Love is Part |||

THE OPEN MIND ✨

I am a creator and a hustler to fuel my business to reach a level of wealth I never thought was attainable until I acquired this travel business opportunity. I live, eat and breathe travel. I am constantly creating with the deepest passion.

I am impactful because I have no desire to stop. Nothing stops me. I get discouraged on certain days, but I dust off the negative energy, pick my head up and REMEMBER THAT I AM THE ABUNDANCE. You won't fear money issues or financial hardship when you realize that YOU are the abundance. Not the opportunities, not the hourly wages, but YOU are the abundance. So I remember who I am and what I can accomplish within myself, and that enables me to think positive and think BIGGER. I am big on manifestations and how I speak to myself. I speak my wildest dreams into existence as if they are happening now.

BALANCE. I have to learn how to balance my abundance. I know it seems cliche but it's real. When the Universe GRANTS you everything you've been manifesting, you need to be able to NOT mishandle it.

I want to be a go-getter, but I also want to make sure I am still a good mommy, a good lover, a great friend, sister, daughter, etc. It is not an easy task. But when you view time as an illusion, you will release a little pressure.

Sometimes, if I am nose & hands down in my business for 14hrs, and I promised a home-cooked meal for my family, rather than complaining, I will cook a good a meal for my sons (with love) at 11pm. If my siblings miss me but I have been too busy, I pick my least busy day, block out my calendar, and go check in with them. BALANCE is so important. I am learning to not complain. But to PUSH THROUGH.

Frida is BOLD and OUTSPOKEN. I relate to her. I channel her. She lived so unapologetically and that was not an easy task during her era. Frida was loud about what she desired. She manifested her husband and was inspired by his art, which later influenced her career as a painter. Although some would say her marriage was a tumultous one, I love how she was confident in who she was and what worked for her and her marriage - despite everyone else's opinions. Frida was what we would call today "unbothered" and was the epitome of "IDGAF." I would‘ve loved to be remember that way - An unbothered creator & artist who lived BOLDY & UNAPOLOGETICALLY. I am FRIDA KAHLO.

I am learning to forgive my parents. I humanized them. I understood that they are flawed. My mother did the best she could to gain access to me. My father was abused and thus abused his children. I INNERstand. I forgave so that I can release my pent up anger, fear, and fear of people.

I was missing my mother on a daily basis, while being abused by my father. I learned to create fantasies in order to survive. Those fantasies became manifestations as I grew up. It allowed me to learn to take FULL CONTROL over my life and to never be in a position to make anyone else responsible for my happiness BUT ME. It also created a massive level of independence within me which is why I am such a self starter with a plethora of talents and gifts. God knew what I was going to endure. So he blessed me with a creative mind and so many talents to occupy me until I was in full control of my life. Now, I make a living off my talents and creativity. Remember, no one was wrong - everything happened as aligned.

I want to be remembered as a girl who had the sad story but didn't live the sad life. Molestation, Abuse, and Neglect could have been my narrative but I am not a victim, I am a survivor. I AM THE CREATOR OF MY STORY NOW. I CONTROL THE NARRATIVE NOW. I want to be remembered as the girl who had all the lemons life could give her BUT MADE LEMONADE WITH THEM. A go-getter who lived every day like it was her last because she knew all too well that we are on borrowed time. A girl who persevered. In spite of all the hurt and hardship she endured, her being was still filled with purity & love rather than bitterness. No one was wrong, everything happened as it was aligned.

Love. I learned that LOVE begins with SELF-LOVE. When you learn to love YOURSELF properly, you will learn to trust your own decision making when it comes to love. You learn that not everyone needs to be loved by you. You don't owe anyone a connection. You can love without being too close to people who mean you no good. When you learn self-love, it's easier to weed out the people who have ill-intentions. I have mastered the art of NOT being manipulated.

I have tuned in to my intuitive side, and let it speak for me - even when it hurts. Love doesn't hurt. Love isn't confusing. Love isn't complicated. But you have to start with LOVING YOU before you can fine-tune your discernment.

The Sigma 🌅

Who am I when no one is watching ? Let’s just say you can catch me with no makeup, hair in a bun and overthinking everything when I’m in my own energy and solitude. Perks of being a Virgo. When I look in the mirror I see a gracefully aging woman, that has a young spirit .

