Weed

Weed…

Pot….

Reefer….

Marijuana, the gateway drug…..

Whatever the fuck you want to call it…

I call her my sweet “Mary Jane” and I love her.

Smoking weed is not for everyone! (Ha, ha -believe me!) I have many stories that can collaborate with this statement. It’s just not meant for everyone, It’s a fact. Some people smoke weed their whole lives as normal as brushing their teeth (like me for example). Others, can take one single puff and it mentally paralyze them for hours, (sometimes days),ruining their experience for life.

The day I met Mary, we had a connection. She entered my mouth so smoothly and elegant, filling my lungs to capacity with her sweet embrace. A warmth climbed up my spine as I held her captive inside of me. I underestimated Mary, and her power. She burst her way free from my mouth and both my nostrils; However, Mary is not selfish.

No, my Sweet MJ wraps her arms around my body and holds me in her safe space.

Our safe space.

We spin through the air together and break free from the sound of the world. We meet at no space, no time, no matter and we find each other waiting patiently.

Pain doesn't exist.

Life doesn't exist.

Weed is my safe space. My blend into this chaotic overdrive of tormented souls that have been cursed since birth.

Everybody does something! Don’t beat yourself up. We can’t be perfect, but our battles have to be selected with precision. My tantalizing smokescreen that blocks reality for me is MARY.

However, this safe space became invaded rather quickly. Many abusive substances have bullied Mary out of my life. They killed her and demolished our space.

Heroin, the monster of madness, is definitely one of those abusers. Mary and I had a beautiful life together. Everyday we woke up enjoying one another’s company. Morning coffee rituals mixed with bagels and bongs rips, she complimented me. She loved me and helped me cope with things. My sweet Mary never filled my mind or thoughts with darkness. I envied her green and beautiful nature.

Heroin {H},on-the-other-hand, is a fucking destroyer! An absolute beast that devours anything in front of him. He’s like acid in the veins and corrosion in the brain. He’s a jealous lover, abusive, with murdering intent. His tactics are simple: Kill, Steal, and Destroy. {H} will laugh while you lay motionless in a bathroom floor gasping for every breath to live. He looks up at you from the depth of your soul, grinning, reminding you who the fuck he is! Because you knew better. Heroin demolished any chance I had for survival. The concoction to kill the masses and I willingly….. “drank the tea”.

I know everyone has heard the story about the man that brought home the injured snake and nursed it back to health.

Well,…… when the snake fully healed, he bit the man that saved him.

The man looked at him and screamed: “Heyyyyy, why the HELL you’d bite me?”…..

The snake then looked up at the man and replied, as he was slithering out the door:……. “You knew I was a snake when you brought me home!!”.

That’s how I feel about Heroin.

When you are about to use {H}, for the first time or not, you are fully aware of the snake you’re inviting into your home. When, I will not say IF, he bites you and you start to feel your soul leaving your body, you can’t fucking ask….. “Why did you bite me?”.

You know why.

I knew why, and that’s why I was dying.

He hated me.

He always did.

I invited him in my home and I knew he was a snake. I opened the doors of my home to a dragon of death.

Please don’t think that Heroin is too special, because he’s not. Like I mentioned above, “many abusive substances”, have bullied their way into my life.

I was friends with Cocaine for a few years, but that was very one sided. She is the BITCH of all Friends. You want to talk about thirsty ass attitude? She will irritate the blood right out your nose. Her “needy” game is top fucking level and out-of-control. Literally! Fighting off her seduces is like strapping an engine to your heart while she bleeds you dry. Yet, YOU WANT HER! A constant supply of her candy. She rots your teeth and bloody your nose. Her smell constricts your throat and tightens your chest, yet you still want more! Chest pains, migraines, blood stains, and you still crave her. Her hands are cold and numb.

She tried to freeze my heart, forever, but I could not let her.

Don’t forget all the Pills. The prescription for everything and nothing. The aches and pain you gain from “their” relief. The lack of sleep. The worst gang you’ve ever seen, because it’s never just ONE that crushed your dreams. The Doctor pads, pill mills, and pharmacies working hand-in-hand to medicate the nation and dumb down the land. A broken knee, a wreck, and 1 surgery later the doctors all loved me…..

They ALL could save me….

“Take this for this”….

“and that for that”….

But when you’re lying at home with-drawling on a mat…

“Don’t fucking worry”…,it’s only aside effect

“I’ll up your dose so you won’t feel that”…...

Many different abusers came and went. They ran Mary off when she was the only place I ever needed to be. Weed can do many things, it’s 2021, and weed is practically legal everywhere. Practically. Judgement is only passed on those who pass judgement, so trust me, I do not judge anyone. I am only here to share the depth and weave that weed and I have created over 30 years of “bonging”.

First friendships…

Silly french kiss….

After school laughs…..

Daddy, bustin my ass….

Resturant blunts…..

People doing silly stunts….

First Apartment bong…..

Lip-syncing every song…..

Kiddo is down for a nap….

Grab my little sack…..

Twist up a joint….. enjoy the scent….

Rushing through the memories….

Mary Jane and I have spent……