Helping Women Understand Their Worth

A heartbreaking conversation

She ducked her head, not wanting to meet my gaze. “I have trouble saying ‘no’ to guys. Sometimes I just give in and let them do whatever they want to me because I think, 'What does it matter?'”

I thumped my fist on my leg and leaned toward her. “It does matter. You matter. You were made for more than that.”

She rolled her eyes.

I knew what she was thinking: Okay, Jesus-loving girl. Easy for you to say.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “Well, I don’t always think that way. Just sometimes.”

“You shouldn’t ever think that way. Try to train yourself to not think that way. God didn’t create you to be a plaything for men. He created you to love Him and love other people, and He loves you so much that He came to earth to die for you so you could be in relationship with Him forever. You were made for more. Always remember that.”

As I looked into her eyes again, I saw the cloud of doubt. But something else was there too. A glint of hope. She didn't believe me, but she wanted to.

What she didn’t know (and I didn’t take time out of the class to explain, although maybe I should have) was that I was kind of saying those words to a younger version of myself.

I used to feel the same way

I was 17 when I lost my virginity, and it took me over a decade to realize I had been raped. He was my boyfriend at the time, and we were at his house. I thought it would be okay because his parents were there, but then they left, and I knew it wouldn’t be okay at all. He’d already been pressuring me to have sex with him before that, and I kept putting him off. That night, when we were alone and he was on top of me, I told him to stop. He did for a minute, but then he started back up again. And I felt powerless to do anything about it because he wouldn’t stop, no matter what I said. So, I just let it happen.

And I kept letting it happen with other guys (and sometimes I would even initiate it — the victim taking control and not letting herself be the victim again). Sometimes they bought me things and I thought, What does it matter? I’ve already lost my virginity. I can’t get it back. This is all I’m good for. At least I’m getting something out of it.

It took me decades, a lot of prayer, and several encounters with some good, godly men who showed me I was more than just a sex toy, for me to realize that I was worth more. But I’m there now, and I want to help other women get there too. More than anything.

When I tell another woman, “You were made for more than that,” I don’t say it lightly. I don’t say it as someone who hasn’t been there and doesn’t know what it feels like to have your soul and spirit ripped out of you.

I know.

But I want them to know they were made for more. So much more. They were made for real love and true acceptance for who they are, not for what they can give or do for someone else. I want to help them believe it, receive it, and live it.

Using what I've learned to help other women

One of my greatest passions is fighting human trafficking and helping survivors rediscover who they were meant to be and find other ways to support themselves. Each week, I meet with women who used to sell their bodies for food or drugs, or who used to be sold by other people for those things and more. Women whose sense of self-worth, if it exists at all anymore, has been so distorted that they, like the woman I mentioned at the beginning of this story, don't believe they matter outside of what other people think about them.

My dream is to create a community where women can come and find hope. Each month, I would send them a new Crowned Free product. Half of Crowned Free's products are made by survivors, and 20% of all proceeds go to organizations that fight human trafficking and/or help survivors. Every week, I would send out a beautiful message of hope. Each day, I would send powerful affirmations.

Every dollar earned would help me help more women. Every community membership would be a partnership in making a difference in the world, one woman at a time.

Because every woman is worth it. Every woman deserves more.