1. Take Your Foot Off of the Accelerator.
Sitting down to a delicious family dinner can help avoid a conflict like too much beer or wine at the dinner table. Of course, your husband has the final say about how much he will drink, but gently remind him to not have too much, if your family has small children. Remember that one of the golden rules of having a husband who tends to drink too much is that if you tell him to drink less, or complain about his drinking, this can get him angry enough to do the opposite, and drink more.
Keep in mind that often men are just like children. If they feel unloved, or uncared for they will act out with behavior that is unacceptable. So if you have a husband who likes to drink more than he should, accept that fact, and find ways to control it with understanding, and perhaps even good humor. Once he sees you accept the fact that he just has to have his beer, he might drink less, because he does not have to prove anything to you, and he knows that at any time he wants more he can have it.
Of course, it also depends on what your husband enjoys drinking. If he enjoys hard liquor, you’re sure to have bigger problems on hand, but if you are tolerant, you might be able to avoid bad drunken scenes. Once you stop criticizing, yelling, and constantly telling him to stop, you might start having a husband who no longer stresses about what will happen at home, and in turn, might just start drinking less. It is basically the psychology of drinking. Don’t say no, don’t say yes, just let the situation work itself out, and you’ll be better able to see how critical your situation really is.
Always keep in mind that by attempting to control your husband’s drinking you are actually not putting on the breaks, but you’re pressing the accelerator. He gets angrier, and he starts drinking more. Time to take your foot off the accelerator, and take a step back, and take a more critical look at the situation. Once your husband sees that he can come home and relax, and there is no pressure on him, only then can things have a chance to make a turn for the better.
2. Let Him Solve Your Problem Instead of Trying to Solve His.
Once you have accepted the fact that your husband tends to drink too much, or has one too many nights out with the boys, don’t start pressuring him again. Instead, ask him how his night out was, and engage him in some lively conversation about him and his buddies. Turn the situation completely around, and get him to solve some of your problems.
If he comes home late after a night out drinking, and wakes you up, sit up and ask him how he’s feeling. Then, if you cannot go right back to sleep, ask him what he suggests you should do. Now he sees that you’re not complaining that he woke you up, but instead would like to know how you can get back to sleep, once he makes a suggestion give it a try. If his suggestion is not a good choice, tell him why, and ask him for another suggestion. Engaging in conversation this way takes a lot of pressure off of what otherwise might turn into a volatile situation.
As a result, your husband will see that drinking has an impact on you and that then you look toward him to help solve the problems that result from his drinking, and coming home late. In this way you both rely on one another, and this can help keep the situation from getting out of hand. He feels no anger or resentment, and then he is willing to help you out. Remember the element of surprise works well, especially when your husband expects resentment from you, and instead gets a smile and some kindly words.
3. Expect the Best.
When it comes to a situation where your husband is drinking too much, take the time to not expect the very worst. Think of all the good qualities he has, especially when he is not drinking too much, or not drinking at all. Focus on these qualities, and engage him in talking. Once he sees you are no longer angry, and resentful toward him, he will act much better toward you. Opening up the lines to conversation and discussion will help to ease the situation greatly.
Make a positive situation out of a bad situation. Once your husband sees that you expect the best out of him when it comes to making decisions in the household, the more he will open up to you. So once you start accepting him as he is, he might just start holding off on the amount he drinks. It is a fact that husbands drink way too much if they know that they will be going home to angry or resentful wives. So don’t be one, be the wife who greets him with a smile, and wants to know how his day was. Be there for him, and he will be there for you. If the situation is controllable you just might see him hold off on drinking for a while, because the stress has been lifted from him when he is at home.