Living my true self may cause problems

Dear mama,

Two things that I always taught by you was to tell the truth and to be myself but what happens when that could cause a problem for everyone involved? I know that sounds a little weird, but you'll understand by the end of the next paragraph. There's something that I've known for a while but never felt comfortable telling you.

The thing is, I'm bisexual. I've also had one romantic relationship with a woman. Remember my "friend" Jean, I was dating her. I didn't want to tell you because I didn't know how you would react. I was afraid of being kicked out of the house and other issues that usually happens with coming out to parents and other family. I didn't think you would hurt me, but I thought it would be better if I just kept it to myself. I almost came out last year but then all our tragedy happened. I didn't think you needed that too.

I know this may or not be a shock. I never know which people can tell that I'm bi and which can't tell. I tried to present myself as straight. It's not that I was ashamed or embarrassed, I just didn't know how you would react. I know after this letter you will have lots of questions possibly and I promise to answer them as best as I can.

One question I always get is how do I know that I'm Bi. Well, I think I've always been attracted to women but never realized on what level. I also knew that I wasn't a lesbian. It wasn't until I was dating Jean that I really knew who and what I was. I didn't date another woman because I couldn't find a woman I wanted to date plus if I was to date a woman and just call her a friend I would run out of lies and excuses of what happened to them if we choose to break up. It is way easier to find men to date then it is to find a woman.

I also didn't want to come out because I didn't want you to keep my secrets with the family. I know they act like they are ok with the LGBT community, but I really don't think that they are really comfortable or ok with it. I know you would be ok with not telling them if it meant that they wouldn't cause drama or talk shit. Plus, if I ended up dating a woman what would I call her to the people I don't come out to.

Some people in this world are still not kind to the LGBT community. This causes people like me not to want to come out to some people. It's difficult to know who you can be your true self around.

I know what you may be asking, is she sure? Yes, I'm sure. Being bisexual isn't something I'm doing to be trendy or to fit in. It's also not a phase. I'm not saying that I'm bi to eventually just come out as gay.

I do one want to go to pride and find my place in the community. I also want to be more involved in the community in Georgia. All of this would be easier if I'm out to you. That's why I wrote this letter.

I'll be here to answer any questions for you. I know you will have a few. Please don't be angry or judgmental about this. This was really hard to tell you. Thanks for reading this maybe slightly rambling letter.