Being Someone's Sunshine

So I was kind of torn writing this. I didn't have the most traditional childhood or family.

While growing up I'd avoid questions like what does your dad do.

However I have come to realize that it doesn't really matter. How I grew up or with whom.

or

Does it?

I suppose in the long run it does matter. The people who raised me , those around me and the people who I continue to surround myself with all shaped me into who I am today.

My vibe tribe as I like to call the ones who are still around.

See growing up I put up with a lot of stuff both in school and out.

At 27 I promised myself that if people were negative, toxic or down right mean, I had no room for them in my life. Family or not. So yes there are people that I have ill feelings for , theres people I no longer speak too and theres people who I know are nice to my face but judge me when I'm not around.

I'm ok with that though and because I'm ok with that I'm ok writing this article and story of how other people were my sunshine and inspiration. I someday hope to pass on their love, wisdom and characteristics onto others including my own children one day.

To start with my mom had me at 16 and because of that my grandma raised me.

My biological mom though she wouldnt of been able to be who she is today had she been stuck at home raising me.

She showed me what sacrifice , hardwork and dedication can do.

While she didn't raise me she wasn't absent and while my father whom still isn't in my life ( by my choice) never paid child support my mom never missed a payment. That was in whole becase of that hardwork that I mentioned. Growing up I seen her often and was involved in many family outings and trips. If I needed something she did her best to get it for me.

Something that to this day I still don't think she knows how greatful I am for. See she didn't just take care of me for 18 years , she also started her family with her husband that is the father to my half siblings. Which for the record we never refer to each as half siblings we always say our brother or sister.

My mom is the definition of a hardworking woman and it was easy to be inspired by her fro a early age even if I didn't fully notice or apperciate that inspiration until I was older.

My Grandmother

My Grandmother who I called mom for most of my life growing up had already had and raised 5 kids of her own and raised her sisters two kids for the first ten years of their lives. 1 of my grandmothers children was a twin to another and she unfortnatly passed away of crib death. By the time my mom was pregnant with me its safe to say she was tired and most likely well over being a parent.

However even still as soon as she was asked she made the decision to raise me while my mom worked and built a life for herself.

While growing up with my grandma I learned alot. Kindness, empathy and the ability to not be caught up on materialistic items and if I was going to be caught up on them to work hard for them and not depend on others to buy it.

Making a lot from a little was my grandmas speciality. She sparked my love for cooking and baking, and always encouraged me to learn new things even if it was hard.

Failure didn't mean failing with her it just meant try again or admit it's not for you.

She has inspired me to go out on a limb and follow my passion of cake decorating and for 5 years I ran a cottage bakery out of my home. I made some gorgeous and amazing cakes. However some weeks I'd have 8+ cakes orders in a weeks time but then thered be 6 week periods of no orders. It wasn't consistent income. I loved what I was doing but it wasn't working and the area I lived in simply didn't have the scale I needed to create a career out of it.

So I put my frosting tips down for the time being and started up another passion I have.

Writing.

And so far I love it. I have received judgement from it. Family and friends included. However I think there will always be someone somewhere who wants to whisper in peoples ear they aren't good enough or doing it the " Right Way "

Sometimes there isnt a right or wrong way. You never know until you try and if there's one thing my grandmother has inspired me to do .

It's to try even when you're afraid of failing and when you fail find a way to make it work if you really enjoy what youre doing and if you can't not be afraid to say this isn't for me and to find something else that brings you.

My Volunteer Supervisor Turned Friend / Family

When I was 14 I went to a local library event for a harry potter birthday . During that event I found out they had a teen council that helped plan programs for teens and young adults, held fundraisers like book sales that benefitted the library and bake sales that helped fund craft supplies. Yeah bake sales were still a thing then. Anyway the woman in charge of the young adult program at that branch stuck with the program until I tunred 19 and I had to stop she retired a few years later and we still talk to this day.

She was more than just a supervisor at a library program though. She became the adult my friends and I became close too. We spent alot of months that turned to years planning programs and having fun.

