Service Repaid

Soo-Jin Quinn paced the waiting room area feverishly as she counted down the time. She looked at the light above the door expecting it to cease its glow at any moment. She knew she still had three more long agonizing minutes until it was her turn, and it was torture.

Soo-Jin Quinn was Captain Soo-Jin Quinn, the first woman to lead a Navy Seal Team. Her father had both been in the British SAS, and her mother was a South Korean analyst for their NIS, or National Intelligence Service. Her parents met when her mother had to brief a joint task force on airline hijackings during the 80’s.

After they married, they were both recruited by the CIA and became U.S. citizens a few years later. They raised Soo-Jin with a strong appreciation of America and the opportunities it offered. She also loved that she could be whomever she wanted to be – and she was.

The light above the door dimmed its glow, the receptionist gestured that she could enter the room. Her anxiety went heightened and she fought hard to control it. She opened and closed her fists a few times and then opened the door to the office.

Peeking in she saw an open, spacious room and an older man making tea by a window. There were three large chairs facing each other and a wall of bookshelves filled with books and mementos. Opposite the tea table was a side table with three piles of little black books.

Soo-Jin entered the room slowly and gently closed the door behind her. The man looked up and gave her one of the warmest smiles she’d ever seen.

“Ah, Ms. Soo-Jin Quinn. Please sit where you feel most comfortable. I am making afternoon tea, today we are having New Moon Darjeeling – the latest flavor from my Tea of the Month box.” He tapped a wood box next to his tea set on the small table. “Would you like a cup?”, he asked. “It can help soothe the soul and calm the spirit.”

“Well, if it can do that, then yes. One cup for here please.” She replied nervously.

Doctor Rubio picked up the transparent tea pot and held it up to the sunlight shining in through the window. “Perfect!”, he said to himself. He poured the tea into two coffee mugs that went from black to white with the heat of the tea. Each revealed the sun with the words, “You’ve brightened my day!” She smiled at the mugs as he brought them over.

She was sitting in an extremely comfortable oversized chair. He offered her one of the mugs of tea and sat in the chair opposite her. He put his tea on a table beside his chair and opened a box that rested on it. Pulling out two packages of cookies he gave her one and closed the box.

She accepted the cookies as she too put her tea on a side table.

Looking up at her he smiled again and said, “Welcome Soo-Jin. Thank you for respecting my process and allowing me to serve you some tea. I trust you will find it quite restorative.”

“Thank you Doctor,” she replied. “And thank you for agreeing to see me so soon.”

“Please, call me Martin. I find formality puts us on unequal footing. And you are here to find some balance in your unbalanced life. Am I right?

“Yes Doc- uh, Martin.” Soo-Jin felt the anxiety build in her chest again with his question. Before answering she too decided to have a sip of the tea. The tea relaxed her instantly, so she took another sip. Soo-Jin put the tea down after a third sip and realized that the heavy restriction of anxiety in her chest was gone.

“Thank you for the tea Martin.” She looked around and organized her thoughts. “So, what brings me here? I ended my final tour about four months ago and three weeks after returning home I started to have nightmares, flashbacks, and anxiety attacks – PTSD I guess.”

Dr. Rubio nodded and asked, “No nightmares prior to this time, even during your tour?”

“No, during my first tour I got really good at compartmentalizing. Anything that happens during a mission was done with as soon as it was over. You learned early to be in the present. It kept you alive.”

Dr. Rubio took a sip of tea and asked, “Tell me about your last tour,” he requested. “Tell me everything from when you left your house that day all the way up to today - in as much detail as you can please.”

She looked at him and checked her watch. “Are you sure doc? That will take some time to do.”

He looked at her and raised his shoulders. “I have all day. How about you?”

“I guess, but fair warning, you may be buying me dinner before I’m done. What about your other patients?”

“My calendar is always free for the full day of the first visit I have with a veteran. As for dinner – I have an app for that. Do you mind if I record this?”, he asked taking out a small recorder.

“As long as it’s kept confidential and safe, you will be hearing some classified stories.”

“Always – so you know, I will very rarely ask any questions. My goal is to just listen and learn so don’t worry about me. Just tell your story and I will be listening, sometimes with my eyes closed to focus on your voice, and sometimes sipping my tea.”

“Okay,” she said taking another deep breath and clearing her head. The exhale complete, she started telling Dr. Rubio her story from the beginning over two years ago, to today.

*******

Four Hours Later

“… and that led me to your door Martin.”, finished Soo-Jin. She picked up some crust left over from the pizza they’d ordered and started chewing on it. She was surprised how much more relaxed she felt. It had been weeks since she felt this calm. Was it the talking or the tea, she wondered?

