Happy Single's Awareness Day

As soon as a new year rolls around I metaphorically (ok. . . maybe not completely metaphorically) fist bump the air and got all these good feels about how this year is gonna be my year and I'm gonna get this banging body and then it's suddenly February and UUUUUGGGGGHHHHH *insert full body cringe*. Hearts and flowers and pink and it's like the mind of a five year old girl who loves mermaids and unicorns threw up EVERY WHERE. You can't go into any store or restaurant or anywhere really that other human beings frequent without being reminded that that dreaded day is coming up and once again you are alone this year despite telling yourself that things were going to be different (but if we're being honest with ourselves we knew deep down that that guy from Hinge wasn't really going to work out in the end.) And nothing reminds you more that you still have that holiday chub like the skimpy lingerie that you won't be using on your not date. Or the fact that you don't have anyone to buy that lingerie for because you don't have a date that's going to buy you over priced chocolates and try too hard at an overcrowded restaurant with crappy food.

*sigh*

Nothing is worse than every family member or coworker or rando asking what your plans are for Valentine's Day (as if it were their right to know) when you in fact planned on not wearing pants and drinking that whole bottle of wine (or two) while your cat not-so-silently judges you from a safe distance so you don't "accidentally" grab them to smother once you start crying.

Over the past years (2019 and the shit-show that was 2020) I've struggled a lot with finding myself and being ok with being single. Almost all of my cousins were in a relationship (all of which younger than me) and my family kept asking when I was going to find someone or if there was anyone new in my life *hint, hint. wink, wink. nudge, nudge* Even my coworkers were trying to set me up with regulars at work or even the new guy that was roughly my age (though totally not my type). I didn't understand why it was so important to be "claimed" and why it wasn't ok to be single when at the same time everyone was reminding me of how young I am and "there's still time".

Stuck in a rut and not sure who to believe or what direction I should be moving in, I was listening to a random playlist when I then heard Lizzo's (god bless her beautiful soul) song "Soulmate" and I felt that in my bones. The whole song is about selflove.

The chorus goes:

'Cause I'm my own soulmate (Yeah, yeah) / I know how to love me (Love me) / I know that I'm always gonna hold me down / Yeah, I 'm my own soulmate (Yeah, yeah) / No, I'm never lonely (Lonely) / I know I'm a queen but I don't need no crown / Look up in the mirror like damn she the one

And I felt that in my bones. I didn't (and still don't) feel like I have to be in a relationship. It's a choice that I can make, not something that needs to happen to accomplish the things that I want to in life. And my girl Lizzo understood me.

To overcome the Valentine's Day slump and to not fall into that emotional pit of self pity, I like to remind myself that I am a strong independent woman who don't need no man. I know what I like and what I want and I can give that to myself. That I'm happy (maybe for the first time in a long time) by myself. There is way less drama in the threesome of Me, Myself and I. And nothing says that more than an empowering girl-power playlist of self love that you can dance to in your underwear while enjoying that bottle of wine.

Another song that spoke to me with vary similar vibes is "Good Thing (with Kehlani)" by Zedd.

The opening verse is:

I book myself tables / At all the best restaurants, then eat alone / I buy myself fast cars / Just so I can drive them real fuckin' slow / I like my own company / Company, I don't need it / I'm not always cold / I'm just good on my own, so good on my own

and then goes into the chorus with:

Cause I already got a good thing with me / Yeah, I already got everything I need / The best things in life are already mine / Don't tell me that you got a good thing for me / 'Cause I already got a good thing with me / Yeah, I already done everything I dreamed / I'm good by myself, don't need no one else / Don't tell me that you got a good thing for me / 'Cause I already got a good thing.

The rest of the song goes on to explain other things she enjoys doing on her own and I could relate to this so much. I've dressed up and taken myself out to dinner or the movies and I had a great time and really enjoyed myself (when ignoring the weird judgy looks for being out by myself). There is so much stigma around being a certain age and single, but I threw out the handbook and enjoyed a beautiful night all by myself. This is how wonderful life should be.

It was songs like this and many others embracing being the beautiful independent woman that I am as well as others reminding me why I'm better off without my ex (thanks Dua!) that lead me to compile a playlist to keep me upbeat and filled with positive self love.

So if you find yourself alone this Valentine's Day and just wanting to belt out some songs and dance around in your underwear I highly recommend this fun list of songs.

It'll also be great for a Galentine's Day with your girlfriends for background noise or a collective dance party because we're single and proud and nothing can stop us!