Front Porch Smoke Sessions

by Sophie Marie 2 years ago in humor

Purple Haze

Front Porch Smoke Sessions

I always thought smoking m.j. would be like smoking a ciggie, but with 'higher' benefits. It wasn't until half a year ago, when I began dating one hell of a man, that I actually considered smoking. It started with my sister, in the driveway, at the trunk of her car. The strain was called purple haze. Rolling a small joint, it took only one to two hits for me to be in my own kind of haze.

First, my lungs basically seized. I was a coughing mess, nearly pissing myself in the process. Then the typical hunger washed over me, and all I could think about were cookies. This led to me thinking up an alter ego for high hungry self. And so, Fat Patricia was introduced. Never touch her food, but always give her food when she gives you that look. You know, that look, you'll know when you see it.

Smoking didn't start out on the porch of course. It started at the trunk of the car, late at night. It immediately moved to the porch, however, after one night, due to it being rainy and dark. Standing out there after watching a horror movie, hitting the bowl, I heard the strangest sound, as if some animal coughed! Of course, I cursed out loud and took off running. I left my sister behind, but she soon followed, both of us completely shaken and confused. After that, I finally tried my first blunt with my former boyfriend. I'm not sure what strain it was but damn, did I trip. I was low-key freaking out, but hey, I still got laid that night.

All this happened within a span of a few weeks. We made the purple haze last. Every time we smoked it on the porch, we'd play Prince's Purple Rain and boy, it really set some relaxing vibes. Afterwards, whenever we were able to smoke, we'd sit on the porch, and watch funny videos, mostly involving animals and cursing birds. And that is how our front porch smoke sessions began, and it's blossomed into a great ritual that we make time for. And we're just...happier.

We've definitely invited a lot of friends over the course of these few months to smoke with us. We've definitely had a lot of laughs, and I mean, a LOT. We'd be so stoned we'd say something cliche or dirty and instantly bust out into a fit of laughter.

One time, my sister decided to fry some eggs. She pulled out a pan, called my name and said "Who am I?" while standing defensively, pan in hand. I replied with "You're Rapunzel." She replied with a no and told me she was, and I quote, "That chick from the Tangled movie"... Ohh boy. I lost it. I was in tears, laughing so hard, knees to the floor, unable to b r e a t h e. All the while, a good friend of mine sat on the couch, staring at us, completely confused by what happened. It took him awhile to figure out why we were laughing so hard.

There were other smoke sessions as well, where we would hear noises or someone would interrupt us, scaring us shitless. I have to say though, our most recent friend that smokes with us has by far been the best. Not only is she snarky, sassy and badass, she's hilarious. Her laugh however, is contagiously golden. We smoke, get smart with each other and say some weird shit, and we laugh. If it's something that really makes her laugh, she starts to snort, and trust me, we all laugh hard enough to snort. It's the best kind of laugh and just makes us laugh even harder.

Now, I'd go into more detail about what goes on during our sessions, but honestly, for the life of me, I can't remember. Our recent smoke session, however, involved my sister and I, talking about boys, and our sexapades. For us talking with people we sometimes don't even know that well, we aren't too afraid to talk about the dirty, funny or crazy shit we do or have done. And our main question we ask each other is "Are you high yet?" and most of the time, it's rhetorical because we'll say some shit or ask a question that no sober person could really think of so vividly.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm sure there are people, friends, or family that definitely don't approve of our sessions, but it brings us closer, and makes us happier, sometimes even sleepy enough to actually sleep through the night. Basically, what I'm saying is we don't give a shit if they disapprove. We make sure to respectfully keep our sessions out of their way. And no matter what, we'll always stay Shaggy and have a good laugh.

Sophie Marie
Sophie Marie
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Sophie Marie

I'm a cosmetologist, college student, and lover of cats, animals in general. Marvel, action, horror, sci-fi. tumblr. wattpad. tv shows and what not. Please don't be afraid to ask any questions. c;

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