She went through alot of pizza's and alot of teenage stories, obnoxious behavior, first loves and heartbreaks and more. She listened when we were upset about home life but encouraged us to see our parents side and also encouraged us to have healthy forms of communication with them .

She kept in contact with alot of us after we left or maybe we bugged her to keep in contact either way I know that she has became one of my best friends and extended family members and I love her for everything she did while I was volunteering with her and after.

She opened my creativity during my times at the libary and I'm happy to say that creativity has stuck with me.

In my hobbies, my careers and my expression of who and how I am.

She always encouraged us to be us and not feel awkward that we weren't all the same. She inspired me to be as welcoming , creative and fun as she was.

She is absolutely inspiring and her hard and ability to be fun and professional at the same time helped me develop a healthy balance as I grew into the young woman and woman I have became.

I think the best thing about her prescene is how she makes a room feel cozy and full of love and light. If that isn't inspiring I don't know what is.

Mel Robbin's

This isn't someone I know so I don't know if everyone will feel as if that counts. However when I think about people who have inspired me I definitely include her and her work.

See about 4 years ago I had sunken into a pretty bad depression. I let housework and myself go. It happens alot after kids and when you are trying to figure out how to make a new routine work. Having two kids 14 months apart wasn't and isn't always easy.

I had bad habits that needed broken and things that needed worked on. From my habit of saying oh I'll do it tomorrow then tomorrow never came or just my bitter outlook on the next day and the things that needed to be done.

" Oh I don't want to do that right now"

Same excuses different day's and how do you get out of that viscious cycle once is started.

Well if you're like me you pick yourself out of the pint of ben and jerrys long enough to scroll through your instagram feed and find a video of a fiery personality blonde woman talking about how when she finally broke her habit of hitting the snooze button It was a cold dark morning in boston .

I knew what she was talking about . I lived at the oregon coast at the time and in the winter. It can get chilly. Except I didn't feel that cold morning at that time while breaking habits no that was my 5am bathroom breaks that woke me up then I fell back into bed only to wake up at 8 and not want to do anything.

Not the dishes Not the laundry. Nothing.

Then I read and watched more of Mel Robbins. I watched her 5 second rule ted talk . I watched her Ted Talk on how to stop screwing yourself over and I still to this day look at her videos .

She is truly inspiring to me and has helped me change my life by sharing her advice and experiences.

I recommend her to friends who are struggling often and so far I havn't had anyone come back and say they don't like her so I like to think a good amount of people find her inspiring.

Finding Inspiration in a Celebrity

P!nk

Now I want to be clear that a lot of great celebrities are out there and I admire more than just this one .

However this is the one I grew up with for the most part I think I was 14 or 15 when her song "Get the party started" Was becoming really popular.

Anyway throughout her career and album releases she has always been a

" real " celebrity . The one who doesn't hide her struggles, sings about things that have been difficult for her and makes sure that her attitude has always aligned with being empowering to young girls and women.

As a plus size teenager I struggled a lot with my weight and my health problems didn't help that any. Songs like " F*ckin Perfect" "Family Portrait" "Most Girls" and others really helped me through some times like i'm sure many others have experienced with other songs.

She has always been quick to shut down body shaming of any type and that is something we need more of in hollywood for young girls and women to see and hear.

Perfection is overrated.

P!nk’s name is even about acceptance and is inspirational. Her given name Alecia Beth Moore, however she got the name she’s now known for, she’s said, because she was a “tomboy and token white girl in my group.” She based her entire professional persona around her nickname—now that’s some serious self-love.

Something that she inspired me to do and I needed it was to love myself , and care less what others think about how and who you are as long as you are happy and not hurting others.

Finally

My Daughter

My daughter inspires me everyday to be the best person and mom I can be. She helps me see things I normally wouldnt and finds beauty in the most unexpected places. She inspires me to do better and be better for her and for the girls who will be touched by her prescence in their own lives so hopefully she can inspire others as much as she does me.

I couldn't pick just one inspirational woman so I picked a handful that I feel inspired me to become who and how I am today.

I consider all these women special ,unique and inspiring in their own ways.

They all played a part in the woman I have become today. I'm pretty proud of that woman I hope they are too.