I'm Panromantic Asexual

There is a lot of discussion around the LGBTQIA+ community.

L = Lesbian

G = Gay

B = Bisexual, Bi-Gender

T = Transgender

Q = Queer, Questioning

I = Intersex

A = Asexual, Aromantic

+ = Other Identities that overlap with or fall between the other letters.

"Queer", while originally a slur, is currently often used as an umbrella term for someone who doesnt want to go into detail, or is still working out exactly what their identity is. "Questioning" covers those who are pretty sure they aren't as Straight as originally assumed, and are trying to find out more before choosing a label that suits them.

A lot of the letters also have sub-catagories, or identities that fall under their general umbrella. Much like an actual rainbow, LGBTQ+ Identtities are a vast spectrum sorted into broad catagories.

A lot of the discussion around "LGBT Issues" centres around whether or not LGBTQ+ people are humans deserving of equal rights.

Side Note: This is why the separation of Church and State is so important.

Setting aside the fact that it’s an obvious question with an even more obvious answer, I’ll cut off further fighting with the statement that LGBTQ+ Rights are Human Rights, and anyone who disagrees should probably unfollow me now. There will be NO TERF rhetoric on this page, thank you.

Another common question is, paraphrased: “What do all those labels even mean?”

That’s the question that I’ll be focused on tonight. What do all the lables mean, and how they can be liberating and limiting at the same time.

A person's Orientation can be split into two parts: Romantic and Sexual.

(Gender Identity is another topic that deserves it's own article, but it's also a subject that I'm less familiar and educated about, so I won't be dwelling on it much here)

In LGBTQ+ circles, there is what is referred to as the "Invisible Triangle": Bi, Pan and A-spec. The joke is that most people don't believe we exist, or lump us in with other identities. It's not really that funny.

So, let's start with some terminiology and definitions.

Panromantic/Pansexual

Commonly confused with Bisexual ("attraction to all genders") Pan- describes a person who experiences attraction regardless of gender. To phrase it differently, gender is less of a consideration when finding someone attractive than common interests, personality, or other physical or non-physical traits would be.

Aromantic/Asexual/A-spectrum

From the Greek prefix A-, meaning a negative, A-Specturm is actually a broader umbrella term encompassing Aro/Ace, Demi- and Grey-A.

Aro/Ace individuals will feel no attraction, Demi individuals will feel attraction only after a prolonged emotional bond has formed (and sometimes not even then), and Grey-A individiuals will feel attraction only rarely, or only under certain very specific circumstances.

(NOTE: While some Asexuals are happy to live and die without ever having sex, lack of sexual attraction does not automatically equal lack of a sex drive. Some Asexual individuals enjoy sex, some don't, and some have no strong feelings either way.)

On a personal level, I might be open to trying it someday, with the right partner, purely to see what all the fuss is about. I don't feel like I'm missing out in the meantime, and if I die a virgin, I'll be fine with that, too. I'll read and sometimes write smutty fanfiction if there's enough plot to keep me interested, but I don't actively seek it out.

I did do a dramatic reading of 50 Shades of Grey, once, but that was because my flight made an emergency landing at screw-this-something in the a.m., and 300 people had been crammed into a single gate lounge and told to wait without water, food or blankets until the airport opened in four hours, when they'd open a conference room to wait in for the next 18 hours, since every hotel in a 20km radius was booked out (Hawai'i, New Year's Eve/Day).

One of the people I was seated near had bought a copy at the airport bookshop, instantly hated it, and after tearing the book apart for a bit, we gathered some other grumpy, sleep-deprived passengers, and made ourselves impossible for the gate staff to ignore.

Suddenly, they became very helpful in re-booking us onto other flights leaving when the airport opened...

Each person is diferent, and will experience attraction in different ways. My experiences are not representative of any other Pan-Ace, or vice versa. Nor should they be.

For me, Panromantic Asexual means that I fall in love with people with whom I share passions and interests, but I have exactly zero desire to do anything about that attraction beyond cuddles, emotional intimacy, and perhaps a cheek-kiss or two.

Fortunately, my Beloved is a Demiromantic Asexual with even less desire for the physical than me. It works out well.

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