(not) what you want me to be

I am the kid trans and cis folks don’t want to deal with

I have changed my name at least eight times, and each one is/is not correct

Transition then de-transition then transition again

I am the point at which "switching" is incomprehensible,

a position in which I am/am not sexed

I am purposely hard to read as is this prose,

I am night-time LED screens’

Red-eyed hairy-lipped identity-making political meme-machine victim

I am what the YouTube comments read on the TRANS-TRENDER clickbait

what the doctors want what the report to say,

what the TSA guesses,

what you want me to be, that is,

if and only if you want me to be,

if not impossible

I am the one you that didn’t want to see die on Trans Day of Remembrance

(I abject, therefore I am not)

I am one and at once still here I am still here I am still here I am still here I am