M.F.T (My Femininity Transfer)

Modern or traditional woman? Seems to be the topic of discussion when deciding whether or not a lady is worthy of marriage, and/or if she’ll be successful in it. However, there are many factors that can aid in a woman’s defeminization prior to.

Masculine and feminine energy have nothing do with gender, we all have both energies within us. Typically, men tend to have more masculine energy and less of feminine energy and women, usually have more feminine energy than masculine. Although this can be totally reversed as well.

As a retired accountant and currently preparing taxes, my grandfather was the only example I had of a real man. So although the strength in my mother as a single parent helped shape the person I am today, the lack of a male figure hindered my understanding of my role alongside the right man later in life. Branching off from a mother who was the provider as far as the two are concerned, the friendly competition I hold with myself in order to achieve (financially) was also held with men. This is where I went wrong and it slowly aided in the degression of my femininity.

Aside from the work ethic I witnessed my grandfather have, that summed it up. From the many dozen of roses to chocolates and jewelry, it never helped me solidify my grandparent’s roles to each other and how they fulfill it — in detail. After many years together and 34 years of marriage, I gladly take their advice.

Dating back to 1986, a video “The Vanishing Family; Crisis in Black America” released by CBS presented a group of African-American women insisting that they did not need a man to help raise their children and had no intent to marry the father of their children. Independence at its finest, and ignorance is bliss. This idea of independence is fraudulent and pushes the wrong (but true) narrative.

I believe, a woman cannot take on the role of a man no matter the situation. It is ironic that I notice many mature “independent” women single and alone, on the market still looking for Mr. Right. This leaves me to believe that some of their independence has dominated and has caused friction with the/a man. I am victim number one, as I took notice of this and now focus on being interdependent. And to think, it does not sound ethical to be independent all a whilst in a relationship.

Independent; showing a desire for freedom.

Interdependence; the state of being dependent upon one another: mutual dependence.

Unfortunately, we all have trauma and lack in some area or another when it comes to dating. In spite of the fact that I’m learning and healing from things that were not in my control, I’ve grown to know the difference, take accountability, and ultimately change it.

After many years and a few failed relationships, I now understand my role as the woman in a man’s life — the right man. Embodying and providing peace, nourish/nurture your king. I’m in no competition with MY man, I do not need the last word. Learning to be quiet was my issue, the unnecessary need to go back and forth. Once upon a time, it was a knee-jerk reaction to express my feelings with no filter. Whether right or wrong, there are better ways to go about handling our differences.

Walking in my femininity and being my best woman for myself is great for everyone around me, especially my significant other. In order to live & embrace this “lead and I shall follow” lifestyle, we must have the right partner, or at least I must. Our partner must have our best interest at heart — the love is pure.

Femininity

Femininity

-MMJ

Quote of the Auracle: “She unleashed her inner goddess and became the woman her soul knew she could be.” — Michelle Schafer

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