Kit Connor Deserved Better

For the last few years, there’s been the debate of whether only LGBTQ characters should be played by actors who identify as such — this is a debate I have steered clear from as a writer, because I believe that an actor’s sexual preference or gender identity does not determine their acting ability or talent. Many LGBTQ actors have played heterosexual roles, the same can be said for straight actors playing a homosexual character, sometimes an actor happens to identify with their character’s sexual preference and sometimes actors are cast without their sexuality being a plot point at all.

The whole point of acting is the art or occupation of performing fictional roles in plays, films, or television. Who you date in your personal life or who you choose to be in a relationship with should not be considered a main factor in that craft. Which is why many actors choose to keep their personal lives out of the spotlight, which is absolutely their right.

Unfortunately, not everyone thinks this way and some individuals cannot separate the art from the artist. Actors these days find themselves pressured to either confirm or announce a rather intimate, complicated and personal aspect of their lives through social media. Whether an actor is straight or LGBTQ is none of anyone’s business, especially when the actor in question has chosen to keep that part of their life separate from their career.

Star of Heartstoppers and His Dark Materials, Kit Connor had chosen to do just that. Although he has played characters that identify as bisexual or gay in past and recent projects, he remained adamant he didn’t want to discuss his own sexuality - which is understandable and his right as he is only eighteen. However, as the hit Netflix show gained notoriety, many viewers demanded to know why he hadn’t confirmed his identity yet.

Despite showing much love and support for his LGBTQ cast mates, there were claims circulating social media that Connor was “queer baiting” viewers of the show. This speculation quickly turned nasty and saw the actor remove himself from Twitter because of it.

Yet it appeared these cruel accusations had continued, because on Halloween night Kit Connor returned to Twitter to confirm he was bisexual, a tweet which clearly stated he felt forced to do so.

This was heartbreaking and infuriating to read, because this should not have had to happen. Kit — or any person for that matter — should feel empowered and safe to come out. It is a process that takes time and no one is on a schedule or deadline. Kit was perfectly within his right to go through his whole career without divulging whether he was in a romantic relationship with a man or a woman, but instead he was pressured to make it public knowledge.

An eighteen year old’s sexuality should not be demanded to be known — no one is entitled to that knowledge or has a right to it other than the individual and whoever they choose to tell. There is an issue with celebrities and their lives away from the spotlight these days, many fans of a show or film franchise have difficulty in separating the art from the artist.

Now, I would like to clarify from my experience of the Heartstopper fandom that the vast majority of them are respectful and supportive of the cast and crew — many of them supporting the actors as they pursue other projects. However, this incident with the other spectrum of the fandom which forced a lead actor to “out” himself when he clearly wasn’t ready highlights a larger issue at hand.

Because we have the world of information at our fingertips on our phones, many individuals think they are entitled to every bit of information about a franchise they love. They’re not.

Love for a show does not grant permission to every aspect of an actor’s life. We hear phrases like “Be Kind” thrown around, but rarely does that translate into actual empathy or compassion.

Thankfully, Kit’s coming out has been met with nothing but empathy and compassion. It was just a shame that he felt he had to do it because of a social media mob.

One would hope this would make people consider what they type in the future, because the art and the artist should be equally respected in this day and age.