Dr. Rubio put down his tea, got a bit more comfortable in his chair and pondered for a bit before speaking. “May I ask Ms. Quinn, what interests do you have outside of work? Are there any dreams you’ve not sought from childhood because they seemed silly as you grew up?”

Soo-Jin thought for a moment, not expecting this type of question. After a minute or two a small smile crept across her face as she blushed ever so slightly – almost like she was embarrassed by her thought.

“I grew up wanting to be a fantasy writer – like Lord of the Rings or Star Trek,” she replied. “But as life went on it lost out to my sense of duty.”

“You felt it impossible to reconcile both – to be both. Perhaps illogical? So, you choose one over the other – consciously or subconsciously?” Dr. Rubio asked.

“Yes, I guess.”

“Then I have three things I would like you to do based on what you have told me and what I have observed since your arrival.” He got up from his chair, went over to the table beside his desk that had the piles of little black books on it and retrieved one. He brought it over and handed it to Soo-Jin.

“First,” he said as he sat back down and pulled out a pad and pen from the chairs side pocket, “I am writing the website where you can get the tea. I’m also writing the name of a shaman I know and trust. Go to him, he will help you heal your soul. I deal with the mind.”

Soo-Jin nodded hoping there was more substantive and immediate to her therapy.

“And in the little black notebook, I want you to write the story of your last tour. You are going to take control back and own those memories - reshaping them into something you are proud to have instead of something to be fearful of. You are going to rewrite your tour into a fantasy or sci-fi novel. It’s time for that other side of you to come out.”

Soo-Jin thought it over for a moment. Turning her memories into a fantasy novel. Interesting – but could she write again?

She thanked him and left with an appointment for a month later, some tea, and a little black notebook in hand.

*****

Four weeks later

Sitting in her favorite coffee shop, and place to write, Soo-Jin could not wait to show Doctor Rubio the six black notebooks. Each had been filled with chapters of her story. She’d chosen to re-write her story as an adventure with Goblins, Dwarfs, Medieval Knights, and Sorcerers in a classic good over evil tale. It wouldn’t be a book for children – but it was a book she was becoming quite proud of.

The more she wrote the better she slept. And she suffered less anxiety attacks, too. The tea and her appointment with the shaman had helped as well. Soo-Jin wasn’t sure how she could repay Dr. Martin Rubio for how he had helped her.

Using the paper with the tea and shaman’s info on it as a bookmark Soo-Jin closed a sixth journal she’d bought to continue her story. Looking at the time she realized she would be late for her appointment with Dr. Rubio and rushed to finish her tea. She slid the six books into her bag beside her chair as she pocketed her phone. She got up and left in such a hurry she hadn’t noticed that her last book didn’t make it into the bag - but had slipped down the exterior of the bag and on to the floor. The paper bookmark peeking out of it.

*****

Ninety Minutes Later

Dr. Rubio’s phone rang as he was making the second pot of tea during his session with Soo-Jin. He excused himself and answered it.

“Hello….. yes, yes, that’s right. Why?” Dr. Rubio said facing the window. “Really? Oh, that is interesting. Please tell her I will be right out. Thank you.”

He looked over at Soo-Jin. “There is a woman here to see you. She tracked you down through Shaman Clearwater.” Soo-Jin looked confused and worried. “Nothing to worry about – apparently you dropped one of your books in a coffee shop and she found it. You’re using the paper with Clearwater on it as a bookmark?”, he asked.

“Yes,” replied an embarrassed Soo-Jin. Dr. Rubio opened his office door and a woman walked in and introduced herself.

“Is this yours?”, she asked Soo-Jin handing her the journal. Soo-Jin nodded accepting the book back. “I must apologize. Before I found the bookmark, I had read a chapter of your story and was quite impressed. The detail, the realism mixed with fantasy – your writing is unbelievably good!” She said with excitement in her voice. She handed Soo-Jin her card.

Soo-Jin was offended at the intrusion until she read the card. On It was, Sarah Mitchell, Publisher. She looked up at the woman and Dr. Rubio in shock as Sarah continued speaking.

“I would like to offer you a $20,000 advance to complete the book. And a contract for four more novels. What do you think?”

Soo-Jin was flooded with emotions and just nodded while stumbling back into her chair. Sarah shook with excitement. “Come by my office at three this afternoon, I will have the contract and cheque waiting.”, she said running out the door.

Soo-Jin yelled in celebration, leaped up from the chair, and gave Dr. Rubio a kiss on the cheek. Life was better, a lot better! And it was all thanks to this wonderful man who helped guide her back to herself.

He hugged her back, retrieved some of the freshly made, and then sat down to continue their session - the direction of which had just changed dramatically.