I want more people, especially my people , to know who Dorothy Dandridge was. I relate to her because we both have faced adversity in our careers. She was a singer/actress/model. We have both been rejected and discriminated against because of our color, dress size, age, and moral integrity. I had to push through alot of rejection in the beginning of my modeling career all while being a single parent. Through it all I’ve learned to never stop!! To keep putting in the work because it will pay off.

Love . I’ve learned that it’s conditional, and you must nurture it. I'm more cautious who I give my love to. And I must love myself first to be able to love others .

I believe I will be remembered for my my charisma, poise, wittiness, and femininity . My resourcefulness, loyalty nurturing & loving nature is truly what makes me impactful .

The Diamond in the Dirt 💎

I am still and quiet. I’ll float away to the sounds of Lofi music. I take my time to move around. I sip on my coffee until it’s too cold & I need to warm it up. I make my food with the music blaring and socks on so I can slide around. Ill take a bubble bath and still act like Santa with a bubble beard. I’ll take 30 mins reading a chapter because I always want to re-read the page 3 times. I like to talk to my dog and watch her tail wag, I’ll jump on my trampoline when I’m feeling blue, and swing around my yoga swing when I’m feeling stiff. I’ll make me some popcorn just to rewatch the same old movies I seen with my dad. I kinda just do whatever my heart feels called to. When no one is around … I am free.

I’ve become a woman of solitude, standing strong on my own, wiping my tears while giving a smirk. Telling myself, “I got this” in every situation.

Every time my reflection shows, for me the mirror is just my shell, and it’s beautiful yes, but it’s the part that everyone else will quickly admire. In my eyes, I’m so proud that I don’t see just the reflection. I am someone who looks past that to understand the heart and mind I have grown.

I am inspired by Marilyn Monroe because she showed me how to capitalize on my beauty instead of being ashamed of it. Showed me the power of a confident woman. Our entire story line matches up.

From the mother being insane,

To the father being gone.

From the foster home,

To door to door with a back pack at a friends house.

Her drive and her power inspires me. You feel her energy through any photo of hers. Down to her stubborn ways and independent and sophisticated nature. She’s the only icon I could truly embody fully with authenticity.

Most women who come from a background like mine or even Marilyns, (foster care, no motherhood, raising yourself, finding ways to survive at a young age on your own) normally would become the same as those who came before them. Like mother like daughter. But very few beat the odds and decide to be the healing one in the family. To finally give up everything you once knew based on survival and to re-learn how to live out a life of adventure. I try to show my people that you can beat the odds, as long as you have faith to make it through the obstacles . To use your imagination to create your vision as you show up to do the work, you will become anything you want to be.

As a young child, I endured a lot of struggles between losing my family, foster homes, drug addicts raising me, door to door homes, rape, abandonment & neglect. Never really understood what living actually meant, just survival. Now I must let go of my survival instincts so I can learn how to finally live.

Losing my father has been the hardest thing to deal with . He’s the only person who’s ever shown me unconditional love.

My mother? I’m still learning to forgive her. I am realizing none of us has an instruction manual, and I can’t put the blame on her anymore for who I am. She gave me all she had, now it’s on me to see what I can become from it. Her job was done when she created me, and gave me the possibility to live a life with a beating heart. For that, I must let go of all the sorrow I held on to for so long and the confusion as to why she couldn’t love me. She also helped me understand everything happens for a reason. Her not being there was the biggest challenge for me as a woman, but it made me exactly who I am.

Overall, you are the puppet master of your life. You are the only one pulling the strings.You decide who gets a ticket to the show & you make the rules. This is your masterpiece. Change your thoughts, change your actions, change your life. Your reality is all on you.

Love. I have learned that you attract what you need to get to the next version of yourself. I know that I’m here to love and be loved. Sometimes I feel like I know nothing about love. How to give it and certainly not how to accept it. But I’m slowly learning that love just is. You just do it, it’s not forced, its not begged for, it’s not expensive & it’s not something to keep out of the picture of any relationship.

You’re just supposed to love. Even when you feel pain.

