Americans Need to Stop Saying Thank You for Your Service

Photo by Billie Grace Ward

I’ve met, and more importantly, interviewed quite a few soldiers and veterans in my career. As such, I’ve never said, “thank you for your service.” Oh my, I must be some kind of serious asshole. I’m not, I just can’t bring myself to say it, because as I will explain, the words don’t ring true. Of course, I do feel awful for the omission. But do I have a better idea, and even if I lag behind in my own recommendation, I have arrived at a send off that has me grateful for being able to say it with true sincerity

So let’s begin. Ninety-nine percent of us have no real contact with our vets and soldiers. So throwing out thank you’s on designated remembrance days or random interactions is nothing short of disingenuous.

For myself, I feel expressing a hollow gratitude is a worse thing to say in the light of who I am and most of us are. So who are we? We are a vast majority that’s failing to ask a question. “In our community, who are soldiers and vets in need that I can take part in helping?”

Instead, from my estimation, we allay our guilt and inaction with a catch phrase. Am I the only one who sees this? I try to get a read on the face of vets when they receive thanks. Seeing only gratitude, I might just be an asshole.

But while the book’s cover doesn’t necessarily reveal their inner thoughts, the humble and gracious reaction is definitely in keeping with the type of traits I’ve come to revere as a journalist.

The obvious and upfront quality is pretty easy to nail down. We hear about soldiers, and we are blown away by the bravery. They go off into battle and people with weapons are actually trying to kill them. The very idea is incomprehensible to the 99, and meeting a real life hero, the impetus to say thank you is pretty hard to resist.

Having interviewed in the neighborhood of a hundred service members in my career, I’m there too. But my good fortune has allowed me to see a side we don’t get from war movies and our imaginations.

The thing that strikes me is a far cry from the tough macho image we fill our heads with. Soldiers are the embodiment of compassion, empathy and decency, and they talk with an idealism that we’d more normally reserve for priests and poets.

Of course, among the brother and sisterhood that their very being demands, the loyalty they emote has no comparison in the civilian world. So as they speak of their comrades and the families they raise, I know people like me can only dream with envy.

But the public disconnect from military members can best be alleviated via all the companies and employers who are looking for quality workers. Unfortunately, the transition to civilian work life can be a challenge for many vets. I’m sorry, this should not be a thing.

Employers should be making whatever accommodations that are necessary and not just for the benefit of the vets. There is such a uniformed professionalism that any one of my conversations could serve as an interview for each and every vet out there. They are determined, eager to learn and ready to employ the teamwork that has been second nature to their very survival.

Now, there’s a great way to say thank you, and without a doubt, the your welcomes will go far beyond the bottom line. But while I’m hesitating to take my own good advice to get involved, I know what to say in the interim.

Thank you for the opportunity for letting me get to know you and so many others like you. As for the rest of us, who knows, if you ever get the chance to do the same, it will be that much easier to turn their answer into action. Then your thanks will truly be felt, and you’ll feel it too.