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Military and Marriage

by Jen Carmona 5 years ago in family
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Military Family

The military can be a wonderful thing to be part of even though I’m not in the military I am married to it. My husband and I met before he joined, we both worked at Walmart overnight and the more we got to know each other the more we both starting to fall in love with each other. Working overnight wasn’t a career either one of us, I needed to support kids because my soon to be ex and I were separated and my now husband was working in order to help pay his parents bills. It wasn’t till my divorce was finalized that we went on our first date, there he told me that he has always wanted to be a pilot for the Air Force. His eyes aren’t the greatest so being a pilot is out but he was really passionate about being in the military. Ultimately after quite a few discussions he finally talked to a recruiter and got signed up.

After basic we got married during his time in tech school and it of course was the happiest day of my life. Now when you get married to someone in the military what you don’t realize is that you are also signing you and your family up for the military. I love our country and I feel so much pride in my husband and everything he does as well as everyone in military because soldiers really put their life on the line so that we can live our life in peace . That to me is the most selfless thing anyone can do especially since the military isn’t easy.

Now my military life as a wife is a little different from most because for one we don’t live on base like most families. My husbands base is 2 hours away and he drives back and forth every 4 to 5 days, most days I do feel like a single parent because of my husbands schedule, but I think most wives feel like that especially when their husbands are overseas. Our marriage can be a lonely place because we miss each other so much that it hurts.. I always feel incomplete when he isn’t here and I know it kills him not to be here and missing the important and mundane things of our family everyday lives.

The 4 years that we have been in the military has had its ups and downs. Military is a great community and military spouses are the best because we are all experiencing the same thing so we help each other as often as we can. The one thing about the military that I have learned is that it is military first and family second. We’ve had so many disappointments and lost trips and missed special occasions, thru it all we as a family have stuck together. My husband is always worried thru the disappointments I will divorce him but I assure him that it’s not him that I’m disappointed at it, it’s the military and even than it wouldn’t do me any good to be mad at because we signed up for the military and that’s our responsibility.

Marriage is a work in progress, it will have its ups and downs and great moments and bad but I think more than anything it’s up to me personally to make sure I do my part when my husband is away with the kids and our home so he has nothing to worry about while he is putting his life on the line. When he is home it’s up to both of us to make sure that we work on our relationship which is hard with 4 kids and when we are at the military’s beck and call but I wouldn’t change this life or our life in military because it’s our adventure and I love this ride!!

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Jen Carmona

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