To Be a Military Spouse

Before I met my husband, I was one of the many who thought about joining the military. All the benefits and time traveling while also learning some pretty badass skills were extremely appealing, but I was never convinced that I had what it took to be a soldier; so I never enlisted. Plenty of my friends did though and that was my first taste of military life. I got a feel for the schedules, the time during deployments, and some military jargon. But what didn't hit me was everything the family went through while these people were gone, especially wives and husbands.

When I met my husband, I had seen a few military movies that ripped my heart strings and gave me an unrealistic idea of what being a military spouse meant. The movies made me decide that I could never be a mil spouse because the emotional strength it took was something I didn't believe I had in any part of my body. Then, I saw him.

Maybe this is starting to sound more like a love story rather than an article, but what's wrong with that? After all, love is a big part of life & the strength it gives is quite unparalleled.

At first I was terrified, and I don't mean new-love-terrified. I mean as soon as he said he was a soldier my heart fell. All I could think was "Oh gods. I can't be with this guy! We'll end up like the movies with him gone and me holding a baby all by myself with only his memory!" Honestly, I think the same thing runs through many of our heads when encountered with this kind of love. Some of us end up running for the door without another question, and some don't think it's a big deal.

But something in me whispered "You can do this. Truly." So here we are, six years later and still being asked if we are on our first date when we go to the grocery store. No, I'm not kidding. Apparently we are glowy.

I'm sharing this because if you are a military girlfriend or a mil spouse just going through a hard time trying to figure out if you really are strong enough, let me put your mind at ease. You ARE! All relationships are tough, no exception; but the reason we mil spouses are different is because as the soldier's say, we have the hardest job in the world. We wait, we take care of everything while they are gone, we wait to hear if they are safe, we miss them, we pick ourselves up over and over again until they come home, and then sometimes, we pick them up too.

I never thought at all that I was capable of such a job, but for him, I am strong enough to pick up the world and carry it across the universe. But I always remember this: He may have shown me this incredible strength, but it was within me all along. Every day I wake up knowing that I am married to one of the brave, and every day I am reminded that I am one of the brave too. Be you a mil girlfriend, wife, husband, boyfriend, etc. know that you are strong beyond belief and that it takes one hell of a person to do this job. Keep loving them, and keep loving yourself.

I see you all, and you have someone here who knows what you go through and loves you so much for it. To all the military lovers out there, I salute you.

-Shelbie Fae