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'Men Think About Business and Women Think About Men'

A Short Manifesto

By Cristina RoxanaPublished 5 years ago 4 min read
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Trokon George, (2018), Melody Mikél by Trokon George [1242x1218] [ONLINE].

This is the kind of information I have known all of my life, even though it was hidden somewhere in a little drawer inside my brain, but it was only when I heard it from Corinne Fisher's mouth that I absorbed it truly.

'Men think about business and women think about men.'

As you are reading this line, do not jump so fast to conclusions, I will elaborate on why I strongly agree with this point of view. In order to do so, I need to bring you a bit back to the Garden of Eden, so you can get a bit of background sense. I was brought up in a family, which although had both parents married, could have as well been considered monoparental, as my mother worked hard in every aspect of her life such as her daughter's well being, her husband's well being, her job, her house, her knowledge, her image, everything except her happiness and self-respect. Meanwhile, my father partied hard, lived intensively his youth years away from the family scene and grew older and older into this arrogant, self-absorbed, vicious big baby. Therefore in the end, although I am a single child, my mother had two children- myself and my father. As I grew up in a country where women's rights and importance in society has only recently started to be seen as a normal reality, in the 90s it was considered 'normal' that the woman will take care of almost every aspect of the family life and the man will make his presence known whenever he sees fit.

Keeping this in mind, I made a simple recollection of all of my experiences with men and could not diminish my frustration regarding how incredibly much time I have spent thinking about men. Thinking about how they feel about me, about how they see my body, about how I need to be attractive to them, about how I need to smile more because they like that, about being afraid of being attacked by one of them on the street at night, about how I don't want to come out as cold and bitchy, about how poor them don't know how to react sometimes, therefore I need to understand them, about how maybe I truly exaggerated that night after I drank some wine and spoke my mind, about how one day they might leave and never come back and about the fact that I don't want to be the one leaving, hurting his feelings and being seen as the villain.

There is even this social myth saying that men cannot multitask the same way women can and what is the conclusion?! Let's put more on the women's plate, make it extra hard to fit in, and then judge them for being fragile. I don't want to say that all women are altruistic and emphatic and how lucky we are to have these amazing beings all around us, no, no way, but a judgement upon a woman is much harder than upon a man. Because women until some tens of years ago were used to be in the backstage and always think about how to please their family which was led most times by men, about how to make a good wife for her husband and a good mother for her children and still being seen as a decent and flawless woman in whichever society she lived in. All of these factors plus some maternal biological ones have created a sort of toxic habit in us women and have been genetically imprinted over the generations it seems. Of course, it is human to want to help, love and cherish the ones around us as we see fit, the issue is when such a majority of women still sees this nurturing as putting the men in their life above them. Society has many aspects which influence and encourage women to put themselves on the second or third place even though they are educated, ambitious and maybe do not even know they are doing that. Religion is one of them and yes, I am not religious, but do not advocate for lack of belief, I just do not understand how can anyone live by the unrealistic standards created by any god, especially one who in many religions is all mighty, but still allows so many horrific things to happen every day.

I am not encouraging toxic attitudes and patterns, just a crack in a learnt behaviour. Let's enjoy our womanhood and boast in it with confidence in our nature and a bold eye upon the world. I kept the word 'business' in the title, because a good connection is based on partnership and equality, just as in an ideal business deal.

The text above is of course not true in every case and for sure this is a piece of writing meant just for some ears and it's supposed to be just that. I love men and this is not some sort of conspiracy against them, as I am writing this I cannot unsee my over self-explanatory and stereotypical feminine apologetic sense even between these lines. Well, we have to embrace our built-in 'skills' and make the best out of them!

Maybe this piece of writing will just be something you do not agree with, but maybe it will be a manifesto of your self-love and self-respect and a tiny tiny hint that you are a beautiful woman and no matter your body, sexual preferences, race, level of education or age, you can relate to it and better yourself.

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About the Creator

Cristina Roxana

I am an urban designer and artist from Romania, currently based in the Netherlands. I write because it makes me feel free and light, just like art does.

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