5 Toxic Personality Traits to Spot in Your Girlfriend

What really pisses me off in women is the double standard we have in accountability. We all hold men accountable for what they do, but when it comes to women, we don’t hold ourselves accountable for how our actions have damaged some men.

Honestly, I blame some women for the way men are because they have completely messed up some men’s perceptions of love and trust.

When he meets a good woman, he can’t fully appreciate her because he has built walls to shut every woman out in his head. He sabotages his relationship with a good woman just to avoid getting hurt again.

We have a general misconception when they think of toxic abusive women. We imagine the woman overpowering a weak, cowardly man and smirk at the idea.

The truth is most of the time, the woman can be physically or emotionally abusive. She may try to hit him with a glass, a plate, or an iron in a physically abusive relationship. If it’s emotional abuse, she could use passive aggression or manipulation to mess him up.

Toxic abuses are not easily spotted. They can be subtle and continue for years or even decades unnoticed.

A healthy relationship contributes to your self-esteem and emotional energy, while a toxic relationship damages self-esteem and drains energy.

So if you feel emotionally violated whenever you are with a certain woman, it would be wise to cut off from her. And if you do not know how to tell if she’s toxic or not, these signs will clear your confusion.

She’s an enabler

Enablers can be dangerous to live with. If she is in a relationship with someone who has an addiction, instead of helping the addict, it will allow him to continue his behavior.

In a codependent relationship, the enabler focuses on their partner’s feelings and needs, usually at her own expense.

No matter what enablers do, problems keep cropping up and reoccurring in their relationships. This is usually because the other partner is putting in little or no effort.

With time the enabler feels neglected, and resentments start to build up. Eventually, she will break down, and may say or do things that puts their partner at risk.

Changing an enabler is incredibly difficult, especially if their behavior stems from a genuine desire to love and compassion to help other people.

However, it’s imperative that you weigh the short-term pain of cutting that person off against the long-term consequences of allowing them to continue that way.

She’s possessive

Jealousy is completely normal in relationships. However, the level of jealous behavior and the reason for that jealousy makes a difference.

It’s one thing if your partner gets jealous when someone openly hits on you in front of them and you flirt back, but it’s another story if they freak out when a random person on your friends list likes a photo of you shirtless.

These toxic individuals will become more and more suspicious and controlling as time goes on.

They’ll check the odometer in your car to make sure you haven’t gone somewhere you “shouldn’t,” or they’ll interrogate you if you have to stay late at work. They will make your life miserable.

Your efforts to reassure a toxic possessive woman about your loyalty and commitment to her will be in vain. If you stay in a relationship with such an individual, you will cease to have a life of your own.

She’s judgmental

There’s a difference between harmless jokes and outright humiliation.

If your partner makes a habit of putting you down in public and in private, then tells you that you are too sensitive when confronted, he is emotionally abusing you.

And if your partner often tells you that your opinions, feelings, and thoughts are wrong, you should know that’s not normal, healthy behavior. It’s insulting and you don’t have to put up with it.

She’s controlling

This type of toxic individual will constantly belittle you. She will make fun of you, essentially implying that pretty much anything you say that expresses your ideas, beliefs, or wants is silly or stupid.

A toxic woman will not hesitate to belittle you in public, in front of your friends or family. She will try to make an insult into a joke.

She will want all the decision-making power. Unfortunately, if you tolerate this deprecating behavior long enough, you very well may begin to believe you can’t make good decisions.

This type of toxic manipulator will often tell you that you’re lucky to have them as a partner, that no other woman would really want you.

Her goal is to keep your self-esteem as low as possible so that you don’t challenge her absolute control of the relationship.

She’s insecure

There’s nothing worse than dating a woman with low self-esteem. She will always find a way to turn herself into a victim if she does something wrong.

She will feel threatened or insecure about your hobbies and interests. She might create drama whenever you choose to do something that doesn’t include her.

She may implicitly or explicitly say you can’t hang out with a particular friend or visit a particular place.

Emotional abusers are extremely moody and will blame it on you.

While its true that everyone has bad days, there is no excuse for your partner to be consistently moody and then blame it on you.

Parting words

Some people can’t be pleased, and some people won’t be right for you — and often, this has nothing to do with you.

You can always say no to unnecessary madness. Be confident and own your own flaws, quirks, and the things that make you shine.

---

About author

Jessey Anthony is a motivational speaker, fitness coach and relationship expert who helps people become confident in themselves in any challenges they face in life. Sign up to my newsletter & more cool stuff.

Connect with me on Linkedin, Twitter, and Quora.

This article appeared here.