I Own My Body

I don't even know where to start this. I have been so disgusted today with the news about new abortion laws and the continued efforts that Old White Men continue to put in policing MY body and the bodies of other individuals with the same reproductive organs as myself. I'm sick to my stomach when I think about the actual CHILDREN who will now be forced to carry fetuses that they a) cannot raise, b) do not want, and c) should not have to risk their life bringing into a world that doesn't care about them after they take their first breath.

Little girls should be playing dress up with their dolls and making believe that they are princesses and mermaids and cowgirls and not learning how to change their own infant's diaper before they even know how to properly apply makeup. They shouldn't be pressured into sex in the first place, but that's a different rant. They also shouldn't be put in a situation where they're forced into relations with grown ass men or anybody who thinks that they are entitled to their bodies.

But, again, that's a rant for a different article.

What I want to focus on right now is the "A" word: Abortion. You can go ahead and say it because it's not a dirty word. It is an unfortunate part of our society and I believe that it likely always will be. No birth control will ever be 100 percent effective in preventing pregnancy. That's my opinion, at least. I may be proven wrong in the future. Who knows? The point is, abortion will happen. It's a sad fact of life that they happen and they will continue to happen, whether they are legal or safe to perform, simply because women who don't want kids or are not ready to bring any or more children into this world will continue to make that choice.

Some won't. Some will go with other options like adoption, which is a great option when you can line up a family that desperately wants that child...

But then what happens when you can't?

Resentment. Abandonment. Criminality.

Children who are not wanted often are abused by their caretakers (biological parents, foster parents, etc.). They are starved and beaten and worse. We've seen the horrors that humans are capable of and it doesn't take more than a single Google search to find cases in which unwanted children have lived absolutely horrid lives. I, for one, would rather not add to the population of living, breathing children who must suffer because their mothers were unable to make choices regarding their own bodies.

Young women (teenagers, preteens) who accidentally fall pregnant due to failed birth control, poor sex education, or (as the case too often occurs) rape, and are unable to afford abortions—either legally or illegally—and are forced to carry a child or want to abandon them, either to the foster system or... other, much more horrific ways. There are multiple cases of infants being found, dead or alive, in dumpsters, bathrooms, alleys, etc. Children that are abandoned by parents who never wanted to deal with them in the first place.

Is that preferable to the abortion of a fetus that cannot breathe or function on its own outside the womb? Is the death of a one-minute-old infant preferable to that of a three-month-old fetus without a brain stem? I know that it may seem crass to some that I am comparing the right to life of what they consider to be two individuals, but it has to be said.

As a cisgender woman, I have become increasingly aware over the fact that my body is consistently being policed by others who believe that they know better than I do. It's in the news all the time; new laws being passed that make it harder to get birth control, because "women shouldn't be having premarital sex;" restrictions on sex ed in education that feed teens incorrect information on the dangers of sexual relations and focuses on abstinence-only education, which leaves them unprepared for what may happen when they make the decision to become sexually active.

Remember: In states with abstinence-only education, teen pregnancy rates are higher.

Roe v. Wade became a thing because women were literally dying in back alleys due to their unwillingness to carry an unwanted pregnancy to term. Access to birth control and GOOD sex ed has proven to lead to less abortions. Being so well-informed and prepared means that we're less likely to be in need of such a procedure, so the fact that Old White Men seem more interested in stripping us of these preventative measures rather than investing in them—what sense does this make if they are so vehemently against abortion? It's insanity.

Speaking on a personal note, I will admit that I am in the majority of women who have never had an abortion. But that doesn't mean that I don't support that decision. That doesn't mean that I might never get one. That doesn't mean that I won't support the right of another woman to do what she wants with her body.

In fact, I know several women who have had abortions. Women who wanted those children, but couldn't safely carry them to term for reasons too personal to talk about. Women who already had one or two children, but couldn't afford to take care of another. Women who didn't have children and didn't want children and didn't want to put their body through the stress of a pregnancy which could do more harm than good. All are valid. All are fine reasons to not have a baby right now. Nobody should be forcing us to put our body through that kind of stress.

I will never give birth.

I know this as a woman with reproductive issues. I know this as a lesbian. I know this as somebody who would rather adopt a child in desperate need of good parents than bring another life into this world.

But I am not you and you are not me, and neither of us should allow Old White Men to tell us what to do with our bodies.