The Relentless Harmonizer 🪄

I am my true, authentic, nurturing, majestic self at all times whether I’m being watched or not. There are so many versions of me & I cherish them all. One that does come out more is my naughty side. Naughty Majesty has been my erotic alter ego for years now & I only share her with myself & my spiritual lovers. No one earthbound is worthy of her greatness. I am a humble go getter. I rise to the occasion & make sure I always put my best foot forward. My prince’s watch me in my every element & I always hear “Mama I’m so proud of you!” It never gets old & always makes me cry. I’m tearing up writing this. My community & the world has yet to see me in full bloom but my imprint will be massively authentic & every man, woman & child will be able to benefit.

I feel deep inspiration from Aretha Franklin because her music is the prologue to my book. I remember waking up Saturday AM’s to the sounds of her voice, the smell of pinesol & breakfast in the air. I knew it was time to rise & get my day started. She was my Saturday AM alarm clock. I always knew my mothers mood by what album was turning. Yes we are talking records, vinyl.

I would say I relate to Aretha now due to the fact there was a time when she felt she had no one. Alcohol & food were her choice of addiction & I too had a substance abuse issue. I wouldn’t say I was an addict because I could stop cold turkey at any time. But when I was loaded I was loaded. Her struggles with missing her mother reminds me of missing my fiancés. I know it’s not the same feeling but I have experienced the presences of my lovers and at first it’s heavy but it’s something we must go through to channel greatness. Aretha knew what she wanted & went after it. That’s our similarity. The picture recreation can be interpreted in so many different ways. ‘Bitch Please, I am a Queen, You really think I care? You have no idea what I am capable of’. With that being said you never know what’s coming so stay on your toes around me!

People will remember me for being unapologetically, relentlessly me. I don’t follow fads, I don’t follow crowds, I am & will always be me. That’s why I am who I am. Everything in my life has helped mold me in a way my 21 year old self would never think I would be. I’ve gone from, can’t no man tell me shit to,I need a sponsor, to hustle bunny, to mistress to other woman ( two totally different things) to sapiosexual to mother to fiancé to nurturer to business owner to death bed to rebirth to student to conqueror to warrior to Goddess & still evolving. So people will remember me by many different things. Just depends on what chapter of my book you were in.

There has been several traumatic experiences but the worst would have to be my miscarriage. I had a wham bam moment before the pandemic & found out I was pregnant & at the same time going through a miscarriage. With Covid on the rise, I wasn’t going to the hospital & the hospital didn’t call me to come in & get checked out after my check up. So I did my whole miscarriage naturally by myself. The father, still to this day , doesn’t know he got me pregnant. I lost so much blood! Pulled out my own placenta that was still in me after a month of the fetus coming out. All I had were my prince’s & they were so strong & there for their Queen. I fought fainting & passing out from losing so much blood because I was not leaving their side. And remember we just got on lockdown so I wasn’t going to no damn hospital. Crystal healing energy is real, meditation is real, getting into nature is real & it all helped me survive. I passed a blood clot that I never even imagined would be humanly possible. I could go on with this phase of my life but just know this was the death bed version & the beginning of the rebirth. My sons & I have been through so much together & I wouldn’t change one second of it. It has made us all stronger every single day.

I have buried two fiancés & a possible 3rd. I was so numb to death that I couldn’t even bring myself to go to the possibles funeral. If I spoke on all of the struggles that I have encountered we would be here for a long while. My major struggles were losing all three of them. The challenge that I go through now to get to where I want to be is people. I am rare & I am so proud of the rarity I have grown & developed into. Knowing when it’s time for me to let go of people has been a major challenge & sometimes I feel I give the boot too soon. But honestly, no I don’t because if it’s meant for them to be around they’ll be back.

I had to heal by forgiving myself & all others followed. I’ve been in this healing process for a while even when I didn’t know I was healing. I began doing shadow work on myself & baby them tears jerked. Constantly feeling sporadic emotions & stopping & asking myself why are you angry right now? Why do you feel the need to talk about that person right now? Why do you have this urge to scream horrifically? As the emotions came the more I asked myself why? I still do this today. It’s not as much as I did in the beginning but don’t ever let them tell you not to answer yourself. You are the only person that knows the answers. You just have to not be afraid of what anyone thinks about you. You have to do it for YOU!

