Lessons From 2020

Memoir of My Lessons Learned from 2020

By Dejaye Botkin, LPC

After doing a deep dive into reading and educating myself about politics and government, this is my take.

After President Bush started the Iraq War, and France did not want to get involved, many Americans started protesting French fries and French wine. Admittedly, I was not interested in politics at the time or very educated about spin and political manipulation (i.e., propaganda). However, I did know that protesting the fries and wine stunt was meant to coerce Americans into thinking America is right, and France is wrong. I knew at the time; it made American’s look rather stupid. After the protesting of Kaepernick’s kneeling, I felt the same way. That many Americans were fighting on the wrong side and not trying to understand why Kaepernick was risking his career over his values. Finally, the straw for me has been the whole Trump sham. At one point, Trump said, “I could shoot someone on 5th Avenue, and my supporters will still support me.” He also said, “I love the uneducated!” Implying that people who are less educated are more likely to believe his bullshit. If you read Michael Cohen’s book, Disloyal 2020, Chapter Ten describes in detail how Trump shamelessly and intentionally asked Michael Cohen to fix his CNBC online poll ranking. When Trump claims voter fraud, he is confident it exists because he participates in it himself! Finally, in Ivana Trump’s book, Raising Trump 2017, in Chapter Six, page 63, Ivana suggests they name their first son after his father. This is the conversation:

“Donald said, “What should we name him?” “Donald Junior,” I said. “You can’t do that!” “Why not?” “What if he is a loser?”

This conversation sums up Donald Trump’s entire personality. On the day Donald and Ivana Trump’s first-born child came into the world, Donald already thought this newborn infant might be a loser.

Notes:

“The boycott was a result of France’s opposition to the war in Iraq in 2003. Anti-French feeling at the time was running high, and many media outlets, including the New York Times, reported on the rejection of French products – most famously with the cafeteria in the US House of Representatives renaming their French Fries as Freedom Fries.” Wiki

“I am not going to stand up to show pride in a flag for a country that oppresses Black people and people of color,” he told NFL Media in an interview after the game. “To me, this is bigger than football, and it would be selfish on my part to look the other way. There are bodies in the street and people getting paid leave and getting away with murder.” USA Today

“I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody, and I wouldn’t lose voters.” NY Post

The sad fact is that in many countries run by dictators, the only news their citizens hear is that which the government wants them to hear. There is no opposing story. Anyone seeking a contrasting story is threatened or punished. However, in America, we are fortunate to have the choice of listening to information collected by scholars, scientists, and historians, or government spun propaganda. Yet, the alt-right movement does not want to hear any opposing arguments. They use bullying words like “snowflake” or “radical-liberal” to describe half of Americans who question authority and share their points of view. Some alt-right speakers even suggest that challenging Trump’s agenda is anti-Christian behavior. (Even though the man is the farthest thing from Christian). Also, the idea that all liberals are not Christian is insulting to me. As much as it pains me, I listen to both sides. I watch CNN and Fox News back and forth to learn about each perspective. However, Trumpilcans and sycophants suggest that listening to the opposing side is a betrayal of some kind. We all know the alt-right movement hated President Obama, and he was not a fan of Fox News. However, he never suggested American’s should not listen to all sides and come to their own conclusions; his only plea has ever been to educate yourself so that you speak in facts versus spin.

My assessment of the Pros and Cons of Trump’s Presidency:

Pros:

He initiated enthusiasm for American politics and government interests that many Americans disregarded in the past.

He made me personally more curious about American History and created my passion for Social Justice

Cons:

He placed economic greed over the future of our planet

He turned Americans against each other and initiated a cold civil war

He participated in American deaths by not taking the pandemic seriously

He participated in American deaths by not condemning white supremacy and encouraging police brutality

He participated in American deaths by encouraging conspiracy theories

He taught Americans it is acceptable behavior to name-call and bully other people

He encouraged white Americans to fear diversity in their suburban neighborhoods

He taught Americans if you can’t win legitimately, it’s okay to win through bribery and blackmail

He taught Americans that being a sore loser is acceptable behavior and if you can’t win, it’s okay to cheat

He allowed other world leaders to take advantage of American ignorance

He allowed the rich to become richer while shaming low-income families for not keeping up with him

He made lying and hypocrisy Trumpian values

He made cheating on taxes and lying about your income for personal and business loans acceptable behavior for the rich

He taught Americans, “If they come for you, spin the story to get them of your trail.”

