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Puff Puff Pass

God I miss having money for weed

By Mae McCreeryPublished 3 years ago 3 min read
2
Puff Puff Pass
Photo by Wesley Gibbs on Unsplash

I'm not a stoner but I miss smoking a bowl while watching Rick and Morty.

I started smoking a couple years ago. My dad whom I was very close with died unexpectedly and I have an autoimmune condition that caused extreme muscle pain and fatigue specifically on my back and hands. As an artist, by trade and passion, so not being able to use my hands to do anything because I was in so much pain was destroying what was left of my soul.

I must've gone through seven different medications by three different doctors that I spent four years paying off. None helped with the condition or the pain. When I was desperate I used a steroid cream but it thinned my skin and made the pain worse in the end.

I was desperate. I was tired of all the appointments and tests and biopsies. I just wanted the pain to go away. I would've sold what was left of my soul for just an hour of relief.

Do you have any idea what that would be like? To not only be not able to use your hands because every time you touch something, it feels like a hundred needles piercing your palms till they hit the bone, and on top of that the muscles on your back spasm and cause sharp piercing pain along your spine. Everything was difficult.

Every day.

For 14 months and 22 days, the pain never ceased. It would lessen sometimes, enough for me to function but the pain was always there. When it did lessen, it was only long enough for me to sleep for a bit or work.

Every pain medication I was prescribed didn't work. The doctors refused to give me any strong dosage because my condition wasn't determined to be a good enough reason to justify anything stronger than tylenol. From steroids to ibuprofen, what they gave me didn't help me enough.

Until my best friend and I went to a dispensary to get some dabs for her and I decided to buy a bowl.

I was in so much pain, I figured what the hell?

I pot a couple grams of Alaskan Thunderf*ck and they even gave me a glass bowl and taught me how to light it.

I went home that night and light it up.

Within a half hour, my pain was a dull ache. Very dull.

With an hour, I could breathe without wanting to cry. I could pick up my paint brushes without feeling like my hands were in tiny iron maidens.

Relief.

Sweet and utter relief.

My mother cried when she found me painting because she knew how unhappy I was and how much pain I was in. She was just happy to see me not in pain.

Thank you Gods of Weed.

And thank you in particular to Alaskan Thunderf*ck, I've never found a strain I loved more and I've tried a few. I even got my hands on a couple of ounces of Pineapple Express, which yes I smoked while I watched the movie. Yes, its waaaay better to watch any Seth Rogen movie while under the influence.

Moving on.

My condition cleared up about two years ago and I haven't really smoked since. I had COVID last year and I'm not too keen on smoking to begin with. I do enjoy the gummies though.

Sometimes when my condition does flare up, and it's rare nowadays, I'll bite the head off a gummy bear and be fine within the hour.

I do miss laying back on the couch in a hoodie and watching Rick and Morty while smoking a bowl and raiding a pack of Oreos. The literal image of a stoner with free time.

I didn't even smoke it every day, hell I barely did it once a week. I only smoked when the pain was at its peak. When I couldn't stand it any longer, I'd light up and puff my stiiizy.

I never became addicted, unless you want to count me becoming addicted to not feeling pain every second of the day. My ex did become addicted. When I started smoking, so did he, and he went full balls to the walls on it. He smoked practically every day and he would get angry when somebody would mention his usage.

I smoked because I was in crippling pain.

He smoked because he was bored.

There's a reason he's an Ex. Good lord, men exhaust me to no damn end.

So, the next time you see someone puffing away on some sweet kush, leave them the f*ck alone. Maybe it is purely recreational for them or maybe its the only f*cking relief they're going to get.

Puff puff pass, people.

marijuana minute
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About the Creator

Mae McCreery

I’m a 29 year old female that is going through a quarter life crisis. When my dream of Journalism was killed, I thought I was over writing forever. Turns out, I still have a lot to say.

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