Love. What have I learned about Love? It conquers all! Is there even anything else that needs to be said? Knowing that love is the universal language has made me so much wiser & stronger. I was such a BITCH but only because I did not know my capabilities. Agave is so much better then vinegar. Love has taken me on some major roller coasters of what I thought love was. You attract what you think about yourself. If you get a partner & you start picking out all their flaws, stop & dig deeper because they are a reflection of you. So study & understand their purpose in your life. What do you need to fix with yourself to be the best version of you? Love Is. 💛🪄

The Passionate Lover ♥️

I am a goof. Sometimes a little unhinged. I am loud. I laugh the hardest and the loudest. When I am alone is when I am the most vulnerable, I am my softest self. I have this ability to keep going. Keep smiling. Stay positive. The ability to change, grow, and elevate. To not let the past control me or the present negativities to dictate the future. My ability to live life and lead in love. I do everything in love. To love yourself truly is to love the next as well. To lead in love gives me the ability to heal with love. To be compassionate. To feel deeply. That’s what I want to leave . Strong love.

The biggest adversity that I had to get past is my myself. My mind. I wasn’t taught my worth or value. So I never thought I was worth, deserving, or capable of the bare minimum. So getting out of my own way and knowing that I AM worth more. I AM valuable. I AM deserving. That everything I want I deserve!! That was a hard struggle because in my mind, that was not the case growing up.

Life started with memories of trauma. My first few memories are traumatic. So it wasn’t the traumatic ones that forced me to grow or change. It was my beautiful blessings that I call my daughters. Having my first daughter, a switch was flipped but it was still dim. I had my second daughter, and my oldest at that time was 3 or 4. I was in the bathroom doing my hair and I looked down and realized she was intensely watching me and imitating what I was doing. At that exact moment, I realized I couldn’t stay stagnant. I had to become the best version of myself. I had to heal. I wasn’t only letting myself down, I was letting them down.

I asked myself “who do I need to forgive ?”. This is a list that could get long. I would say the most impactful would be my mother, father, and stepdad. A lot of trauma came from them. I had to realize that they are experiencing this human experience same as me and that they were only doing what they knew how to do at that moment in their life. I had to realize that they themselves had unhealed traumas that they may have not known or know how to heal. I also learned once I forgave that boundaries had to be put in place so that I did not inhibit their traumas anymore on my journey.

When the opportunity came to embody a significant & impactful woman, Lena Horne leapt out at me. She was just like boom here I am! So when I researched her a little more, the first thing that came up was a quote from her that read, “You have to be taught to be second class; you're not born that way.”

That hit home. I was taught that no matter how pure my heart was, no matter the good I did or what I did to stay on a good track, I would always get knocked back on my ass. It just happened to our family. It was apart of who I was. And I’m learning that, it was only because of that mind-frame that I was taught that this was true. Another quote from her says, “I'm not alone, I'm free. I no longer have to be a credit, I don't have to be a symbol to anybody; I don't have to be a first to anybody.” This relates to the exact place I am in within my life. I’m free. I no longer put myself second to anyone. I no longer deplete my energy to boost another person. I love being able to help or elevate another, but not at the cost of myself. Even the smallest appreciation and gratitude will do.

I will always be remembered for my kindness. I feel deeply. So when I’m pulled to someone, whether we are close or not, I’m reaching out. To help, send energy, make sure one is ok, send love, offer an ear or shoulder. I genuinely care for others well being; mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Even if I do not verbally reach out, I am praying and manifesting for one’s well being.

Love. Love is meant to be shared but not given away. When you give something away, it’s no longer yours. Giving your love away, is giving away your power. You are giving away a huge fundamental part of yourself. But if you share it, you allow someone into your life and share your love with them, you are giving people a chance to experience a powerful love. Your fire. Your passion. Your love is beautiful. And it’s meant to be shared. Love should never make you feel like are being held hostage. Love should free you.