He made corrupt lawyers very rich and encouraged Americans to litigate what you do not win

He used evangelicals to promote his win by pretending to care about abortion and LGBTQ issues

He reinforced the fact that money buys you status, success, and power and can be the root of all evil

He allowed his ego to run the country

*He encouraged nationalism over globalism, urging Americans to fear non-white people

*Nationalism is like living in a neighborhood where you only care about your house, your yard, and your family. You judge and bully your neighbors and make fun of their differences. Your neighbors are not only irrelevant to your considerations; they may be perceived as threatening. You keep all of your goods to yourself and never consider sharing or bartering with your neighbors. Finally, if your neighborhood is on fire, you only worry about your own home and your own family’s safety.

Globalsm is like living in a neighborhood where everyone respects the right to interact freely. You don’t fear what people look like or who they pray to. You are allowed to practice your own cultures and traditions on your property, and you are welcome to cross over to another neighbor’s property to say hello or stop in for a visit. You don’t fear your neighbor tearing down your signs or decorations because they oppose your views. You can ask your neighbor for help with your car battery or a cup of milk. You may bring your sick neighbor a casserole. You welcome new neighbors! Best of all, if the neighborhood is on fire, you help each other escape together.

Part II

Tell me what the hell do you know? What do you know? Tell me how the hell could you know? How could you know? Til it happens to you, you don’t know how it feels. Til it happens to you, you won’t know, it won’t be real. Lady Gaga

Do you ever notice that people are quick to judge? For many alt-right conservatives, until their son or daughter announces they are gay or transgender, they judge. Until their child marries a person of a different race or religion, they judge. Until their child is sexually assaulted and consequently impregnated, they judge. Here is the bottom line, as Lady Gaga sings, “Until it happens to you, you don’t know how it feels.” So, here is my take: shut the fuck up and stop judging.

If we truly want to be the land of the free and the home of the brave, we need to make some serious changes. They are my hopes for our country.

Politics – I wish we could prosecute corruption at every level and remove the safeguard of not indicting a sitting President. I wish we could review each pardon with the supreme court before being granted so that the President’s unchecked and biased power is removed from pardon power. I wish both republicans and democrats would learn how to work together for the country’s sake and stop trying to WIN or make policy to please their donors or secure reelection. I wish politicians would stop lying to American citizens to influence our votes. I wish there were more than two main parties and independents had more of an opportunity to win. I wish politicians and educators would be honest about American History and stop trying to suppress the truth about genocide and slavery. I wish conservatives were more empathetic to disenfranchised populations and understood that they did not have the same advantages as wealthy white men had to get ahead in this country. I wish privileged male politicians would admit they have an unfair advantage and stop fearing their advantage will be overthrown by women or people of color. I wish we could get money out of politics, and politicians would be elected based on their work experience and social service – not wealth, party loyalty, or bribery. I wish the President would be elected for 6-8 years (one longer-term), so he/she does not spend the first four years focusing on reelection instead of the job, and prior to inauguration, complete an American History course taught by scholars and historians.

Police – My wish is that Americans would understand that ‘defund the police’ does not mean abolish police departments altogether. It means remove bad cops with huge egos and reallocate funds from weapons to education. It means encourage police officers to ‘protect and serve,’ not intimidate, threaten or kill. If an officer has the true intention to protect and serve without ego, then they will welcome education, cultural awareness, and community integration. We also have to be aware that the blue wall of silence is a real problem. Cops are threatened and ostracized when they report other bad cops – this allows the bad cops to hide behind the blue wall. Finally, let’s replace real bullets with rubber bullets so that we can stop criminals, not kill them. Regarding guns, if there were fewer guns on the streets, cops would not feel as fearful about getting shot themselves.

Military – My hope is that one day we would never need a military because all countries would be able to get along with each other, and there would be no threat of war. (This gets back to globalism). However, as long as greed, narcissism, and ego are involved, war will always remain a possibility. Since my hope for peace on earth is not realistic, my wish is that new recruits would be required to complete two years of college before enlisting. The military commanders want to make obedient soldiers out of young, naïve human beings; however, many young recruits do not anticipate the psychological damage that will ensue after combat. Even veterans who joined the service with a warrior mentality admit they were able to tolerate the physical pain of combat, but the emotional/psychological pain was not expected and has caused the most damage after discharge. The more educated the servicemen and women are, the more likely they will default to strategic diplomacy over aggression.

