Sleepless Ramblings

It's a cold Tuesday night and I can't sleep. Partially because the T.V. and light are on, but largely those facts just mask the racing in my head. Not manic racing more like stressed out cataloguing racing. I watched TV all day and responded to emails. I have money woes because I am American and not the Jeff Bezos variety. Naturally I worry about my kids and the state of the universe, and my husband snoring.

I have been writing and creating everyday, but somehow the more I expend the less I appreciate my creations. Makes sense because the only math I really excel at are ratios. I probably have 10 projects in the works and a few side jobs that make me almost no money. I keep thinking that if I just keep pushing I will manage to work it all out.

I just watched the Amazon commercial with the list of all the meals and helpful things they have done. I thought to myself that there is no difference between Amazon and Walmart. Less people would suffer, and need handouts if they would just pay a living wage. Amazon has 798,000 employees in the United States Wal-Mart has 2.1 million employees. It's 2 a.m. so I don't clearly remember the actual numbers. I think Amazon says they gave out over 12 million meals. Which is essentially All Amazon and Wal-Mart employees getting 3 meals for 1 day. Instead utilizing tax loopholes with good deeds, Jeff Bezos could just pay his employees a living wage. If the goal was to actually help people, that's what they would do.

I just saw a headline that North Korea tried to hack Pfizer to make vaccines. Again they wouldn't need to hack if we shared just that. How will we solve the pandemic if we are not broadly and equally applying methods to control the virus. The WHO has already been concerned that wealthy countries bought up the majority of vaccines one story on NPR said that Canada had secured 5 times the number of vaccines that they needed, so that when one was ready they could acquire and distribute it. South Africa was manufacturing the vaccine but didn't actually have any secured when I listened to the story. We don't get to decide what entire ethnic groups, or nations live or die based on money. I mean obviously we do…. But it doesn't make it right.

I really love my dog. He is a tiny and cute, chihuahua, and stares at me with the deepest adoration all day long. I like it when he stretches vertically against the edge of my pillow. I rub his belly and he falls asleep. He can be annoying, but only because he loves me too much. Eggo always wants to be in my lap, or held like an actual baby. I just love that little dog. No one gets to see that much of his good side, as he is a terror to other people.

I just wanted to throw that out there because I don't hate everything. There are likable things directly in my life. I do have a lot of things that annoy me though. I can let complaints just slide from my mouth. The thing is I don't actually mean them the way that other people take them. I acknowledge peoples flaws. Its supposed to indicate that I may see that your kind of an asshole, but an asshole its wok sticking things through with. Or a restaurant might have great chicken but bad chef salad. I have to acknowledge the bad salad even if I otherwise like the restaurant.

Something that isn't the case though. I would say ICP, peanuts, that Blake Shelton song where he sings “Chew tobacco, Chew tobacco, Chew Tobacco spit.” Who wants to hear about that?? Speaking of country music, I listened to that song that says “Mamas in the graveyard, papas in the pen” and I had my kids in the car. (my son has decided he likes country and I am tolerating) and the song starts on the radio. I knew it from when I was younger so I turned it up . Then I turned it off. The kids is singing about their mother being murdered for extramarital sex by their father, but not in any kind of self reflective way. It's just a fact. Like the Blake Shelton song.

Getting all these random thoughts out of my head has really helped. Now I have given them to other people, whose fingers crossed read them and also want to go curl up in a blanket.

Last thoughts:

Texas isn't out of power because of wind power, Wyoming and Sweden have wind power, don't be an idiot. Texas has no power because Texas is never supposed to spend this much time below freezing. Nothing about their grid or infrastructure is designed to withstand these circumstances. Instead of squallbing and jabbing at each other, maybe we need to address climate change.

Speaking of climate change I think that a drive through coffee shop should invent a quick wash so that we can use our reusable mugs again. Let's work this out. I can't stop getting coffee to go. That takes some forethought on my part, and I think you can see where my head is at. I also don't own a thermos of my own. I mean I only just got a car that my phone connects to through bluetooth.

This is word number 923. I am so close to 1000! My eyes are so heavy now, and ready for me to sleep. I hope that at least someone takes the time to read this and ponder these things with me. Maybe we can gather collective consciousness and discuss that Amazon and Walmart use charity to skirt paying a living wage. Have to be you 4 hours and ahve13 words to write. Remember its not wind turbines, its climate change. Good Night.