Tariff Fever!

What a great moment to be alive, folks!

As of today, the US has imposed 50% tariffs on the goods my fair nation produces...and I'm in for the ride.

Now, that might sound odd to those of you south of the 49th parallel (and even to some close at home). But let's face some facts here: the economy is in a bad state; people are fearful about work and employment stability; food prices were already up; gas prices were following suit; no one knows what to do with that whole generation gap from Millennials to Generation Alpha (or is that Zeta?) In short, we needed this.

We have ourselves a war!

Now, nobody likes to admit it, but wars are good for certain things. And this one won't even be that violent. The main issues in this fight come down to three old bugbears: dairy, lumber and alcohol. There has, of course, been some talk about the Keystone pipeline, but that is a distraction as an abstraction. You can't focus on an object that does does not play a role in your life. I know that some people worry about the cost of gas (Strait of Hormuz your way out of that one, folks!) And I know we need hockey sticks and baseball bats (fiberglass and aluminum substitutes don't always meet the mark). I'm looking at dairy and alcohol as the real foot soldiers in this fight.

It is still August. It is still summer. We want to go out, take a walk, visit a fair, and enjoy an ice cream or three, maybe even some frozen yogurt for the masochists among you. It is unfair to touch these wonderful snacks and to make your date, spouse, parental unit or child go without. I pity them and the dairy farmers who are caught in the middle of this.

And let's turn to booze and the machinations of one of my new heroes, Doug Ford. Yes, he is the premier of Ontario (oh, for those who need a definition: a premier is like a senator, except he eventually has to leave the job). Yes, he did order American booze to be pulled from the shelves. And yes, he said he would do it again. Many in the US government call this a "sore point" in the trade deal (glad to see they have their priorities straight) and can't understand why this is happening. Well, people here are not as stupid as Vance, Hoekstra, Nutlick (sorry, Buttlick; sorry, Lutnick) and others seem to think the average supporter of their Dear Leader seems to be. 51st-State us all you want; call our prime minister a "senator" (ugh, that ugly word again). We haven't forgotten. And we will not play nice. The shelves could be filled with Jack Daniel's and Budweiser, and the average consumer still won't touch it. And you'd better all learn the name Wab Kinew very soon!

Hey, that sounds like we started the trade war a little earlier than our heads of state! We knew what this fight was all about. You simply cannot give a bully one thing and expect them not to demand more later. It won't end without a fight.

Wow, that was fun to write! I admit that I'm still waiting on some money to come in next week with the teaching, but I have to scrimp and save my loonies (Canadian one-dollar coins - aren't we an amusing race?). Hunger comes fast, but respect goes even faster.

I'm ready for this fight.

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You can find more poems, stories, and articles by Kendall Defoe on my Vocal profile. I complain, argue, provoke and create...just like everybody else.

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