The Gracious Game Changer 🏆

I am the teacher and the student. I go into every connection and every experience wondering what the lesson is and how to grow. These days you can catch me napping more and writing my woes away. I prefer staying in rather than going out because I’ve never been the party type anyhow . I’ve made it to 25 and I have yet to enjoy the club/party scene or socializing in large groups. A little socially awkward now. I prefer being a homebody and intimate one on one sessions with others. I’m overly protective of my peace and my loved ones. Willing to go to war for mine and will be the last one to wave the white flag. I am innately calm and a bit shy although, to the outside world, I am seen as a wild woman and the life of the party. A woman who cannot be tamed. Lion heart, black panther strength, courage of a cheetah , swiftness of a tiger. A total feline. I am sensitive and I cry often. A lot actually . I’ll spend my time deep cleaning my home or smoking to reach higher levels of consciousness or simply to drift off into another dimension from time to time. Either way it’s always done intentionally. I bust out twerking or doing yoga randomly. My body always feels the need to generate movement . Life of a true dancer and body worker. I am most comfortable walking around barefoot . I don’t wear bras or underwear. I prefer being nude over wearing clothes. I like taking long walks on the beach in South Carolina and I love food more than people. The older I get , the less I need. The wiser I get, the less I speak. The more I spend time learning to love and take care of myself, the less time I spend on seeking validation from the people around me. This version of myself, keeps me in a state of awe. So simplistic, yet so otherworldly. Ever changing . Forever evolving. Always in the midst of redefining myself.

Taking care of the people is what I do best. My father always told me that being a Queen isn’t about being the most beautiful or powerful. A true queen cares for the people and honors the empire. I have to embody the essence of a Queen because it’s gods plan for me to do so. To lead by example and show others the way by leading the way. By guiding others to see their own paths and journeys as marvelous expeditions and to walk proudly into their own divinity. I am who I am because gods way is the perfect way and who am I to go against her master plan? I am exactly who I came here to be. I am impactful within my family dynamics because I don’t shy away from the truth. I’ve worked hard on myself to show my people that we do not have to live in lack. That generational curses are real. That abundance, prosperity, luxury and healing are our birthright and ours for the taking! That if we move with purpose and follow our truths, we uplift our lineage. We guarantee peace for our children and their children and their childrens children. I fight so hard to get my family to see how powerful we are as a unit. I fight for peace. I now know that I had to first see how powerful I am as an individual before guiding the people towards realizing that they are mighty as well.

I am a beacon of light in my community. I’m not quite sure why others trust me so easily with their truths. It’s been that way since I was a young one. I create a level of safety for others to be themselves and honor who they were, who they are, and who they are becoming. I do the same for myself. That’s peace. To show compassion and acceptance of the darker parts of someone else is truly an experience I’ll never take for granted. Life is all about bringing all aspects of ourselves to come together as one. Understanding polarities and how to integrate them. I show others that there is beauty in what may seem to be madness. There is light on the other side of confusion, betrayal, heartache, doubt and deceit. That whatever light radiating in you , radiates within me. I am a catalyst in helping others open and awaken their eyes to truly see who they are and who they are meant to be.

I suppose I’m a dreamer. A small town girl who was born in Kansas City , raised in $in City Las Vegas and found her soul out in the ghetto parts of Atlanta. I just have this spark that lights up any room. A spark too big for the cities I’ve called home. What I have within me to share is bigger than my hometown. My voice & message, my heart, my gifts and talents are designed to leave an impact on the world. I’ve always told my loved ones that are close to me that when I die it’ll be a big deal. The world always grieves and remembers what it feels like to lose a Queen and gain an Angel. I just pray I’m remembered for my courage, strength and my smile. For my hugs and my tenderness. I pray they remember my passion. That I cry passionately and when angered I lash out with the exact same energetic devotion. I just pray they remember that I gave my all, even when I felt I had nothing left. I pray my mother remembers that I want to be tossed in the ocean and not buried in the soil. I was born under water. It’s only righteous that I depart on the wave of an Ocean.

I remember watching The Josephine Baker movie when I was a child in elementary school. I did a research paper on her due to my fascination with Adolf Hitler and the Nazi’s . She was an informant and secret spy for the resistance during the time. Fighting for peace and equality during a time where it was absolutely absurd for a woman to have a say in politics or anything of value in general . Let alone a black woman ! Now that I’m older I wonder if I am simply Josephine reincarnated. She grew up during an era where being herself was simply unacceptable. Everything about Josephine was unorthodox, strange and unusual. Going back and forth between New York, Paris and St.Louis Missouri . Trying to make and maintain a name for herself while everyone around her was filled with doubt and disbelief . To be black, naked , and talented were 3 crimes people would love and despise her for. She was not afraid of pushing the envelope. Brave and courageous. Stylish and outlandish. Loving kids and animals more than the men that tried to claim her heart. She was a grand game changer of her time. It is because of her efforts, and her ability to be unapologetically herself during a time where all odds were stacked against her, that I am able to be who I am. Freely and proudly. She is me and I am she.

