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Questionable Drinks to Have on a First Date

Let's face it, we judge our dates' drink choices - especially if they choose these options.

By Ossiana TepfenhartPublished 7 years ago 4 min read
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First impressions are a big deal, and the fact is that they can make or break our ability to find the right person for us. That first date, we're looking at every little detail to see if there are red flags present that could suggest they're unstable, abusive, or taken.

When it comes to dinner dates, we can tell a lot about a person from what they order... especially when it comes to drinks. Though you're technically free to order whatever you want on a first date, these drinks really won't make you look too good to a date looking for a longterm commitment.

Jagerbombs

Ah, yes, Jagerbombs. These are what fratboys and bros order when they want to show people how hardcore they are. They also have a remarkable ability to make people projectile vomit and get people plastered to the point that they turn into trainwrecks.

Ordering a Jagerbomb is a good way to tell people that you aren't a classy individual, that you didn't outgrow your Greek days in college, and that you may be hiding alcoholism rather poorly. Even worse, if you order this and can't handle your liquor, you're basically guaranteeing a post-date pukefest. This, as you can imagine, isn't sexy.

Please, just don't do it.

Pink Punk Cosmos

Pink Punk Cosmos, or any really "hyper girly" drinks are just not a wise idea on date night for a number of reasons. First off, it just doesn't look good. It doesn't matter whether or not you're female.

At best, you will be guzzling an over-sugary, grandiose drink that will end up causing you a horrible hangover. Moreover, super girly drinks tend to be loaded with sugar and alcohol - both of which cause bloating and gas. This isn't attractive.

At worst, you may make your date question your sexuality or make them feel like you see them as "one of the girls" rather than a potential lover. And, if you make the mistake of drinking too many Malibu Bay Breezes, you may also end up getting way too wasted to even try to act sexy.

Overall, the sugar-loaded girly drinks you see on bar menus are best enjoyed among friends who are cool with seeing you when you're not at your sexiest. So, leave them to girls' nights.

Vodka/Tequila/Whiskey Shots

This one should be self-explanatory, but apparently, it's not for everyone. When you decide to order vodka shots during a dinner date, you're making it very clear that you need to be drunk in order to tolerate that person near you. If you aren't saying that, then you're saying that you have a substance abuse problems or that you're trying to get them drunk so you can take advantage of them.

Shots, no matter how you try to justify it, won't look good on a first date. There's no exceptions to this. It's just bad form.

Adult Milkshakes

Adult milkshakes are just regular milkshakes with an alcoholic spike. Now, this isn't bad per se, except for the fact that a typical adult milkshake drink will be almost 1,000 calories in a sitting.

Unfortunately, this doesn't bode well in a society that tends to see people who indulge in desserts and decadent dishes as slobs. Unless you're okay with having a date get worried about you keeping the figure you have, you'll skip this one.

Absinthe

To be fair, Absinthe is a very impressive drink when presented correctly. However, this adventurous green fairy is a date idea that's best left for moments where you feel more comfortable with the person and are sure that they understand that it's not a hallucinogenic cocktail.

It's also smart to wait on this one because Absinthe is incredibly strong and it's about as high-proof as shots of whiskey when taken correctly. Those who are "in the know" will be aware of this... and will wonder why you have to be drunk in order to be in their presence.

Artisanal-Organic-Handmade-Handmixed Mixology Drinks

For lack of a better term, what we're talking about are those "artisan" drinks that are being served up at major upscale bars. These are the drinks that have crazy ingredients, take a million steps to make, and also involve tobacco infusions in their recipes.

Yes, they're delicious.

Yes, they are works of art.

But, the problem with ordering cocktails like this is that the person who orders it tends to come off as extremely snooty, pretentious, and high maintenance. And, these drinks are insanely expensive compared to most other options on the menu.

No one wants to be with a partner that expects to be spoiled rotten for just existing. Unless you want to seem like you have a Disney Prince(ss) Complex, it may be best to choose a more basic drink.

Any Beverage Garnished With An Insect

You may think that ordering a drink that's spiked with a scorpion might make you look daring and adventurous, but in reality, most people who watch you ingest insects will just be too busy struggling to not vomit to notice.

Seriously, this is a move that will make most dates recall their days in the playground with that one weird kid who would eat worms for attention. This will also guarantee that they won't want to kiss you afterwards.

Gross Quantities Of ANY Alcoholic Drink

It's shocking to see, but there are many people out there who will order three, four, or more drinks on a first date... only to be totally shocked when they find out that their date doesn't want to see them again and offers them a number to the local Alcoholics Anonymous meet up line.

If you're ordering more than two drinks on the first date, you may need to slow down. If you order five, it's generally assumed that you've gotten a case of the "whatevers" and stopped caring what your date thought about you in favor of getting totally wasted.

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About the Creator

Ossiana Tepfenhart

Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer based out of New Jersey. This is her work account. She loves gifts and tips, so if you like something, tip her!

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