A Farewell to Harms

Dear President Tump,

I am writing to you to thank you and wish you all the success that you deserve in your future endeavors. You have helped to make this a greater nation and I mean that with all sincerity. I agree with you on the argument that God wanted you to be president. Everything is part of some grand scheme, even the unpopular things. And on a smaller scale, how better to find out that fire is hot than to burn oneself? I am going to write about a few things that this country would never have truly known about itself had you not been elected to be the leader of this great nation.

First, let’s talk about the economy. I have a vague idea how it works and I believe that is the entire gist of it: belief and speculation. Whatever it is, you said you built the strongest economy of all time, probably since before they even started it, so hoo-rah for you sir! I know you also said that if China never sent their flu over here, the economy would still be breaking records. That’s all that we could talk about at any given time during your term. The economy has carried us through many a hardships. That sucks that nobody could’ve ever guessed something like this new Chinaflu could possibly infect millions and kill hundreds of thousands of people, just in our country. How irresponsible is it to your predecessor that he never warned you or taken steps just in case thereby leaving you to look bad? He should be ashamed for not checking in from time to time to make sure if a global pandemic hit that you’d be totally prepared. I know you said that when you checked on stock piled medical equipment in early 2020 and that the cupboards were bare, I was so angry. He had 3 years to make sure that you were prepared and he failed us, and you, all miserably. I hope Rudy is available when it’s his turn for judgement.

Which brings me to my second point; the quality minds you have surrounded yourself with, despite qualifications. Good for you for making your children and friends all advisors and secretaries! Your offspring has a very interesting future to look forward to so I commend you on such intelligent handpicked relatives and former business CEO’s to run the government. When your Secretary of Treasury took the time to show his incredibly gorgeous wife the federal mint and used it for a photo op, using taxpayers dollars to fund the whole thing? Genius! And speaking of Mnuchin’s wife, am I right? I bet you pulled out you Jus Primae Noctis card to bless that union. I spit in the face of whoever says nepotism isn’t the greatest thing ever. And business is just like government, or so it would seem. If they are good at making money it totally stands to reason that they are totally prepared to meet the needs of almost hal a billion people

Finally, the all time best reason for your God appointed Presidency: race and diversity issues. Had you lost to Hilary the witch, racism, and our recognition that our Constitution was written for white America, would still not be being addressed. We probably would still be blissfully ignoring police brutality, all of those Mexican drug mules and rapists wouldn’t have a wall to keep them out and we may have voted in someone that totally would have been super corrupt and racist. If you didn’t love yourself as much as you do, those thoughts may have crept into your head. Thank goodness for you, sir.

I want to close this letter to you by saying that I love you. We all love you. You’ve made us laugh, you accomplished the most stuff in the history of forever and, most importantly, you showed us that our government and this great experiment has hope after all. You could have easily caused a civil war, (and this is being written in December of 2020, no civil war or concession of the fair election that you unfortunately lost is even being thought of that I know of), but you held your head high and, like the song says, your loving it, I mean, have it your way, no, shit, they are the McDonald’s and Burger King catch phrases. I think I was thinking of Frank Sinatra, you did it you way, but you said it best; you’re fired!

Sincerely,

A concerned citizen