On Cow Farts and Congress

Like so many of us, I start off the day by reading the news about all the nonsense going on in Washington. It seems like so much it centers around some youngster who goes by the initials "AOC." With her crazy plans to do everything from cutting out private insurance to stopping cows from cutting the cheese, it seems she wants to give us all a big dose of "Cortezone". Now, if you're not familiar with this young Representative—who is said to be the new leader of the liberals—you can always Google her name.

By the way, did you know that, if you change the last two letters of that search engine's name, you have a "googol"?  If you're not familiar with the term (and, if you want, you can look it up), it means one followed by a hundred zeros. Which could easily describe AOC and her closest followers.

A minute ago, I mentioned about her desire to stop cows from farting.  Can you imagine the scenario if she succeeded?  Farmer Brown asks his son, Zeke, to go out and check on the family bovine.  He comes back and says she's gotten real fat and her knees were knocking.  He says she's cross-eyed and trembles when she walks. His dad knows it's due to recent legislation forbidding the cows from passing gas. "She's bound to blow at any time, so ya better take cover!"

About an hour later, they all hear a tremendous blast, like a humongous air-horn! Though he'd been sleeping in the back room, Grandpa Luke suddenly runs into the kitchen, wide-eyed and scared to death. "THE LORD'S COMIN' BACK!  GABRIEL'S DONE BLOWN HIS HORN!! GATHER UP THE KIDS AND..."

"Grandpa," Zeke laughs, "that's just old Bossy lettin' out a fart she's been holdin'."

"But... but where IS she?"  

"Awww, that blast was so hard it blew her across the back yard and into the barn wall!"

A couple of hours later, after the terrible odor clears, Zeke, his dad and grandpa go out to the barn, expecting to see pieces of Bossy scattered across her flight zone and to the point of impact. Instead, they find her laying on her side, breathing easily, a lot thinner—and with a big smile of relief across her muzzle.  

By the way: How did this "AOC" intend to stop it, anyway? Run out into the pastures, lift their tails and push corks up their butts? 

Hey... I've got an idea: since these illegal immigrants are all gung-ho about coming into this country, why not put them to work by corking the cows? Man, after a week or so, they'll be begging to get back across the border!  

Especially if they tried to cork a bull!

But I digress. You see, there's something that these two political parties are missing here. Yes, both seem bound and determined to make us feel like we're doomed without their “far-reaching changes”.

Are we? We can find out by answering a few questions: Did you wake up this morning, get out of bed, fix your coffee, wash up and get dressed, then head on to your daily errands?

If you go to work, do you handle it well and get paid at the end of your pay period? That said, then how long have you been doing all this?

Some of you may laugh and say “for decades now” or “as long as I can remember.” But, as you shake your heads at these silly questions, ask yourself how really important these “far-reaching changes” are to our everyday life.

You see, there's an old saying that goes, “If it ain't broke, don't fix it.” In other words, if we've been doing the same things successfully for years and been happy with them, then why in the world would anybody want to change them?

It's pretty obvious that Washington has enough problems of their own without pushing us to change what isn't broken. But, there again, wouldn't that put the country back into our hands—you know, where America will once again be “of the people, for the people and by the people”?

Hey—it's worked pretty darn good for decades now. So, why mess up a good thing? Take a hint from a song by the legendary Elvis Presley:

“Clean Up Your Own Backyard."