Don't Ask Me When I'm Having a Baby

It is automatically assumed that when a woman enters her early twenties that she would be trying for a baby. And if she hasn't given birth or hinted at having a family by the time she is 25, something must be terribly wrong. In my own experience, older family members seem to think it is perfectly acceptable to ask you when you're going to have a baby every single time you see them.

"When are you having a baby then?"

"Don't you think it's time for you to settle down?"

"It's about time you gave us the pitter patter of tiny feet!"

Not only is this frustrating to listen to over and over again, but it seems to take precedence over everything else in life.

I have been to University and I have graduated; I have run my own business; directed and stage managed productions; I currently have a stable job and a stable relationship in my own home. There have been accomplishments in my life that not many people can say they have had, but none of it is acknowledged because I am not yet a mother.

Do I want children? Yes. Am I in a rush for them? No.

Sometimes I do wonder what it would be like to have a child of my own, but for the most part, I do not envy the friends I have who are mothers already. They are happy with their choice to become a mother. I am happy with mine not to be.

In this day and age, there are many women my age who are yet to have children and the reasons for this are varied. It is no longer a priority for many young women for many different reasons.

The reason that I hear of most is that women are too busy pursuing careers to concentrate on raising a family. Obviously, a woman can do both of these if she really wants to and I have friends who have both and do both and I take my hat off to them. But, a lot of women choose to concentrate on their careers before bringing another life into this world.

Another reason I have heard is that the world we live in at the moment is a dangerous one and there are certain things that worry both men and women alike about bringing a child into a world where there are terrorist attacks, shootings, racial hate crimes and other vile happenings.

And there is the reason that I am not yet a mother and I am not in a rush to do so...having a child for some women is not an easy thing to do. I have been pregnant, but I am yet to be a mother.

So, before asking a woman when she is going to have a child, you should stop and think...is she a career woman? Is she overly cautious? Or is she simply hiding pain every time you ask her?