Calling Moscow - 24

This conversation happened on April 29, 2024, while Trump was on a break from his New York state trial.

"Hello, Vlad?" (hurriedly)

"Yes, Donnie, hello! What's up?"

"I will need an extension from you, Vlad!" (rushed, as if afraid of being interrupted)

"An extension? What extension?"

"For the two billion you said I owe you. Remember, about a month ago you called and said you wanted me to pay you back. Two billion, right?"

"Ah, that! Yes, I remember now. So why an extension?"

"I don't have the money, Vlad. I simply don't have the money."

"And how is that my problem, Donnie?"

"I know it's not, Vlad. But I just have no money. No money, today or tomorrow when you set the deadline for me."

"O-kay. When are you going to have it then?"

"I'll have about half of it when I get the bonus from Truth Social, soon. That will be about one billion, and I'll give it back to you then. I promise."

"How soon, Donnie?"

"They promised me within a week or so."

"Alright, I guess I can wait for a week. How about the second half?"

"That will take a little more time, Vlad. A little more time. You know how they keep prosecuting me, I have no time to make money. No time for anything, if you can imagine."

"Yeah, yeah, I know. So give me a time frame, Donnie, when you can pay me the other half."

"I don't know, Vlad. Honestly, probably only after the election in November. If I become the president again, I'll pay you right away."

"And if you don't?"

"If I don't what?"

"If you don't become president again, Donnie?"

"Then it will take me even longer, but I will pay you back. I'll sell my media company shares then. As it turned out, I can do it only six months after they IPO. Can't do it now. But you know I'm good for it, Vlad. I'll pay you back, I promise."

"Yeah, yeah, you surely will. OK, I guess you get your extension. But if I don't see the first billion within a week or so, I'll know you are not really good for it."

"Thank you, Vlad. I knew you'd understand. You are a good friend, Vlad. A really good friend."

"Yeah, I know, Donnie. Even after all the times you haven't been such a good friend to me."

"What do you mean, Vlad? I've always been a good friend to you! Always!"

"How come then, you did nothing to stop the new package to Ukraine? You assured me that your trusted Mike Johnson would stall it and make sure it never gets approved before your election?"

"That was totally out of my control, Vlad! He got a security briefing from the Five Eyes about your activities all over the world and he had a change of heart. By the way, did you know they call them Five Eyes?"

"Of course I did. I keep my eye on all of them." (chuckles)

"Really? I didn't even know that. I guess the Five Eyes convinced Mike that you were a great threat. He had a change of heart, Vlad, I couldn't do anything about it."

"Is that really a problem, Donnie? Or might it be that you are just so entangled in your courts and trials that you are losing the grip over your own people? You assured me that you had Mike Johnson in your pocket."

"And I did, Vlad, until that security briefing. I guess Mike chose loyalty to the country over loyalty to me. Can you imagine? He is going to regret it, soon, but right now he just did that. It's not my fault, Vlad."

"You know, Donnie, you are becoming more of a liability than a friend for me. That's why I do hope that you'll at least pay me two billion as a moral compensation."

"That's hurtful, Vlad. Really hurtful."

"Truth hurts, Donnie. I just didn't expect the US Congress would approve the package to Ukraine. And then I have more troubles in Europe now, which is so hurtful for me!"

"Oh yeah, what troubles in Europe?" (eager to change the subject)

"My two key spies in Europe have been burnt, and one of them tragically died. Two others have been accused of exploding Czech military warehouses."

"Oh wow, Vlad, I'm sorry to hear that. I didn't know any of this."

"Of course you didn't. How could you, when you are on trial almost every day?"

"Oh, don't even start me on that, Vlad! They are not letting me go to my own hearing at the Supreme Court. Can you imagine? And then they won't even let me attend Barron's graduation! My dear son Barron! He is going to be so disappointed!"

"Yeah, yeah, Donnie, I know. I really have to go now. You have your extension, so get to work! Bye." (hangs up)

Trump, after hanging up, "He's so moody today."

Putin, after hanging up, "He is really testing my patience now. I didn't even want to tell him that the two billion demand was an April Fool's joke. Let him sweat over that. Besides, two billion wouldn't hurt right now, if he really pays up."

The earlier call about $2B is here: