Plattsburgh Knows How to Tailgate

My limited tailgating experience as a Plattsburgh grad has mostly been relegated to showing up and subsisting on the efforts of others. But add a minor past to a browser, and I’m an expert.

It turns out, the real pros hail from the college ranks. Putting a lifetime of student loan debt to good use, the kids tell us that delegation separates the men from those who miss the exit for Met Life Stadium.

In my group, Steve fires off the warning emails. Unfortunately, his larger efforts are in pursuit of a party that likely won’t cushion another season where the Jets don’t raise the trophy. “Rich, just get here and I don’t want you complaining that you’re cold,” Steve starts the initiative.

He knows his team.

But aside from quarterbacking the operation, he’ll take the lead responsibility – beer. The experts say calculate the most you could possibly drink and add a six pack. After all, this is about community and adding to the core.

Line one cooler with dry ice and include four ten pound bags of the regular stuff. So keeping the ice on ice, the chill distributes the excess among your coolers as needed, and beverages will remain ready throughout.

On tap, a $20 mini Heineken keg amounts to $2 a pint and gives your locale some class. A $100 Keg Koozie let’s you go large scale and remains economical when ice is factored out across a season.

Drinkables accounted for, Steve hands off the Grill work to Matt. Monday night begins his duties as the flank steaks should be zip locked away to marinate until Wednesday. A deep freeze applies through Saturday night, and they’ll still be cold and fresh by game time.

Grill master Matt should then precook the hamburgers and stow with the steak in between wax paper. Grilling at 350 degrees won’t burn the burgers or under cook the dogs either.

Up to the task, $40 buys a propane grill or maybe you want to go on the cheap. Haul a grate, drape over cinderblocks and simmering charcoal will return plenty of burn.

Minus the flame, cold cuts preserved in a cooler filled with frozen water bottles keeps the carnivores from complaining about waterlogged meats, and serves as drinking water when dehydration sets in. The packager should also avoid deep containers since the center doesn’t remain as cold.

On the other hand, the suggestion of providing antacids sounded a little wimpy at first, but then I remembered the Sunday that Matt threw up on his pants.

This gives way to the importance of having single friends among the revelry. Meaning, Matt simply told his wife that I unloaded on him, and since I have no one to answer to, I gladly took one for the team.

My contribution secure, Johnny optioned long ago as activity director. A football obvious, beanbag toss is the current rage. You’re kidding right?

How about a chipping wedge, a mat and a bucket to sink real golf balls? That will make a few friends and don’t leave out the lefties, which means I’ve only been able to appreciate but not participate.

The approach made, Steve has Johnny to plant the flag. Ideally, pitching the tent at the end of a parking row affords the most room and arriving early helps avoid the conflict that can occur over hollowed ground.

Getting the same spot also helps create allegiance among familiar faces, while the Tailgate Scout App can hone everyone to the new spot if the old can't be secured.

Either way, spread canvas over PVC pipes, and you’ll have something that lasts beyond this season and runs much cheaper than buying a canopy.

However, Reggie won’t run for cover or pass on providing the App and TV connections to stay up on the scores. The Fox Sports Mobil App keeps the updates on your fingers tips and provides a link to Fox Sports Radio.

If scoreboard watching doesn’t do, the Tailgater Portable Satellite TV System from Dish NFL puts you at every game and maybe requires a separate position just to hold the remote.

Of course, Reggie needs to get there early or suffer the consequences of not spying to the satellite by pre-game. Under Reggie’s directive, Noose draws the music appreciation duties. The Pandora Radio App means you won’t have to boom your car radio, while giving the Giants fans on hand a little cover among the futile aspirations of their Jets’ brethren.

Like my team, my actions speak for me so bringing the extra toilet paper is no bother. However, I draw the line at hauling a Teepee Portable Restroom/Shower by Paha Que, but the set up sounds like a pretty good idea.

Leadership, though, hopefully can forge an individual commitment to the Last Call App. The technology lets you log your alcohol consumption. Approximating Blood Alcohol Content, you’ll know when its safe to leave.

Finally, if MetroNorth connects you to the Jersey bound bus, make sure you know the time and location of the last bus back. Failing that, you’ll need a Johnny to talk your way into a random car packed with a family of four. You know, so as not to freeze to death. True story.

That should cover it.

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