A letter to the awkward, quiet & weird girls at school.
so you found this post because you seen your "school label" written in the title, right. Well im glad you found it cause im here to tell you that i was you once. I was the werid girl that didn't fit into any group at school but i had friends, i didn't wear the short skirts, the make up and the must have bag that all the girls had (however i did in my 1st year of high school), i wore black baggy linen trousers (which were on trend to start with but i still wore them even when they went out cause well they were comfy), when it got the 3rd year 4th and 5th i wore black skinny jeans,converse with a big,chunky,burgundy zip up messanger bag. i wasn't allowed to wear make up to school but i would sneak some on quickly before i left for school. I will admit i did try and fit in a couple of time so i felt pretty the all the other girls at school but i would forget i was wearing make up and then get home and my mum would see needless to say she wasn't happy, i also tried to short bodycon skirts but the alway wiggled their way up so you'd end up pulling it down more than anything else hence the reason i stuck to trousers after that looking pretty wasnt worth the uncomfortable skirts and telling offs from my mum.
i was never the most desirable girl at school no boys really like me and the ones i did like never liked me back,well they did on the very odd ocassion but still most of the time i just felt invisiable or like i was just there, i was just the werid,quiet girl.
However there was one person in particular, a boy that even when i felt invisible to everyone else, he saw me. If you have a person like that in your life never let them go,ever!
Now im gonna tell you something that you will probably laugh because right now it probably seems impossible like it will never happen but when high school is done and you have grown up a bit more, puberty, life lessons and make up skill will be gained which will sculpt you into the "she got hot" girl from school, the boys that never liked you or were for better words complete dickheads to you at school will message you trying to hit that now tidy ass and that when karma gives you the chance to delete the message or make the rejection taste to sweet with a reply back of "no thanks,i'm good",they didnt want you at your "awkward" stage they can't have you at your "hot" stage its as simple as that.
I will say you may stay the quiet, werid girl and may still be awkward as hell at 24 (*cough* me!) but thats just who you are and thats something i will never change about myself, im quiet because i don't like small talk because an "how are you?" is always replied back with "im fine" or "im just doing away" when in reality a simple "how are you?" could be made into a real and much deeper conversation that let's you get to know each other on a deeper level. "How are you?" give you a chance to let feelings out that you've holding on for so long and could potentially make the person realise they are in the same boat as with their life and not feel so alone. I stay quiet because people nowadays don't know how to feel when people open upto them like that so i stay quiet. Im weird because im quiet how i dress,the way i do my make up the things i like all express who i am without having to say a word, i wanna look intimidating i wear all black with heels or i wear a colourful eye make up and big platform boots, you do what others are to scared to do with their style or make up or life because they are scared of what everyone else will think
That honey is why you should be proud to be the weird, awkward, quiet girl at school. BE YOU!! If people think your mean because you didn't smile all the time then look mean it just means you don't have to deal with their shit and not everyone deserves to see your beautiful smile anyway so you smile when you want to smile, you smile when something happens and you dont do anything but smile and laugh, smile and laugh at things that make your soul happy and even better smile at people that try to put you down they hate that. You be awkward until you find that persons that you feel nothing but comfort with and never settle for less, if you dont feel like you can be you around then they are not your people leave and find the people that do make you feel more you, and if you can't then get comfortable with your own company, get comfortable solidarity,no bullshit, no drama, and no one but your sisters stealing your clothes. You will soon learn sweetheart that everything will change and high school isn't forever and truthfully you might miss it sometimes but people come and go in our lives the only one that stays with you is you so be the most you you can be always. never worry if no ones gonna like you or your appearance only you have to like you so wear what you wish damn if you wanna wear a doctors coat and 70's platform heels do it!
In all seriousness know sweetheart you won't always be the ugly duckling, you'll get the boys that don't like you now and you'll get the chance to tell them to fuck off aswell but for now focus on your work and getting good grades not to sound like your mum but its true your grades and hard work will stay with you forever but people will come and go.
i hope i've inspired you to be more werid and akward and to only commuincate with people on the same wave length as you. remember if you feel like you have to reply with "im fine" they're not your people.
much love sweetheart, Aletia x