The Curious Case Of Queer Parenting In India

The Internet defines a parent as someone that begets or brings forth offspring. From birth parents, to foster parents, to single parents to gay parents interestingly for raising kids - they are all in the same boat. As a child's caregiver, all parents have the same problems, same experiences and same love to share. 27 emoticons come in the phone’s keyboard when you type the word “a mother or a father or a parent”. Our virtual graphical world includes no bars in parenting. But the situation is not so sweet in the real world. LGBT parenting refers to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) people bringing up one or more children as parents or foster care parents. This includes children raised by same-sex couples (same-sex parenting), children raised by single LGBT parents, and children raised by an opposite-sex couple where at least one partner is LGBT. Though LGBT people can become parents through adoption, foster care, donor insemination, reciprocal IVF, and surrogacy. But unfortunately, even today LGBT parents struggle to get equal respect in society. Where 48% of LGBT women are raising a child in the United States, the inclusiveness in states of India looks like a long-lost road.

According to the Pew Research Center, as of October 2019, about 30 countries of the world had passed laws allowing same-sex marriages. Most of these are in Europe, North America and South America, and only one — Taiwan — is in Asia. As for same-sex adoption, it is so far legal in around 40 countries. In the United States according to estimates from the 2019 Current Population Survey Annual Social and Economic Supplement (CPS ASEC); more than a million gay partners are living together. Also, according to LGBTQ demographics expert Gary Gates, there are between 2 million and 3.7 million children with at least one LGBTQ parent in the U.S., and approximately 200,000 of these children are being raised by same-sex couples. Several recent studies have found these kids are as cheerful and active as children raised by heterosexual parents.

Today in India as per Section 377 same-sex relations between consenting adults is not a crime. But how many queer parents do we come across at adoption centres, parent-teacher meetings or having dinners with their children in the restaurants? Also, the discrimination against LGBT Parents in India is not even a part of public conversations.

The Central Adoption Resource Authority (CARA) clearly details that they require a parent to be physically, mentally and emotionally stable, financially capable and not have a life-threatening medical condition. Also, the prospective age difference between the child and the parent or either parent should not be less than twenty-five years. But sadly none of the conditions of the adoption talks about LGBTQ parents. Even according to the Surrogacy (Regulation) Bill approved by the Union Cabinet in February 2020, commercial surrogacy is completely banned, and altruistic surrogacy is allowed only for Indian married couples, Indian origin married couples and Indian single women who are widowed or divorced. This bill also completely excludes live-in couples, most single parents and the LGBTQ+ community.

Even today, most laws and rights that fall in the domain of family law in India, including those related to adoption, surrogacy, succession, guardianship and so on, require legal marriage certificates. And since the decision-makers had always excluded the LGBTQ+ community from the right to marriage, access to all these other laws has been compromised.

The pride movement that started with decriminalising Section 377 needs to give LGBT parents the respect they deserve otherwise, the Pride movement shall always remain as a battle half won. According to UNICEF, as of 2018, India is home to approximately 30 million orphans and abandoned children. As these children struggle to find their homes, many LGBT Couples are waiting to start their families.

The subject of parenting is being talked about across the internet like never before. It’s time when we should also put efforts into welcoming all families with the love and respect they deserve. This PRIDE MONTH many of us had pledged to be there for each other. It's time that we break stereotypes and move ahead in our parenting virtues. The rainbow families are as beautiful as any other family. Kids need parents, regardless of their gender - two moms, two dads, a mom and dad, one mom, one dad - all these things don’t matter as long as someone is there to love and take care of the child.