Ladylike

“I drink tequila straight, haven’t brushed my hair in days, and I kiss on the first date if I’m really feelin’ it. I don’t even own a dress, bite my nails when I get stressed, do whatever for attention if I’m needin’ it. Controversial, so outspoken, I’ve been told that I’m not ladylike. But I’m a lady like whoa. I can bring you to your knees and get you kicked out the Garden of Eden. Untamable, unframable, Mona Lisa. Kiss you like a whiskey fire, turn around and leave your heart in a riot, lipstick in a cigarette pack on the dash. I’m a lady like that.”

Raise your hand if you’ve ever been personally victimized by the term ‘ladylike’ (my hand is all the way up). What’s it mean to be ladylike? What have I done to bring on such an “insult?”

Hey guys! Good afternoon and happy Tuesday to ya! I recently heard a song entitled Lady Like and it got me thinking about other women empowerment songs, a few of them being Mother’s Daughter by Miley Cyrus, Roar by Katy Perry, and Skyscraper by Demi Lovato. Have you listened to the power behind the words spoken in the songs that you’ve heard on women empowerment? I have.

Ladylike. What is the definition of Ladylike? Glad you asked. It is as follows: "appropriate for or typical of a well-bred, decorous woman or girl." Related words include: polite, refined, proper, correct, cultured, sophisticated, civil, courteous, and respectable. I’ve been told I’m not Ladylike. So in turn, I’ve been told that I am none of these synonyms of the word, either. Well my good sir, I’d like to point a few things out. Yes I am going to talk about myself real quick.

I was raised to be a very polite woman. I am absolutely kind and courteous to most people, especially in a professional or social setting. I am more cultured than half of the men who live in Oklahoma; I have traveled coast to coast, making friends from all backgrounds, and am able to discuss these backgrounds without preaching about being correct in my own views. Sophisticated, though perhaps I am not educated in the history of fashion, I do consider myself to be a sophisticated woman, in the right setting.

Now, let me tell you the qualities (yes, qualities) in myself that have been put down by some humans as being ‘unladylike.’ I curse. Yes, I curse. My favorite word is the F word. It can be used in a variety of different ways and I love the enhancement it puts on a sentence. Men don’t get put down for this. I speak my mind. Yes. I. Do. My momma raised me to be firm in my word and beliefs, so I will one hundred percent speak what’s on my mind, especially if it so happens to do with my personal freedoms and rights. I drink. Yep, I sure do. And it’s not always wine, which seems to be deemed the most sophisticated drink out there for a woman to drink. I drink wine, whiskey, tequila, vodka, and even the occasional beer (gasp). Yes, I’m a woman who enjoys beer as well. I do not shave my legs every day. I do not cross my legs when I sit. I definitely have been known to “accidentally” burp out loud louder than I should have. I definitely talk about my period openly. I have flipped my fair share of people off, especially in a fit of unladylike road rage. I have peed in the men’s room multiple times because the women’s bathroom is ALWAYS full. I wear a bra maybe 50% of the time because they’re UNCOMFORTABLE and they are also bad for your tatas. Oh, and also, I spend days sitting on my couch, eating every carb known to man-kind, and binge watching anything on Netflix because I can.

Now, can you tell me what the male version of the word Unladylike is? I’ll answer that for you: there isn’t one…because men are expected to be the way that I just described. "Boys will be boys." What a f*cking nightmare. So you’re telling me that I need to hold my tongue, politely agree to whatever anyone suggests, and bend to every belief because that is “ladylike?” Well, my friend. If you believe that, then you can f*ck right off. I’ll be waving goodbye, on the couch, covered in popcorn, with my bra hanging delicately on my bedroom doorknob. And the next time you see me, I’ll be poised, in jeans and heels, make up on point, and hair as flowy as the personality that I possess with my chin parallel to the ground. Because that is the type of woman that I am.

The point I’m trying to make here is that it’s the 21st century; it’s okay to be single at any point in your life, it’s okay to feel so awful that you don’t want to move from the couch, it’s perfectly okay to drink whatever the hell you like (and even over drink from time to time), and it is damn sure okay to disagree with others. So go on and own it.

Oh and also, if one more white man in politics tries to take away the rights I have to do whatever I want with MY body again, I will riot on the streets with the rest of unladylike women out there.