Healthcare – I want every American resident (citizen or other) to have equal access to quality and affordable healthcare by skilled Physicians. I wish there was a significant scholarship incentive program for healthcare lifestyle choices. For example, the healthier you choose to live, the less your insurance will cost (measured by free physicals every year). Conversely, if you choose to eat junk food and smoke cigarettes, you will be obligated to pay for extra healthcare costs and higher insurance. (Just like car insurance, the more accidents you have, the higher your rates). I wish affluent residents would not be allowed to buy “better/faster” healthcare services. I wish all treatment options Western and Eastern medicines were covered by insurance, and pre-authorizations for medically necessary treatments were not required. I wish insurance benefits did not run out in the middle of treatment, and insurance companies do not make decisions about patient healthcare needs. Finally, I wish medical providers of all genres would put the best interest of their patients over their own economic advantages. Too many healthcare providers and pharmaceutical companies value profit over patient.

Education – As Malala Yousafzai says, “One child, one teacher, one pen, and one book can change the world.” She also says, “I truly believe the only way we can create global peace is through educating our minds, hearts, and souls.” I wish every human being had equal access to an education that enlisted positive, enthusiastic teachers passionate about learning and character education. I wish careers for teachers were earned based on performance, dissolving tenure. I wish every student had equal access to school supplies and technology both at home and in the school building. I wish every child could have an IEP (individual education program), so educators can customize educational programs to a child’s strengths, not forcing students into a cookie-cutter curriculum. I also wish schools mandated workshops for parents on nights/weekends so that parents could keep up with their child’s education. (The parents would be given financial incentives for attending). I wish the quality of one’s education was not based on income and zip code. Let’s face it - wealthy children have better environments, better teachers, and high-quality supplies. Disenfranchised students attend school in moldy buildings, and their teachers spend more time disciplining children than teaching them. I wish schools were not in competition with one another over test scores and we would meet the needs of children as they are, not as we want them to be. I wish teachers and administrators were more diverse and were allowed to share their culture and traditions with their students. I wish affluent people were forbidden to buy their kids admission to college either through scamming the system or buying libraries. I wish the expectation of alumni admissions were discontinued. I wish black and brown and low-income students didn’t have to work twice as hard as a white student to stand out in school. I wish classes were more entertaining, and children understood why the subjects they were learning are important. I wish we could bring back trade-related classes into public schools. Finally, I wish standardized tests and SAT’s were not focused primarily on Math and English courses and allow for a broader assessment of knowledge. Community colleges need to be free as an extension of high school for students who elect to continue their education after high school graduation. All high schools should have a semester-long career counseling class as part of their curriculum.

The Media - I wish all media outlets were non-biased and non-political. I wish we could take advertising out of the media to avoid conflicts of interest. I wish the focus of the ‘news’ were information sharing. I wish the media would only report on fact-checked stories screened by a team of non-political high-level educators, historians, and scientists. I believe that if pundits, journalists, guests, and anchors were held personally liable for spreading uncorroborated/unverified or false stories that incite division, hate, corruption, and/or violence, they would refuse to report such stories. (Like Shepard Smith, for example). I wish journalists and pundits valued the truth over alliances, ratings, and ego. (Again, like Shepard Smith).

Guns – Conservatives are terrified people will take their guns away. If you use guns for hunting to eat, no one cares! Hunting has been part of human survival since the dawn of time. I wish there was a ban on military weapons on American streets and in homes. I wish more conservatives valued exotic animals and did not kill living things for the sport. My wish is that people will stop using guns as a false sense of protection from hate. If a person has the intention to commit a violent act, they will find a way to do it regardless of access to guns. The problem with guns is not guns. It’s the people and children behind the guns and their neglect or ill intentions. If there were less hate and more of a value for life, there would be less need for gun ownership.

Abortion – I wish that before conservatives rush to judgment about abortion, remember one thing - no woman ever wants to have an abortion for any reason whatsoever. Abortion is never an easy decision. It is costly, painful, and emotionally taxing. Before conservatives judge anyone else’s personal decision over their own body, we have to consider factors such as the quality of the health of the fetus and the mother and the ability to provide a safe quality of life for the baby after birth. We must consider the circumstances in which the child was conceived. (Is the woman pregnant due to rape)? In a perfect world, all babies would be born healthy, and mothers who could not afford to take care of their newborn financially or emotionally could adopt their infant out to a loving home of their own choice and remain involved in their childcare. The reality is that there are not enough people looking to adopt. Adoption is even more challenging for older or disabled children. Many adoptive parents do not want to maintain a relationship with the birth parent, and foster care is a child’s worst nightmare. Many foster children say, “I would have rather not been born then end up in foster care.” Finally, abortions by low-income people are much more dangerous and public than wealthy families who hire private physicians to perform the procedures safely and discreetly. Lastly, how do you support killing living things such as hunting, combat, and the death penalty but say you are pro-life?

Capital Punishment – I do not understand how pro-lifers can be pro-life if they support military killings and Capital Punishment. If life and death should be in the hands of God (as pro-lifers believe), then human beings should not be killing other living things regardless of intentions. Doesn’t that make sense?

Religion - I wish every human being researched their faith before blindly following the practice they were born into from bloodline. I wish theology (world religion) was taught in primary schools so students could choose their religion based on their own interpretations of what is meaningful to them personally. I also wish that if someone claims religious liberty, they have to show active participation in their practice of that religion (such as a membership card based on their attendance of services) to avoid religious liberty excuses used for political reasons. I wish we actually did separate church and state so that freedom of religion was truly valued in America. I wish we could take the fear out of religion, so it was more spiritually based and welcoming versus discriminatory and judgmental. I wish Christians took Jesus’s words seriously, like, “Love one another. Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you. Do unto others, and you wish they would do unto you.” I wish all religions were welcoming to anyone regardless of their personal choices. I wish (many) Christian leaders were not lying for-profit and hypocritical. I wish religious leaders had better boundaries so that abuse would be exposed.

Death – I wish the movement for death with dignity was passed in every state, and if a person over 18 attempts suicide, they are not treated as a psychiatric patient automatically forced into psychiatric treatment. However, if the person attempting suicide truly wants to live and recover, I wish affordable treatment programs were accessible to humans of every demographic and socioeconomic status. Currently, only the wealthy can afford safe and high-quality recovery programs. I wish insurance companies would pay for mental health treatment regardless of imminent danger and pre-authorization qualifications and not monitor patients’ length of stay.

Parenting – I wish parenting classes were mandatory in primary schools for all guardians of students (public or private). I wish every pregnant woman and her partner would be required to attend healthy discipline and character education-based parenting classes to qualify for birthing expenses to be covered by insurance plans before the birth OR, for non-insured parents, the educational program will be provided while in the hospital after the birth of their child. All graduates of the parenting classes will be reimbursed for their time by getting vouchers for their newborn’s college tuition.

Addiction – I wish pharmaceutical companies, physicians, and liquor store owners were held accountable for consumers who become addicted to the chemical they are producing, selling or prescribing, and held liable for rehabilitation and funeral costs if they sell or prescribe to a patient who overdoses or dies on their product. This will cause the vendors of mind-altering substances to pause before prioritizing profit over health. I wish mental health treatment and attachment theory education were part of all addiction-related sentencing, regardless of the ability to pay for the treatment.

Criminal Justice – I wish the people personally affected by a specific crime had an ultimate say in how a trial is run and the sentencing of their perpetrator. I wish drug-related convicts (other than drug dealers) were sentenced to a secure rehabilitation facility, not a jail, for a minimum of a year of addiction and mental health treatment and then mandated to work and live within that same rehab for the remainder of their sentencing. I wish every indicted person were given a psycho-social evaluation prior to their plea. I wish sentencing requirements were based on the severity of the crime and not based on wealthy lawyers spinning the truth to get clients out of trouble, or conversely, disenfranchised populations getting more time because they cannot afford quality legal representation. I wish every jury was represented by a diverse population of jurors, and jury duty was not easy to get out of. In addition, I wish the voir doir process was eliminated because it is biased. I wish every sentencing included a mandatory education program to be attended during the daytime hours while in lock up, (jail or prison), with quality educators and character-education classes built into the curriculum. I wish inmates were incentivized to help other fellow inmates (mentorships) instead of creating alliances and tribal mentalities. I wish all inmates were mandated to perform community service activities in their communities after their daytime education classes are over.

Finally,

Freedom – I wish human beings could accept that we are all human beings regardless of what we look like on the outside or who we love or pray to. I wish that “Liberty and justice for all was a true statement.”