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7 Ways to Know When a Blind Loyalty Is Hurting You

by Jessey Anthony 4 months ago in relationships
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Signs you are dating a pro playboy.

When you are in love, you believe anything your partner says. You are loyal to them because you trust them to keep your best interest at heart and to the extent that they won’t betray you.

Sometimes we are blindly loyal to people we love out of obligation or tradition.

Blind loyalty is a function of trust and love. If you can love blindly, you can be blindly loyal to them as well.

However, dating an emotionally unavailable man changes the relationship’s dynamic of trust and love.

Being with an emotionally unavailable man can make a woman doubt herself and question whether or not her guy really trusts and loves her.

It’s extremely painful to feel shut out by your partner and unable to connect on a deep and intimate level.

Emotionally unavailable people have a hard time receiving love and other deep emotions from others.

They’re not self-aware about how their aversion to intimacy affects a potential partner, either.

Dating a man who is emotionally unavailable puts a strain on your happiness and makes it impossible to develop a healthy relationship, as the entire dynamic of the couple is centered around deceit.

Is he emotionally unavailable?

You may be wondering, “How does an emotionally unavailable man act?”

If your guy seems emotionally unattached, it is normal to wonder if this is temporary or part of his personality.

Emotionally unavailable men are known to be players or casanova. They are often closed off and do not let people in.

A player is a charming seducer who has mastered the art of finding, meeting, flirting, and luring beautiful women into his bed.

Once he has achieved his goal, he leaves the woman and sets off in search of his next target.

Players can be categorized into two types, those who have been heartbroken in the past and those who are easily bored and thus switch from one girl to another.

Playboys are good at romantic manipulation, which can confuse a lot of women into thinking they care, but maybe they don’t know how to show it.

Signs you are dating a player

The feelings are overwhelming, but for someone who is emotionally unavailable, even acknowledging what’s going on in their mind is a difficult job.

They avoid the vulnerable moments that would otherwise create a real connection.

Whether you’re married or have dated for a short time, it can be frustrating to feel like the person you care about isn’t all-in.

If your partner isn’t meeting you halfway, there are several reasons they might be afraid of committing to you, but here I will be discussing some subtle signs to know you are dealing with a player.

1. They refuse to build a relationship over the phone

These men prefer to take you out on a date once they’ve made contact with you. They usually insist you go out for drinks to accelerate your physical comfort with them, making attaining sex easier.

A guy who is interested in getting to know you will begin with a conversation over the phone.

First impression matters. When you meet someone, they should be curious to know a few things about like your interests, plans, and hobbies.

So if he doesn’t show interest in having a mutual conversation with you before the first date, then he’s a player.

2. They refuse to show any emotional connection or vulnerability

No matter how hard you try, you can’t scratch the surface of this guy’s emotions.

Players are uncomfortable talking about their true feelings of love, pain, shame, guilt, or any other feeling that might make them appear weak and vulnerable.

People who wear their hearts on their sleeves associate emotional needs with negativity.

They have learned to ignore and deny their negative emotions and have become emotionally color blind.

If he has a protective wall around his emotions and gets angry, confused, or defensive if you try to penetrate it, you’ve got yourself a playboy.

3. They walk around your boundaries while sticking very closely to their own

Matured men have standards and respect the standards of others. However, players get their power by creating a fear of abandonment in their targets.

Once they see a woman has a high-end level of interest, they bury her down on their standards to control her actions and behavior.

Women in this relationship will have to act right to keep their attention.

Even if he’s rude, disorganized, inattentive, and sexually aggressive, he will punish you with more detachment or space if you can’t do what he says.

4. They don’t respond to call or text messages promptly (if at all)

Obsession begins with a thought. A player knows if he can make you wonder where he is, who he’s out with, or what he’s doing with them; emotions will accompany those thoughts.

This attitude will make you want to work harder to be more important to him to deserve a callback.

And women always want their call back, and to get it, you will be willing to cross your own boundaries to get his attention.

The problem is when players recognize that you are vulnerable and easily manipulated, they will take full advantage of that.

5. They downplay how attracted to you they really are

Players like to exploit a woman’s need for validation. They don’t believe in complimenting women or doing anything that builds their confidence.

They don’t show any indication of attraction even when they are extremely attracted to the women.

The purpose of this tact is to keep a woman wondering if she’s ever going to be good enough. They keep the women feeling secure by refusing to validate their beauty or values.

Players do this to shift the balance of power in their favor.

But here is the truth: if he calls or texts you, he thinks you are attractive. If he’s dating, you is because he finds you attractive. If not, he would date, DM, or approach someone else.

6. They say little things that make you question your place with them

Players find a way to chisel at a woman’s confidence in order to control her.

For instance, he may say that your personality is more attractive than your looks or make fun of your physical flaws, so you don’t feel confident about yourself.

This rejection will cause you to be more receptible to his physical advancement because he has created a need in you to be validated for your beauty.

Men know that women need to feel wanted. They also know if they strategically avoid validating a woman and give her a few light put down, she will be excited he’s showing concern for her and relieved to wait and receive his validation patiently.

7. They act hot and cold on purpose

Players act cold emotionally and hot sexually. They do this in the hope that you overcompensate by physically connecting with them.

Because you love him and have been emotionally deprived, they make you wonder where your place is in their lives.

Unfortunately, this tact always works because women often attach a feeling that they have consummated the beginning of something special after sex.

You will see the guy doesn’t show interest in you, but suddenly, one night, he couldn’t get enough of you. This is a players game.

They know women want to be gratified or validated and feel secure in new relationships. But guys like this just want women to play with.

If a guy is hot and cold emotionally and his effort doesn’t match the vibe he’s sending, don’t try to connect with him using sex. It never works!


If you notice more than half of these signs in your relationship, it’s possible you are dealing with a player. Guys do these things often because they work in making women submissive.

The best way to beat a player in his own game is to quit the relationship and move on.

Practice positive reinforcement when guys exhibit behavior you are fond of and stop having sex with men who don’t respect your values.


About author

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

Connect with me on Linkedin, Twitter, and Quora.

This article appeared here.


About the author

Jessey Anthony

Jessey is a travel addict, freelance content writer and fitness coach. Check out more from me at:

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