Has Feminism Become Toxic?

The short answer is yes. Over the years feminism, which once was a righteous fight for basic opportunities and rights for women. Has become an excuse to both demoralize women and demonize men. Yet mainstream media bends over backwards in order to portray this new feminism as a righteous fight that needs to be pushed even further because women are becoming more and more oppressed by the evil men who have all the power and privilege. You see so much news coverage and social media comments gushing over our woman this and that in our government, but only in the Democratic party. Any woman this or that within the Republican party is undermined and ignored, but that is a completely different topic altogether. The fact is the media acts like women need to continue to persevere in a society that only rewards men. On top of that women are pressured by music, art, and social media to show off their bodies and do provocative things in order to persevere against men. Basically women should be free to show everything without fear of being shamed. And if you dare to shame them you are a misogynist. Misogyny is a word that is being thrown around to the point where the meaning have become soft. Less severe. Less meaningful. When a word that should hold weight has become weightless that should be a red flag. Yet if you say something you risk being shunned. This problem I am seeing with feminism matters to me because I am a woman who cares about people of all walks of life. Another reason why this issue that I am seeing matters to me is because I bought into a lot of it.

I believed showing your body was empowering because I bought into the idea that it meant you were comfortable in your own skin. I saw it as a way of loving yourself and your body. A way to show beauty in the female form. This may be because I grew up on a Fine Arts education. I went to a Fine Arts middle schools, high school, and even college. I started drawing from nude models, primarily women, at the age of 12. For most of my life I have genuinely seen beauty in the nude female form no matter the body type. I still do, but I no longer buy into the mainstream media's portrayal an empowered female nude. The reason why is because this new feminist agenda has pushed the boundaries of empowerment of the female form to the point where it is straight up pornography. A great example of this is today's mainstream music and what a lot of young women are doing on the internet. More and more you see famous female musicians singing provocative songs while dressed like strippers and performing like strippers. You see everyday girls hopping online to create an Onlyfans page to proudly sell their bodies for money simply because it's their choice and they are taught that it is empowering. These two things are related. Images and videos of women who are put in role model positions showing their bodies while moving provocatively are plastered all over our screens. The last Grammy awards show featured two women basically scissoring each other for children of all ages to see. I mention children because the Grammy awards is a show that is put on prime time television which is meant to be family friendly. So having this pornographic performance by this year's women of the year on a family friendly station would subliminally tell any young girl that it is okay to be overly provocative in the public eye. With the normalization of camsites and subscription based sites like Onlyfans. Going into the sex industry has becoming increasingly attractive to a girl who normally would have never considered sex work. This is because all day everyday, girls are seeing other women get positive attention and money showing their bodies to the world. Basically there's an obvious reward given for objectifying yourself as a woman and it's plastered all over your screens. You see it on TV, you hear it in your music, you see it on your computer, you see it on your phone. You are told it is good and it is powerful to show your body and be immoral. This has become a big part of today's feminism. Another in your face agenda of contemporary feminism is #AllMenAreTrash or the demonization of all men. This is a part of feminism that I thankfully never bought into.

How can a whole gender be bad? I admit I am a victim of domestic violence and rape done by a man, but I have never demonized men as a collective whole. I just came to the conclusion that that particular person is a piece of trash and learned from the mistakes that I made in that relationship going forward. Yes, I actually found mistakes I made because calling everything “victim blaming” is dangerous. You need to learn from bad experiences to grow or else you are at risk of repeating the same bad situation that you escaped. Or even worse, you become the perpetrator while justifying abusing another person because you were once abused. It's not easy to heal from abuse. It will take years and help from many kind souls to overcome it. Unfortunately some will never overcome it because they lack the tools and support to do so. This still doesn't justify toxic behavior like demonizing all men in the name of feminism. Yes, during the start of feminism men did put up walls and boundaries that kept women from having the opportunities that we enjoy now. Opportunities like making an income for yourself, being able to progress in any field of work of your liking, and voting. All these walls that men initially put up have been taken down and they've been down for many many years now. The fact is, men as a generic whole are not keeping you from any goals in life and for the most part they respect a woman's decision. In most cases it's women who are being disrespectful towards men and they feel like they're justified because in our historical past men did undermined women. Another harmful hashtag in the guise of being righteous and good is #MeToo. Another hashtag meant to support victims, primarily women, of abuse. When #MeToo starting trending all over mainstream media, I genuinely thought is was a good thing. As a victim of abuse and rape, I thought this was a way for victims to speak up without fear of any kind of negative retaliation against them. Instead it became a tool for people to use to ruin an innocent person's life. I saw #MeToo ruin many innocent men because people had this “always believe the victim” mentality. They would basically coddle the victim while attacking the abuser before any actual proof of abuse was given. I think the reason why #MeToo isn't as prevalent anymore is because it was doing more harm than good in the end. Many of these feminist hashtags that got so much media attention ended up becoming tools to hurt innocent people and mostly innocent men. From my point of view this is all crazy and will only damage the relationship between men and women if it already hasn't.

In the US feminism was a great movement that opened the doors to a variety of opportunities and rights that women today take part in and enjoy. Though feminism is still an important movement for women in other parts of the world like the middle east and many Asian countries. It has become a cancer in the US. Unlike many other countries, women have opportunities and rights and we used them all the time. As a woman of color, I can find employment in any line of work I can imagine. I still need the right education, skills, and certifications, but my gender and even race has never been a crutch. At this point, feminism in the US has become an excuse for toxic behavior. Feminism says being a porn star is something to be proud of. Feminism is saying that all men should be punished because they are evil and all women need to be coddled away from the evil men. When I take a step back and look at what contemporary feminism has done to today's young women, girls, and even myself. It is sickening and it makes me wonder how did we get here? When I think about it, we have been fed little by little that this and that is okay until the envelope was pushed to the point that the ugly truth is revealed. And it's everywhere. It's in our magazines. It's in our books. It's on our TV. It's on our computer. It's on our phone. It's everywhere and they all tell you that it's okay and that this is a good thing. The only way I see to stop this toxic behavior is by speaking up about it.