20 Per Day

The other day I asked in a Veteran's group on Facebook, "Why do you think so many vets suffer from depression? Even those that did not deploy?" and the response I got was overwhelming.After reading every single comment that was made, I really learned a lot from my fellow Veterans and let me tell you, just a glimpse into their life made me feel like I am not alone. But it also made me feel extremely sad that there are so many of us out there who suffer from this sadness.One person said, "Because you go from being surrounded by and with your best friends 24/7/365 enduring some of the toughest shit imaginable to being thrown out alone into this bullshit world. You miss it. Humans are tribal by nature and when we are in platoon sized groups we are in our element. When you get torn away from that, you suffer."Another commented, "Because you were once a part of a team who valued each other more than themselves, an altruistic group. The depression comes when you realize that you may not ever experience that again."These are both incredibly true. Although I have some amazing friends that I love and hold dear to me, no friendship will ever be like one you had when you were in the military. It is a truly, and completely different lifestyle. A different mentality. And different family. Yeah we might not get along with each other, but we all went through the same shit. It is similar to a blood bond I guess. There are no words to describe the bond you have with people when you are in the military to someone who is not.Some other comments that really spoke to me were, "In my experience working with my fellow vets, I have found that a majority become depressed when they lose that sense of purpose or belonging that they had while serving in the military. We go from being a part of something, having a sense of importance, to being a nobody in the civilian world. Often with no idea of where to go or what to do with ourselves. So we drink, we self medicate, we isolate, and we ultimately tear our selves apart from the inside out.""We leave a life of structure, purpose, and brotherhood and find ourselves in a civilian world filled with chaos, deadend jobs and apathetic people.

I go to work everyday knowing that nothing I do there will ever matter.""'For those who understand, no explanation is necessary; For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.' There was one thing that helped me consistently in my 45 years since ETS: Learn to Volunteer. It gives direction and purpose and focus. My work ultimately benefits others and I can still remain relatively anonymous. I volunteer with many other Vets and we talk. Helps them too....."The suicide rate of Veterans has gone down from 22, to 20 deaths per day since 2012–2014, but that number is still much too high! That's a total of 7,300 Veterans per YEAR!I personally do not think it is the fault of the VA (Veterans Affairs) because I have had absolutely zero issues in seeking help. I mentioned my depression just once (and not even fully) and was immediately referred over to someone who saw me just days later. I was given his cell phone number in case I ever needed him and my meds are shipped directly to me so I do not have to sit there and wait. Sometimes it can be embarrassing picking up anti-depressants or anxiety meds. Basically anything of that nature because for some ungodly reason, mental illnesses are still taboo to talk about!This is also why so many people feel so alone; no one TALKS ABOUT IT! Depression, anxiety, and other invisible illnesses of the mind and body need to be talked about, discussed, studied, and most importantly recognized as an illness. Then, and only then, will we be able to better help those who feel alone.I stand here today, (ok, actually sit here but still) and say to everyone reading this; and especially Veterans, that "YOU ARE NOT ALONE." You might feel that way but I guarantee that if you begin to talk about it even just a little bit, that someone else will be able to relate and you can talk things out. Talking truly helps. If you aren't ready for friends and family to know, that's ok too! There are many online communities out there for you, hotlines, websites and meet up groups. Find the outlet that works best for you but I beg of you to find one. You cannot help yourself until you take that first step. That's all you need to do. Take that first step. I promise that after that, it gets so much easier and you will feel so much better.