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Sherlock Holmes never fell in love.

Asexuality, Sherlock Holmes, and this sex-obsessed world

By Katie woodsPublished 2 years ago Updated 2 years ago 6 min read
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Sherlock Holmes never fell in love.
Photo by Klim Musalimov on Unsplash

Before we get started, I’d like to note that Sherlock Holmes is the most frequently adapted fictional character in history. With version upon version, retelling after retelling, potential sequels, extra characters, secret sisters, extraterrestrial and modern day adaptations…...if you can think it up, someone has probably created a Sherlock Holmes reboot to match. And that’s not even touching on the hundreds of characters inspired by or directly based off of this famous detective. So, for the purpose of this piece, I thought it was best to add a disclaimer: These are my opinions. I’m talking about Sherlock Holmes the immortal detective, how I think he was intended to be interpreted, and the themes I see. I’m aware not every retelling fits my interpretation, but I hold the belief that the vast majority of them do.

We live in a world obsessed with sex. They say sex sells, but that could just be one way of looking at the fact that that every major franchise, advertising strategy and product ever, has found a way to sexualize some part of it’s message. Everything that can be sold, has been attached at some point to sexual desire or imagery, Valentine’s day is the most simultaneously hated and glorified western holiday, and the English language is littered with watered-down sexual innuendo.

If it’s not sex, it’s a relationship of which sex is presumed to be a part. Our increasingly isolated society places romantic relationships on a pedestal, claiming the only way to be happy is to find The One. This comes in tandem with the confusing message that the only way to avoid depression and dying alone is settling for any romantic partner at all and learning to love them. Friends are great but there isn’t a billion dollar industry for platonic love songs. Adopting is brave, because it’s assumed to be a last resort for those incapable of propagating their own DNA. The cynical, complex, independent character with a defined worldview, needs to throw away their principles and fall in love in the last third of the movie in order to have a happy ending. We’re all expected to be searching for a partner, looking for a better one, working to make ourselves more romantically viable.….OR happy. It’s impossible to leave the house or turn on the internet without being practically assaulted with the notion that the only way to be not miserable, is to fall in romantic love, have sex, be a person.

That’s how it can feel to be Asexual.

It feels like blooming late. Watching your friends get crushes, and picking someone’s name to whisper because information is currency and you’re suddenly broke. And hey if you had to marry someone….that’s what a crush is right?

It feels like growing up and putting off, ‘that relationship stuff.’ It feels like shipping budding romances…..until the characters start kissing. Playing out mashing mouths with those people you pretended to like in middle school to try and wrap your head around the appeal, while considering switching up the face in this unsettling daydream because it’s been like five years now and your friends think you must be in love with him.

That sounds so much better than the truth. In love, you're in love and will never take another. You know you’re in love with slime molds and sleeping in, your art, the words you can write on paper, the way tea smells and really really rainy days. But sure, in love.

You know you’re jealous when your friends make new friends, and your favorite teacher compliments another kid’s essay, and your best friend goes on….dates. And then you realize they’re going to get married. Everyone you know is destined to find someone they love more than you, and you don’t think you're allowed to ask them to please not do that.

I know it can feel big and scary and like the wheels are spinning off. Like we’re in a dark water slide plummeting towards something we can’t make out clearly or visualize yet, and we really hope that thing isn’t loneliness, depression, isolation, the realization that we were wrong and everyone feels like this and eventually just settles and bites the bullet and we’re just being close-minded just need to meet a person who’s different….We feel defined by what we lack.

And sometimes I just have to take a deep breath, close my eyes, and remind myself that Sherlock Holmes never fell in love.

I can hear the outcry as I type. I can hear the voices welling in the distance, telling me that I’m wrong, saying what about (fill in the blank)?! Because you think that it is horrible. Because we all keep talking and filling up the space and saying words because our minds are trained to pattern recognize, and yours are trained to match people together into romantic pairs. Because silence gives the notion space, and sometimes when we sit alone in space, we find out what we really want. And sometimes it's nothing.

So before you say anything, take a breath. Tell me, was Sherlock Holmes lonely?

Sherlock Holmes isn’t a story that ends. It’s tales, it’s fanfiction, it’s crowd-sourced reality, it’s legend. And throughout this century old never-ending story, Sherlock does not need romance.

Sherlock Holmes does not lack adventure, purpose, or even love. Sherlock Holmes is an asexual aspiration.…I mean aside from his excessive drug usage.

He lives with his best friend, solves crimes, listens to strangers' stories and does chemistry experiments. Sherlock disappears for three years and travels the world assuming various identities. Watson gets married, and still gets drug along often enough for an entire book of adventures, and then, after his wife dies, he moves right back to 221b baker street.

When I was little, I didn’t just.....not have crushes like other people. I dreamt about the future, and I saw myself alone. Not in a bad way, my metaphor-forming mind just came up with thousands of circumstances in which I’d be better off on my own.

I was going to be the hero. I was invisible, invincible, immortal and untouchable. I was going to disappear, live five different lives and reappear just in time to save my friends.

The only dreams in which I wasn’t alone, someone else was just….there. Following me around, in the words of Abed Nadir from Community, wandering the universe doing whatever we want.

This place we live in told me I needed to find someone not like that. It told me to fall in love. And so, I set out to make myself lovable.

I spilled a lot of stuff over the side in the process, and found not much of myself left over when I was done.

I think instead of defining ourselves by the millions of things we know we fell in love with as children, we let the world define us as a blank door, because of the one key our hearts don’t have a slot for.

We say we need representation, and of course we do. We want people to tell our stories, and we want to be told them over and over and over again till we’re absolutely sure that it’s gonna be okay. We want people to tell new stories and use our words, be as clear as possible, leave no room for error, but we’re not listening to the ones that are already here.

Sherlock Holmes said he was asexual, he used his own words but so did worlds of people before him. The water slide is still dark, and I can’t see what’s in front of me, but I’ve seen other people go down it before me.....and I really do think it’s gonna be okay.

Oh, and music industry? Platonic love songs are ridiculously underrated.

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About the Creator

Katie woods

Katie is a slime mold hunter that likes to watch people and write stories. She's been autistic every since receiving a radioactive vaccine as a child.

That was a joke. She is joking.

That's how she got superpowers.

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