When I look in the mirror I’m almost shocked at what I see . The growth and expansion brings me to tears. The hard work and dedication to self-development . My commitment to the elevation of my soul is unmatched. I just finally feel as if I’ve arrived at the most peaceful and serene phase of my life thus far. I have crafted such tranquility within my home, friendships and family dynamics. The feeling was unfamiliar at first because there was a time where all I knew was conflict, chaos and dysfunction of all kinds. I deserve this woman I am becoming . I have been at war for so long and I’m exhausted. Choosing to no longer be in combat mode if peace isn’t the end goal. Harmony is what I strive for. I am living now. Authentically and freely. More honestly and openly. My eyes are brighter and the burdens from carrying so much baggage is much lighter. Learning to be more of a lover and less of a fighter. When I look in the mirror and see my reflection I think ‘Wow , I’ve earned this version of myself.”

Adversity is always behind and in front of every level up we experience in life. With grand blessings comes great adversity. With great pain comes gargantuan healing to balance it out. We get so caught up in the end results that we neglect the beauty of the learning process that builds up our ability to handle whatever life throws at us and the people sent on our paths to help us get through. I am no longer fearful of the unknown, unseen or unobtainable. As long as I stay true to my purpose , I will always overcome my obstacles . They will never define me. I am the Empress. Adversity will always be conquered .

The most humbling experience of my life has been learning how to love from a place of non-attachment. Learning how to love truly . I’ve been slowly, but surely discovering who I am through my lovers. Which is why I write about love. Why I cry over love. Why I do everything with the intention on cultivating and sharing more of it . Why it makes me toss and turn at night and wakes me up with the sun . It exists within all my connections. Some more memorable than others. I’ve been around and I’ve learned a lot through such a variety of lovers. In all of my efforts and attempts to find love through other people, I see the cycle clearly of always being guided back … to myself . My heart is my home and I have finally learned to not just hand it over to someone just because I think they have potential. Love is free. But the key to my heart needs to be earned , not given.

Accountability. Perhaps we underestimate the value of power we gain when we take responsibility and accountability over our own lives. I’ve become more at peace and aligned with the frequency of harmony because I show up for myself and I no longer blame everyone else for my own shit. I don’t hate my father for spending all of his time fighting and damaging me throughout my youth because he is who he came to be. I can only choose to love him better through distance. I will not dwell on past lovers that cheated on me, led me on , betrayed me, chose someone else or couldn’t learn how to love me properly. I harness no ill feelings towards them. They showed up as themselves. I cannot be mad at people for being EXACTLY who they are and who they choose to be and how they show up in this world. I can only decide to choose me and to still choose love even towards people who may not deserve it from me or feel worthy. A broken heart leads to an open heart. I choose to be better . I choose forgiveness, acceptance and compassion .

Love. Love … just is. It is what it is. At all times. I used to have wild and lengthy explainations of what love is and what it means to me personally but the truth is I am still learning . I am experiencing a new and higher level of love for self, others , animals, food and land that I’ve never quite experienced before . When I go through heartbreak , it’s an opportunity to love more. When I am taken care of , nurtured , held , and given space to be my soft feminine self … I feel well loved . When those that I care about choose freedom and healing over suffering , that is love . When they heal themselves, they heal me. We are all one. I’m in a space of evolving in a way I never expected . Throughout every person I encounter and every experience I endure , the truth still remains that Love … is the way. Ase’🌹

CREDITS

Author & Curator :

Trashae Bradley Instagram: theethereal _empress Facebook: Trashae Bradley

Photographer:

Micah Thompson [IG: micah_thompson_photography] [Email: [email protected]]

Models:

Kouree Givens [ FB: Kouree Givens] [IG: koko_thetravelboss]

Nevia Simone [IG:@Nevia_Simone] [FB: Nevia Simone]

Larissa Appleberry [ FB: Larissa Appleberry]

Tamara Barnes [ IG: @tambmodel @modelmagickc] [LinkedIn: Tamara Barnes]

Teona Weaver [ IG: iamteona_k] [FB: Teona Weaver] [Twitter: ladylibraenergy]