Beware Of The Groomer
Why young girls should be taught about grooming behaviors.
We've all seen those Facebook post about age differences in relationships, you know the ones asking how old is he and how old are you? Every now and then those post hold comments on how a very young girl is claiming her boyfriend is just a few years older and that he likes her because she is "mature." No big deal, correct? Well the young girl is only sixteen and her "few years older" boyfriend is in his twenties.
Grooming is the process by which an adult befriends and gains trust of the a child (and in some cases the child's family) in order to take advantage of the child for sexual purposes.
The chances of hearing a young woman being groomed before hitting 18 have grown wildly over the years. With the internet being a huge hit in today's society, groomers have even adapted to using websites to seek out and lure victims. They start off being oddly friendly and kind then their kindness slowly turns into manipulation and using your personal life against you (and family) The grooming process can last as long as the Predator wishes it to be, this is usually based on the prey's reaction to each of the predator's behavior; a victim of past trauma/abuse or in need of any kind of emotional and even financial support is a Groomer's ideal target.
We are not taught about grooming as a young child, matter of fact there's a lot of people who do not know much about grooming either. We hear about rapists , pedophiles, and abusers in the medias but not many have cracked down on grooming.
I, myself, have been a victim of a groomer and it has left me emotionally stunned. Not only was I a minor, but he took initiative to lie about his own age for months to not just me but my own family. I was a great target for him, I have rape and abuse trauma, my grandma was sick with cancer so I was very needy; emotionally speaking. It took four years for me to finally realize I had been groomed and he was abusing me. I was mad at myself for not even comprehending I was being groomed despite the fact I have trauma from other Predators. All I could think is how different he went about hurting me, it was a long process for him and it became a game the longer I stayed to play.
It is upsetting to know as a young girl, we are told to not have sex by our health teachers, therapists , and even parents. As if sex is the most dangerous thing out there, when we should be learning more on grooming behaviors and how toxic masculinity is not worth praising (Bad boys are not cute ladies, they should not be a type.)
Now that I am free from a groomer, I think it's time to help others leave their own and help spread awareness on Grooming behavior to keep those who have yet been groomed; safe.
If you find yourself being groomed, please seek help by reporting them to your local police station, It can be scary but you are not alone!
National Sexual Assault Hotline: 1-800-656-4673