The Swamp logo

Mastigia.

by Marc Peraino 6 months ago in satire · updated 6 months ago
Report Story

A Message from Juno: Goddess of the State & Queen of the Gods.

"Hera" by Eduard Niczky

Fungi!

Nebulo!

Sceleris plenissimi!

These are but a few Latin words that I feel best express the deep and ever-growing outrage that I, Iuno, Regina Deorum, feel for the current state of American politics and the plight of the American people. The Senate promises democracy while simultaneously disenfranchising the People by exchanging representation for money from corporations. Did I get that right? And while there are plenty of individual politicians I could read to filth, it is your bicameral system, this Democrat vs. Republican thing that you have, that I most detest. I have a special message for each party. And let me be clear from the very beginning: both of them reek like Roman toilets.

To the GOP:

Adversus solem ne loquitor.

I have taken the liberty of severing the energetic cord between your words as a party and the emotional and mental state of the American public. Your words will gradually lose all meaning and relevance to the voting public. Where once you could spin grandiose conspiracies that could sway your constituents, you will be laughed at and pitied for your pathetic stories of non-existent threats. You have cried wolf far too many times and for far too long and I am angry, angry on behalf of the People. Jadedness and irrelevance are your reward for abusing the minds and hearts of the American public. The People will reject your fears, real or fake. You have nothing but misery to offer those already miserable. You have nothing but fear for a society desperately in need of hope. You are negligent abusers of your own people's psyches; even their bodies are endangered by you. Your only salvation is through the fires of Hades, but don't worry; Hades is in the Bible.

To the Democratic Party:

Asinus asinum fricat.

Get off your old, decrepit ass, right now.

Yes, I'm talking to you, O "Woke" Democratic Party. If you don't move your asses in favor of the public right now, you will become just as much a threat to democracy as you claim the Republican Party to be. I swear to Jove, if you continue to rest on your dead laurels and take the lazy and entitled route in future elections, you will endanger the American People just as much as your President did on January 6th, 2021. You claim to be so much better than that wannabe coup d'état artist and yet you barely have shit to show for it. Where is the justice? Where is the accountability? Where are the People's rights to live in freedom and the pursuit of happiness? You've left your People to the wolves of insatiable greed, to flounder in slipshod legislation passed by reckless governors and senators with only ONE thing on their minds: personal power. The Republican Party understands that it feels good to solve problems, especially when those problems don't really exist. You, O Democrats, on the other hand, barely lift a finger to solve the problems that do exist. Oh, did Kyrsten Sinema get in the way? Find another way, legirupa! Your reluctance to go hard on the issues that matter to the majority of your People makes you even more despicable than your other half.

In closing, I urge the People of America to push until your voices are heard. Push against the oligarchs, the wannabe autocrats, the conspiracists, the Kyrsten Sinemas, and these apathetic politicians. Push until your representatives are forced to do their goddamn jobs and represent you and your livelihoods for the betterment of every citizen. You have the power, O People. You have always had the power.

Pax vobiscum.

satire

About the author

Marc Peraino

Short fiction and poetry author in Honolulu, Hawaii.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2022 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.