Elon Musk Has A Nazi Problem, Not A Branding Problem

Elon Musk, we need to talk.

I don't things things are really working out the way you thought they would lately.

I mean, apart from when you are cosplaying as the world’s most unsubtle Bond villain.

Case in point, your latest hair-brained thought bubble about rebranding Twitter as X and killing off the blue bird logo. Sure, why not? Even if it sounds like the world’s least imaginatively named porn site, it’s at least a 50/50 proposition that the problem with Twitter is the little blue bird and not, you know, the constant stream of deranged right-wing propaganda that fills my feed every morning.

But hear me out on this. Maybe the real problem is all the Nazis you let– even encourage — to spread hate at 280 characters per manifesto. Let that problem sink in a while.

We have too many Nazis. In America. In 2023.

Wow.

Okay, maybe Nazis is too harsh a term. To be sure, there are way too many of them, and they seem alarmingly drawn to you and your platform, but they aren’t all Nazis. Some are just fascists, racists, violent misogynists, cranks, and conspiracy nuts. Not Nazis per se, but not ideal either.

You sold your overpriced buyout as an attempt to bring free speech back to the platform, and yourself as the messiah of all-sides debate.

“Free speech is the bedrock of a functioning democracy, and Twitter is the digital town square where matters vital to the future of humanity are debated,” you said at the time.

Not exactly turned out the way you planned, huh? Or maybe it’s exactly what you planned. At this point, it really isn’t easy to tell.

How far you personally lean into this junk compared to how much you just love all the attention is beside the point. The real point is that between the launch of Threads and his newly-buff body, Mark Zuckerberg is kicking your ass harder than he would in a cage match.

Worse, people are rooting for him to do it. Self-awareness may not be your strong point, but even you must be a little disturbed that we now think that Zuck — the man who formed a social media empire from a toxic site designed to rate young women and teenage college students on their fuckability — is the good guy here. Although ‘good’ in this context is extremely relative.

But back to your current problems and how you got here.

It started with you paying too much for a dud vehicle. I once bought a 1991 Mercury Capri, so I get you wanting us to let this one slide. And we might have, if you’d just got on with the job of turning Twitter into the people’s digital square you promised. A place for those of all political and philosophical persuasions to present their views in a way that was unfiltered yet moderated by their own innate sense of the social compact.

Why you thought Twitter was the place to do that is anyone’s guess.

Inviting Donald Trump back on the platform was one thing. From one perspective, it made a certain kind of sense. He may well prove to be the worst president in history and an election denier at best and a conspirator at worst, but he was not (yet) charged with any crime and still represented the views of a large part of the country. Had he — and, by extension, his followers — taken you up on the offer, you might not even be in this predicament. I’ve seen the numbers on some of the ridiculous paraphernalia you could have taken a hefty cut from. The MAGA hats alone would have probably had you back in black by now.

You rolled with it and got back to doing the things you do best, like banning journalists you don’t like, removing all links to a rival platform, implying NPR was some Soviet-style government mouthpiece, refusing to pay your bills, and whatever that weird thing with the kitchen sink was.

You know, totally normal free speech, free market stuff.

Not that you seem bothered by any of the blowback to any of this. I’d go so far as to say you love the notoriety. The only thing that really seems to get under your skin seems to be that all this is getting between you and more money. Advertisers are dropping like flies. At last count, Twitter’s advertising revenue was down 59 percent year-on-year. Coca-Cola, General Motors, Volkswagen, Unilever, and Wells Fargo are among those who have bailed on you.

It’s a complicated business, advertising. Maybe it’s just a tough field. Maybe these mega-corporations are just too woke.

Or maybe, just maybe, it’s the Nazis.

GM probably get a kick out of going on Twitter and seeing a Cadillac Silverado gliding majestically along Route 66. A Silverado painted in swastikas, maybe not so much. The Coca-Cola Company probably didn’t have the moment between storming The Capitol and reloading in mind as the pause that refreshes.

The day may come — probably soon — when you have to decide between platforming the worst people in the world and adding to your bank account.

By you own words, it shouldn’t be that hard. You told CNN in May that free speech was more important than profit.

“I’ll say what I want to say and if the consequence of that is losing money, so be it,” you said.

Although you also tweeted that you would “thermonuclear name and shame” companies who stopped buying ad space on Twitter.

So, which is it? What really matters? Money, notoriety, or a functioning democracy?

If money doesn’t matter, then pay the thousands of employees you fired the $500m you owe them. If free speech does, stop banning journalists from your platform.

Elon Musk, until you decide, your troubles aren't over.