I Hate The World Outside My Home

I've been thinking a lot about the nineties lately. Maybe it's because that was a decade that summarised a pretty happy time where people weren't so strung up on things like they are today. It was a time that I'd give anything to be a small part of again, to be honest. Back when music wasn't the same repetitive bassline cramming up every corner of the radio airwaves. Back when things were simple – and nothing more.

It breaks my heart just to look at the outside world these days. Just opening the curtains can lead to watching the streets burn high with political propaganda and endless warfare between nations. Starving families who can't live off of minimum wage and upper-class snobs who lack the empathy to do anything about it. Pollution destroying both oceans and rainforests. House prices skyrocketing. Employers demanding unlikely criteria. Kids glued to screens and flashing devices. An entire generation synched up to social media like an addiction. Everything – it's all there – right outside our windows. And, you know what? I hate it. I really, honestly, hate it.

So, you could say this is stupid, but I was watching an old American nineties flick the other day. Nothing overly special but it did, however, have a certain aura that made me suddenly pause and stop to cry over how far we've come as a species. But, for all of the wrong reasons. Sure, technology has soared to unbelievable heights and we're on track to become the ideal futuristic planet that our nineties selves once pictured. But then, think of what we've done to reach it.

We're all suffering from anxiety one way or another. Everybody tends to boast about it like it's a fashion statement. But, even screaming it on Facebook to two-hundred people is still a cry for help in itself. And even if we all pretend to be happy in person – chances are we're all desperately struggling to cling on to tomorrow. And can you really blame us? Just take a look out of the window and you'll see.

Australia is burning. The UK is caught up in political madness. The US is on the brink of sparking war with Iran. Oceans are gravelled with recyclables and the sea life is dying. People are struggling to afford the bare essentials and kids are being forced to abandon homes. The world around us is dying and nothing is being done to protect it.

This. This is why I can't face the outside world like I used to. Everything has changed drastically and I fear the future of the earth and where we'll stand in ten years from now. There are, in fact, thousands of other reasons our world is losing its old identity. And as for this new face? I guess I can't say I like the look it's giving me anymore.

Looking back now at the nineties, it breaks my heart. It crushes me mentally knowing I'll never experience the days where mobile phones weren't a thing for kids. Back when internet was barely worth talking about. Back where everyone pursued life like it was hopeful and fresh. But, fast-forward to present day and what do you see? A world in flames – burning under a set of strings gripped by corrupt fists.

I fear for my children's future, to be honest. I worry where they'll be when adulthood comes knocking and the fees for living start trickling up their spines. I worry they won't be able to pay the asking price and are left to fend alone and afraid like seven million other people around the world. I worry about that – and I fear the outside world will be just as petrifying as it is today.

The world is dying. I guess that's the sad truth most of us tend to ignore just to help us sleep at night. But we all know where the world is heading and it truly is horrifying to say the least. But it is happening. It is dying – right outside of our walls.

People are changing. We are changing. Some things advance and other things fall way behind. And while the world progresses to places I dread to see, I, for one, can't help but draw the curtains and hide from the truth of where we're inevitably coursing towards. And that's the way I'll stay.

Truly, I do hate the world outside my home. But, here's hoping one day those curtains can be drawn wide open and a smile can return to my face as the world smiles back. One day, perhaps. One day I want to see the world in a brighter light. I want the days of present to become a thing of the past, and the days of the past to become a thing of the future. That's really all I want.