Young Love with John and Raphael in The Kiss

Raphael’s Point of View

I tried to focus on my homework, I had plenty of time to work on it, but bad things happen when I leave work until the last minute. My baseline high anxiety can become almost debilitating if I’m low on time. My dorm was also empty and quiet. My roommate, and long-term boyfriend, John, was at a party on the first-floor common area of the dorm. I decided to get some coffee at an on-campus café. As I reached the front of the building, I heard the music from the party. Despite my better judgment, I decided to go in for a minute.

I opened the door and looked in. I looked in to see John was kissing this girl. I ran back to our room crying. How could he have done that to me?

I scribbled out my feelings in a poem, leaving it open on his bed, before fishing out my comfort plushie, a worn red dragon that I had since I was little named Flamey. I try not to hold him when my anxiety wasn't too high. My parents keep telling me I’m too old, but I needed him that night. I took him and curled up under my waited blanket, fully dressed as I cried, leaving the lights on, and my homework undone on my desk. I was in the process of crying myself to sleep when I heard the door open.

John's Point of View

I was so pumped to go to my first college party! Raphael didn’t want to go because, well, he’s Raphael, and there would be a lot of people and loud noises. Definitely not his scene, but it was mine! Or I thought it would be.

When I got there, someone handed me a cup of beer. I never had alcohol before. I’m not sure if it was the beer or alcohol itself, but it tasted terrible, so I decided to stick with soda. I still had fun dancing and getting to know everyone there! After a while, I ended up near the door talking to this girl who was a bit drunk. She was being a bit flirty, but I didn’t mind. She then asked if I had a girlfriend and I said no, but before I could say that I had a boyfriend, she said good and pushed her lips against mine. I could practically taste the alcohol in her breath. I was in shock I didn’t know how to react, it felt so wrong to have someone other than Raphael’s lips on mine. I quickly regained my senses and pushed her away. I told her that I had a boyfriend and went to talk to other people. I couldn’t get her out of my head, in a bad way. It wasn't long until I didn’t feel like parting anymore, so I headed back to my room.

I opened the door and saw a Raphael-sized bump in his bed with one of Flamey’s wings peeking out from under his blanket. This can’t be good. As I entered the room, I heard him quietly crying. This is definitely not good. I was really glad I didn’t drink.

“Hey Raphael,” I spoke softly as I approached him. He responded by curling up tighter, not saying anything. This is really, really, really not good. I approached slowly, like I was approaching a scared wounded animal, which I kinda was. “It’s ok Raphael, I’m here now, what's wrong?” I whispered as I sat down on the side of his bed.

“Le-leave me a-alone!” he stuttered between sobs. It hurt me to see him this upset and not knowing how to help him. In all of the time that we’ve been together, no matter how bad things were, he was always able to talk to me and let me hold him and calm him down. Could he have seen what happened with that girl at the party? No, he’d never go to the party it’s too in his words “peoplely.”

“Lo- look on you-our bed, and le-leave me a-alone” he mumbled into Flamey. I looked over and saw his poetry journal laying open on top of my unmade bed. This was good, his poems always tell me exactly what’s going on in his head or at least how he’s feeling. I could use that to figure out the best way to help him. I went over and started to read, his poem of pure emotion on a tear-stained page.

How,

How could you

Do this,

To me?

~

How,

How could you

Do this,

To us?

~

How,

How could you

Do that?

~

How,

How could you

Kiss her like that?

~

Do you

Not care,

About me

Anymore?

~

Has this

Relationship,

Been nothing,

But a joke to you?

~

How,

How many

Others,

Have there been,

When I thought,

That you were,

Just mine?

~

All of

These years,

Where you just

Toying with me?

Toying

With my heart

~

Do you even

Care about me

At all?

I turned to look at him as I let out a sigh, “I guessed you walked in at just the wrong time, it wasn’t what it looked like,” I let out another sigh, I started walking towards him but stopped before I got too close. “I was talking to this girl at the party, I guess she was flirting with me, and I let her, I probably should have stopped her, but I didn’t think she’d do anything but talk. I was wrong. She asked if I had a girlfriend, and when I said no, she kissed me.” I let out another sigh, “I didn’t’ react because I was so surprised by it. People don’t just randomly kiss people, but I guess alcohol does that to people,” I let out a nervous chuckle, “as soon as I came to my senses, I pushed her away and went to talk to other people,” I explained. “You are my one and only Raphael, if I wasn't sure about that before I am now,” he peeked up from his cocoon, eyes red a swollen, “When she kissed me it felt so wrong, the only lips I ever want on mine are yours,” I smiled, a soft genuine smile.

“Really,” he whispered.

“Really babe.” he sat up, pushed the blankets down, and looked at me. I knew that look, he wanted cuddles but, was too anxious to actually ask for them. We’ve been dating for four years, but he was still afraid to say what he wants, that’s Raphael for you. I’ve learned to read what he wants in his eyes and various other movements and gestures that he makes. I happily walked over to him took off my shoes and sat down in the small bed next to him. I wiped away his tears before wrapping my arms around the smaller boy. He curled up on my lap, against my chest. I rubbed his back as I placed kisses on his messy hair. After I have no idea how long, he looked up at me, bringing his face close to mine. This was another one of his “I want to signal,” he was asking for a kiss, which I gave him. His lips just felt right.

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The poem was written by me, I don't have this poem up, as it is very tailored to this story, but I do have quite a few other ones up.

If you like this story or the poem? I have others in this collection, and I have and several different series that I am working on, as well as a poetry collection. I keep a google doc housing summaries of each story and all of the installations and all of my poems that I've posted in an easy to navigate google doc: Click Here

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~~Ben Ray