How To Stay Safe As A Man In The World

So recently, here in Colombia, many men are popping up in the news. Men are being robbed, and drugged. The travel bloggers are outraged; how is this happening?

I know; I have lived here for almost a year and have stayed safe. So I thought, since I am a woman, I should give the men some unsolicited advice, right?

Since I have also noticed under these vlogs in the comments that the men are all like, “Oh man; I can’t believe that happened”; “Colombia is so dangerous”. I write, “maybe not come for a hooker and blow, and you will be fine”. So they are not happy with me.

In my comments on a video about new entry rules to Colombia, I get comments on how you know what it’s like here? Don’t you know how dangerous this country used to be? So why are my words different than the men’s vlog channels?

I mean, they know what’s best for me, right?

So if you are a man I have some advice for you when traveling or in general. Unsolicited means no one asked me, and as a white woman, I know what’s best. (duh)

Let’s start with very basic.

When you are ready for the day, your excellent smelling cologne, tight wranglers, cowboy boots (with that kitten heel, ooh, I’m already excited), and that red t-shirt that hugs your chest right.

Think about me, how that will make me feel.

So you are thinking you look outstanding today, you have an important meeting at work, and a date later. The extra effort in your appearance is noted, by me a woman you will soon walk past (you lucky dog).

You walk by me on the street; you look focused (it’s probably that big meeting with your boss, and you are thinking a lot).

You pass me, I will say SMILE YOU SEXY BEAST. I am encouraging you to show those pearly whites; I want you to smile so you can match the rest of your outfit; nothing looks for sexy than a man with a smile and a tight t-shirt; I mean, your eyes are beautiful.

Tip: I am trying to make you feel good; you should smile for me; it’s your fault anyway that you look so good in those Wranglers, and yes, I noticed how they hug those. Accept the compliment, damnit. I mean, your eyes are stunning.

Next, think about us while you are getting dressed; please don’t assume that it is my fault how I react to what you have on.

Suppose you think that you may walk by a group of women working at a construction site or just a group of women in general. It would help if you always considered what you wear; how “we women” respond is your fault. We are just animals OK.

So when we whistle at you and compliment you by saying, “I want to put a baby in you,” “ooh damn, look at those curves,” “smile beautiful.” We want you to have confidence the rest of the day, plus it is your fault for wearing that white tight tank top with those cut-off jean shorts and those cowboy boots, oh, not a kitten heel again. We can’t help it; we are feral by nature.

Tip: We can not help how we react to what you wear. It is your fault for turning us on. I mean, those tight cheeks in those cut-off wranglers, I mean, your eyes are beautiful.

The next tip is more if you are out and want some alone time from your family and I see you sitting alone at the bar reading a book or nursing a glass of chardonnay.

The bar might be empty, but I know you are lonely and want me to sit next to you and compliment you since I see you alone; you look lonely and need a friend, probably have on those tight wranglers again.

It is your fault for looking so cute, and you have on some reading glasses. I can’t help myself.

I will buy you a drink since the one you have is still full; it is my “in” to start a conversation. If you tell me you already have one, I am just trying to get to know you and be your friend. You look lonely all alone, looking so damn; your eyes are beautiful.

Tip: take the damn drink; I want to get to know you, encroach upon your personal space, and not listen to your words.

It is your fault for being alone at a bar, having an evening to yourself, away from your kids, husband, boyfriend, or girlfriend. You still have that tight white top, and it just says talk to me.

So you should not go to a bar alone; if you do, I have every right to bother you; even when you tell me no 100 times, you are just flirting.

This next one is related, shocker! If you are with a group of your guy friends, you all look like you are having a fantastic time. I want to get to know you since you want attention because you have on those wranglers, extra tight; you are giving me the vibe of come over here and take me now.

I bring you an open drink, and I could have possibly roofied it, so I can get to know you more manageable; you know you passed out and drugged.

When you refuse my drink because you think it is roofied (you don’t tell me this, you assume all we women are rapists and druggies because that is what you have been told your whole life), you are wrong; I am different. I care, I do; I complimented your eyes, not how sexy that tight white top looks.

I am different; now take the damn drink. If you do not, I will tell you that “you’re not that hot anyway” and leave you to have fun with your friends; I know you are still thinking about me, and if you are lucky, I will wait for you outside later to harass you, I mean talk more intimately and hope you come home with me.

You’re not that hot, but you turned me down when it was your fault. It’s your fault, you laughing all night with your friends, being happy, a little tipsy.

Tip: Take the damn drink, it’s your fault you look hot and sexy, not mine. I am just trying to get to know you.

A satire, yet this is why we women are so much more careful.

Every one of these situations has happened to me repeatedly, and I am sure every woman is reading this. So I am not sure why we women are consistently more cautious when traveling and in life.

So to my men travelers, don’t take drinks from strangers, don’t meet a girl on tinder, invite her up to your house, don’t flash cash, don’t trust anyone, especially a hot woman who is too hot for you.

She is most likely working with others to rob you, or worse. Maybe I am jaded after years of being cautious, but it has kept me safe. I mean, it’s so essential, but the men here realize they are not invisible, stop thinking with your dicks.

That is all for my unsolicited advice for the day, enjoy your Sunday. If you have on tight wranglers, I will find you and make you feel really uncomfortable 😜🤣.

XOXO

S.