To Meghan, Duchess of Sussex

Many years ago, before either you or your husband were born, I joined the British Army and served as an officer in the same regiment as Prince William and the Duke of Sussex. Having spent four years on the margins of that social set, I believe every word you have said about their bigotry and rudeness. They are courtiers and exclusive access to royalty is often their only capital, so they have become very practiced at repulsing newcomers. Children don´t grow up making spiteful, racist remarks, such as were directed at you, rather this is the product of a culture which holds all “others” in contempt.

Anyone with an ounce of integrity can see that the tabloid press treated you badly, indeed seventy-two female Members of Parliament signed an open letter, condemning this poisonous, pseudo-journalism. The text of that letter can be found here.

We saw you cooking with the survivors of the Grenfell Tower disaster, almost all of whom are black, Asian or minority ethnic women. We hoped that this solidarity would encourage you to resist, to stand up to the ingrained, institutional racism prevalent in Britain, to be a figurehead for progressive ideas of humanity and decency.

You are no revolutionary ma´am but I would like to recommend this video to you;

Professor Davis, who knows a lot about answering back, showed us here how to do it. Pressured by a white, male interviewer to make a definitive yes/no statement about her own potential for violence, Ms Davis chose to speak about a violent society, about the violence done to her and her people. It is vital that we deny our opponents their agenda, that we choose our ground and our time before starting to fight back. And fight back we must.

Realistically, what did you expect when you married a royal prince? Kardashians with a Crown? Did you not realise that you were auditioning for a part in a real game of thrones? Make no mistake, whatever Her Majesty might want us to believe, the monarchy is a political institution. If nothing else, only the Queen can create Royal Dukes and Duchesses. There are thousands, perhaps millions, of people out there, who would cut their best friend´s throat to get such a title. That is power.

Anger, frustration and resentment are natural reactions to the experience of discrimination, especially when the oppressor is powerful and therefore safe against our rage. Depression can result if these negative emotions are not expressed, the anger turning inwards and onto ourselves, but we owe it to those struggling alongside us to muster the emotional discipline not to give room to such thoughts.

You are a public figure ma´am, whether you like it or not, and what you say and do will be an example for millions.

There is a current meme, that thoughts of suicide or self-harm might be a typical, normal reaction to oppression, that such thoughts are to be expected. This is a toxic assault on all minorities and progressives, on all who resist abuses of power. The people whom you have angered with your criticism, do in fact wish us dead, would be delighted if we did the deed ourselves. We must deny them the satisfaction of thinking they have nearly succeeded in our destruction.

If in future the pressures inherent in a life in the public eye should lead you to think of self-harm or even self-destruction, I ask you to keep these thoughts to yourself, sharing only with your friends, family and possible therapists. It would be better to develop the habit of speaking up before things get that far; the solidarity of those struggling with you will be helpful in this. You should in any case be very wary of disclosing the details of your emotional life for public entertainment; the “media” is an impersonal, merciless construction, which will tear you apart, if you continue to play the game in this way.

I should probably sign this letter with “Your humble servant” or some such, but I am neither especially humble nor your servant. Please be assured of my respect and solidarity, despite this criticism of your recent announcements.

Och aye, lassie, with love from Jonathan Tanburn