And So We Laugh.

Hi nice to meet

You.

We just got married.

“Do you use a dildo?”

Why? Do you fuck your missus

Up the ass?

What response

Do you want?

What reply

Would feed your

Masculinity?

Make your dick feel

Big and strong.

Valid.

What response

Would make us invisible –

Less

Us in this crowd

Of toxic

Maleness

we’ve had rammed

Down our throats

Our whole lives -

Like a blow job

We never asked

For

but got

Anyway.

Because you could.

Because you

Can.

Because you

did.

Looming over us -

Intimidating by design.

Predictable.

Where are you from?

America –

Your toxic

Tension

Menacing

Like the static

Of electric

Before it hits.

A punch to the face?

A kick in the stomach –

For what –

Not falling

For

Your charm.

Prince?

Why are you here?

I married the love of my life

Which one of you fucks the other?

This is what I hear

Excuse me?

This is your chance to not say that again

“Which one of you uses the dildo?”

Fuck off

Find someone else –

To man off to.

You’re laughing but this isn’t cute

We’re laughing for another purpose.

It isn’t cute.

“I just have to say what comes to mind”

I just have to sit silently

I know your type

We both do.

Violence before thought

A fist to the face

When you’re challenged

Your mates won’t stop you

They might be sheep now

When it comes to it

They’ll stoop to your level

Standing over us

With beer foam on your beard

And unfocused eyes

Slurring the words

That should be

Inside thoughts

If thoughts at all.

“You missed out on that one”

It’s dripping with sarcasm

As we walk through the door

Back home

Away from

This stupidity

This stupidity, with an undertow of hate

Bemoaning the boyhoods

That have turned out these men

Into this sinister thing

That haunts us.

You think we laughed

At your “jokes”

That was actually

Us bargaining for our lives

You see

Being queer and being in female bodies

We are always bargaining for our lives

And so

We laugh.