest. The treetops danced in the breeze, celebrating her victory. The summer winds sent ripples over the silver lake, cheering her on. She hadn’t even known where she was going and yet she had arrived.

She stood proud atop that ridge having accomplished something just for herself, and knew that one little word was all she needed to maintain her sanity, “No”; so simple, yet so empowering.

She sat down smoothing her hands over the damp earth and admired the stunning view and her remarkable revelation. The sun warmed her face and fresh air filled her lungs. It felt good to really breathe. She smiled as it dawned on her that this little escape provided everything that she had been longing for. And after a nice long break, she would return to the voices. They may be loud and unyielding at times, but they also belonged to the loves of her life. The contradiction is baffling, but she knew that nature understood, for she is a mother too, after all.