The Avocado Theory

A wise man once said to me “If I like avocados and you don’t then you’re a racist”. It may sound strange at first but let me explain why he’s right, and why that might be a problem.

We were having a discussion about racism and we wandered off the beaten track onto what racism actually is. What do people define as racism today? We talk a lot about racism but what exactly are we talking about? How do we solve a problem we haven’t defined? You hear a lot of people ask if racism is over, or not really that bad anymore, is it really a surprise when we have our own personal idea of what racism is? Can white people experience racism? For some that’s an obvious yes, for others it’s just as obvious a no.

As two black men from different generations we have very different experiences of racism, so why wouldn’t we have different definitions for it. What could seem like an unforgivable act to me may seem worthy of a slap on the wrist to him or vice versa. So, when I asked him what is racism? He replied:

“If I like avocados and you don’t then you’re a racist. If you say you don’t like black people, you’re a racist, that’s how the world sees it today but by that thinking most of the world is racist. You know how many people I know who have something to say about some other group of people, everybody has something to say when they feel like it. That's not really racism but the world acts like it is.”

While my first instinct was, well if you’re saying you don’t like black people then yeah, you’re racist! Surely that’s a pretty clear definition. But as we talked I realized there was a deeper point being made. Who cares what someone likes?

As someone who doesn’t like mayonnaise, I am pretty much the butt of the joke for every sandwich maker in the world. I am mocked by friends and family, a culinary leper, an outcast of social dining. I exaggerate of course (slightly) but imagine if you can, for a moment, being in that position. Where what you like or don’t like is so at odds with the rest of the world you become divorced from the mainstream.

Stick with me now, here's where it gets 'interesting'. I don’t hate mayonnaise, I don’t want all mayonnaise gone, I just don’t particularly care for it. There may be a type of mayonnaise out there that I do like, maybe when it’s infused with jalapeno peppers, maybe, but I’m not looking to find out. Maybe I had a bad experience with mayonnaise, maybe I just don’t like it and would prefer not to be around it but it's everywhere. Swap mayonnaise for black people (or any prefered ethnicity) and this will sound all too familiar to some. And it did to the wise old man and also myself.

The argument can then become that you can’t compare a person with a condiment, that’s crazy talk. Does it really matter though? His point was there are plenty of people who don’t like something and it can be anything, kids, pets, modern art, it doesn’t matter. When you look past the subject of their feelings and look at the feelings themselves you see not only the person but yourself. I have those feelings myself just about something that society is (slightly) less offended about, mayonnaise. What we’re doing with those people is no different than saying if I like avocados and you don’t, you’re a racist. To be clear this isn’t about defending racists, I say this only to highlight the point that we need to identify the real issue with racism. People need to be able to not like avocados and feel ok about it. I'm saying it should be ignored, it should be challenged and questioned and probed, but it should be ok to do it publicly. You can't go throwing avocados at people, or not hiring people who do like avocados, but you can allow people space to expose their true feelings without fear of punishment.

I don't know if I can define racism but I think I can define where it comes from it's “my kid is better than your kid, I’ll make sure of it”. Now ‘my kid is better than your kid is the most natural thought in the world, nobody would begrudge a parent that. We all want the best for our own. When it comes down to it every parent wants their kid to make the team ahead of yours, get the job ahead of yours, some want them to deserve it but plenty want it anyway, and here lies the problem. Racism can be seen as a natural evolution of this.

My kid is better than yours…

My family is better than yours…

My school…

My town…

My country…

My race is better than yours!

I’m not a parent but I understand what it is to fear for your children, for their future. Fear is the mind-killer as they say and there is no greater example of that than racism. So, while I can’t argue with fear, I can argue with what someone does with it. I can argue when they decide even if their kid isn’t better than mine that they should still make the team. They have a word with the coach and remind him of the good old days when they were kids, they tell them that my kid doesn’t deserve a place in the team because they’re different, they suggest formations and tactics that take away their opportunities, tell their kid and their friends to keep away from my kid.

When they don’t raise their child to the challenge but raise the challenges for my child. That’s the racism that worries me. It’s messy and complicated and probably requires a hundred different solutions at a time but it is the challenge we face, one we must rise to together. I think I’m an optimist but I can’t imagine a world without enemies… or a world without enemies who become friends.

P.S

Turns out I love potato salad, I know, who would have guessed!