From to Green Tea to Black Tea: The Tea-rrific Labels For Tea-rrible Women in Asia

Let’s face it, ladies. Most of us have been labeled negatively at some point in our lives — knowingly or unknowingly. “Bimbo”, “whiny bitch” and “gold digger” are just three examples of the labels society loves to make based on our looks, actions, or marital status. And let’s be honest, some labels are just downright funny (and maybe a little bit accurate) while some are just downright mean.

Asians are famous for their discreet speech. Words are carefully selected to express their message, including insults! If an Asian calls you a cup of “Green Tea”, it’s not a compliment — it means you’re an acquired taste that not everyone can stomach!

Fret not, I’m here today to spill the tea on those tea-rrific labels that Asians (specifically among the Chinese-speaking community) came up with for tea-rrible women they were unfortunate to cross paths with.

So grab a cup of tea and let’s dive into them!

1. The Green Tea

Ah, the classic above-average looking woman who knows how to use her charm well and play the victim, making others around her villains! She also has a talent for making her love interests shower her with sympathy and make them feel inclined to be protective of her. Better watch out if your love rival fits the description of this tea that goes great with a plate of sushi!

2. The Pu’er Tea

Say hello to the innocent-looking woman who used to be a goody two-shoes back in high school. Now that she’s in the workforce, she understands exactly how to leverage her position as a woman to take advantage of others. Thankfully, since she’s late to the villain party she poses the least threat compared to the other types of tea due to her inexperience.

3. The Chrysanthemum Tea

You know that friend who’s always the life of the party and can win anyone’s trust very quickly? Well, she’s also a very capable career woman and a bit of a go-getter. Job promotion, money… If she sees something she likes, she won’t stop at nothing to get it — even if it’s her bestie’s lover! So, perhaps you should keep your S.O. away from her, just to be safe.

4. The Black Tea

She shows up at every gathering like a supermodel on the runway, complete with killer make up game and a wardrobe that shows off all her best assets. She’s not shy to show off her cleavage and toned legs in some pretty daring outfits either. While she insists that she’s a one-man kind of woman, her dating history suggests otherwise. She probably has a collection of broken hearts hidden in her fantastic closet too!

5. The Milk Tea

The epitome of an innocent sweetheart — all doe-eyed and soft spoken like most Disney Princesses. Never let her appearance fool you because she’s the general of an army of soldiers who fall all over themselves to do her bidding. She’s got all of them wrapped around her little finger, keeping things vague so that she can enjoy a lifetime of free services, or at least until they finally wise up and cut her off.

6. The Dragon Well Tea

She prefers pants over skirts, combat boots over heels. She loves keeping things real and spares no effort in maintaining her image, at least that’s what she claims. Well, turns out she’s got a bit of a hidden talent for looking good. She never sleeps without slapping night cream all over her face and carefully curates her outfit every day. She calls her guy friends her “bros”, but flirts with them anyway and tells their jealous partners that they’re nothing more than just friends.

7. The Coffee

Coffee isn’t exactly a form of tea, but its aroma is a head turner, much like this type of woman. She is sophisticated, refined, intellectual and classy, like a fine cup of Joe. Though underneath her flawless exterior, she’s actually rather dark and devious, gifted with keen eyes for spotting the wealthiest and most handsome men to use for her own benefit.

8. The Cheap Tea

These are women who will never run out of juicy gossip to share, and they take it to the next level — they’ll talk smack about their own friends behind their backs without a care in the world. The next day, you see them hanging out at the cafe with those “friends” they’ve been talking badly about. The mystery of their real friends is as profound as the secrets of the universe. And if you think you’re one of them, then congratulations, you’re probably also one of their juicy topics to talk about when you’re not invited to their afternoon tea!

9. The Nongfu Spring Water

“Nongfu Spring” is a well-known bottled water brand in China. Certain women are labeled as “water” because of their infinite potential. One minute they’re shy and soft-spoken, and the next they’re a social butterfly. These women can transform into any of the eight stereotypes above depending on the situation. They are truly like water that can change its flavor depending on what you add to it. One thing for sure, these women are formidable enemies that you should not underestimate!

I have to admit, these are really creative and discreet! Even though we may find some of them amusing, negative labels have a serious impact on someone’s life and affect how others perceive them. It’s important for us to remember that humans are complex beings with many sides to them. Sometimes, we may be unfortunate to get acquainted with their bad side, but it should serve as a reminder to us so that we don’t act the same to others while striving to become the best versions of ourselves.