DMT: My First Cosmic Ride
If you've ever wondered what a heroic hit of DMT is like, look no further =)
Being a stoner with a love for edibles, I enjoyed having my thoughts, ideas and concepts challenged and redefined. Before my trip I already had a working concept of “Oneness”. The idea that we are all the universe experiencing itself through itself resonated within my core in ways I couldn’t possibly fathom. Never having taken any psychedelics, I honestly had no expectations but I was hoping that it could shed some light on my current situation. Or at least allow me to see it from a completely different perspective. I was going through a difficult time in my life and I was seeking to experience something paradigm shifting.
It was my 29th birthday and everything I thought my life was seemed to be going to shit. Unmotivated and lethargic about life, my homie knew what was going on and decided to give me the best present I could have asked for. He picked me up and we headed to a small park near the beach. Not the best location due to the foot traffic and cars that never seemed to stop, but it was the best location on short notice.
We arrived at the park and I thought I would take a hit inside the car. My homie quickly shot down the idea as he knew what was to come. He is an experienced cosmic surfer and has also gone through ayahuasca retreats with Amazonian shamans. Needless to say, he was my guide and anchor for this trip and I thank the universe that he was there. You’ll find out soon why.
We looked around for the best location and settled beneath one of the biggest trees at the park. He gave me a few tips similar to what I mentioned in my other article, DMT: A Ride Through the Cosmos - A guide to taking DMT, and prepared the holy bowl. He handed me the bong and said. “Take a fat rip, hold it in and then exhale.” Seemed simple enough. I took the bong and got ready. He lit it up and I took the fattest rip I have ever taken in my life. I still remember his face when I cleared the bong, it was a “DAAAAAAMN!” face. That didn’t particularly scare me, but it did make me wonder if I had done too much. I held it in for 3-5 seconds and when he said exhale, I exhaled.
Nothing happened at first. I thought to myself, “This ain’t sh…………….” and yea, mid sentence it began. My vision spiraled into darkness with a “eeeeooooooop” sound and it felt like I began to fall upwards into a dark tunnel at the speed of light. My first thought was “HOLY FUCKING SHIT WHAT HAVE I DONE”. My body had faded away, there was nothing. Pitch fucking black with 5 tones playing over and over again from high to low. Then I saw the first entity. It was a warped version of a cartoonish witch face with a pointy orange nose and a monocle with a white and black checkerboard spiral behind him.. It was as if it was saying “I see you. What are you doing here. You don’t belong here. I will trap you here forever.” I can’t say he was in front of my face, since there was no face to be in front of, but there was nothing else but him.
Fight or flight must have kicked in at the moment because my desire to escape from this being was all I could feel. No chance, even if i did want to run, there was no body to run with. I was stuck. Colors, shapes and patterns started to appear and disappear. Writings in languages I had never seen. And then it hit me. Realities started appearing. Not just mine, everyones. Imagine your life on a tv screen. Now imagine all realities of everyone that’s on this planet all at the same time. I started going through other people’s realities a billion frames a second. Although it was mostly a blur, I felt myself change from one perspective to the other. Not really able to hold on to anything, just instantly experiencing all of our collective realities. This doesn’t sound too bad, but when you are becoming and leaving what seems to be an infinite number of people it can be overwhelming. Thinking about it now, it’s as if I became a photon particle and experienced all the realities that this one particle is helping create.
This is probably when my breath started stabilizing because instead of seeing the collective reality I saw my reality. My current reality. I saw myself, sitting beneath that tree in a meditative pose on screens affixed to an ever expanding double helix. It was as if every millisecond was captured and stored. My own akashic records that the universe was recording. It was amazing and mindblowing.The universe is watching, and it doesn’t care what you do, but it does remember.
From there I was transported to a realm of blue fractals. It was peaceful and loving. A bliss of sorts. It is there I heard a voice call out to me and say “This is life. Enjoy it.” Then the unexpected happened. My face, or what I felt was my face, was recreated amidst the fractals and a hand came out and placed something on my tongue. I instinctively swallowed and BOOM! A flash of colors, shapes and patterns whizzed by as I was transported to yet another realm. Yes… the gods gave me drugs. Yes, it was awesome.
This one was different. There were no colors or shapes. Just a red road that I was on. This road led to another entity. It was a large white man dressed in a white suit with a white top hat. He looked like a hybrid between The Penguin and the KFC Colonel, monocle and all. This one was not as terrifying as the first face I saw, but there was a weird vibe. I didn’t like this guy at all. I remember me feeling disgust and thinking “Nah, fuck this guy.” That’s when I was pulled backwards and saw him fade from my vision.
The last realm I was taken too was a world of red and orange mists. There was a giant Morgan looking entity, sexy vampire with green hair, with a neon green double helix in the background that had nucleotide like doorways with numbers. As I marveled at the mesmerizing scene she “spoke” to me and said, “It’s your call.” As soon as I heard that my subconscious seemed to understand what she meant, for I was propelled through one of those neon green nucleotides and then it was pitch white. An all encompassing white light surrounded me in every direction and as quickly as I left my body I was thrust right back into it. You would think that would be the end of my experience. But you would be wrong.
The first thing I did back in my body was gasp for air. It was as if I was taking my first breath of life, again. I opened my eyes and realized that reality was not all there yet. It was as if someone had reset my reality program and it was slowly rebooting. I saw reality tuning in and fluctuating. Everything was there but not quite fixed. It was slowly building itself back up again, like a 3D imaging rendition. Creating and overlaying reality one layer at a time. But that wasn’t what was going through my mind at the moment, I came out extremely terrified by how intense the experience was.
I felt that as my reality was resetting I would get lost and tune into the wrong frequency. I realized then and there that those who we think are crazy, are really not. They are simply tuned into a different frequency of reality. One that is unbeknown to us, but 100% real for them. I did not want that to happen to me. I did not want to become just another bum talking to imaginary beings on the street.
So I made my friend sit close to me and talk to me. I needed someone to help me tune back into this reality. While he was talking I was afraid that everything would start to melt again so I started emptying my pockets, threw my beanie aside, took off my sandals and grounded myself to this Earth. It was at this exact moment time that my first experience of time displacement occurred. I clearly remember tossing my beanie aside but in my mind that thought arose again and I saw/felt myself go for the beanie yet again. My memory of what happened 5 seconds before was as clear and vivid as what was happening in the now. Time seemed to be an illusion. A consequence of energy moving through this reality and not something that defines existence.
Every time I blinked I could feel myself being dragged back into the DMT state, and after such an intense experience I had no desire to go back. I even went so far as to say “I don’t want to do this again. I don’t want to do psychedelics..” This feeling has obviously faded away as I am now more intrigued than ever when it comes to psychedelics and shamanistic rituals. My homie realized that I was going down a spiral of doubt and brought me back to center by telling me one of the most insightful things I have ever heard, “Breath is life.” He told me to close my eyes and breathe. I listened to these wise words and closed my eyes, settled my wandering mind and inhaled. Air had never felt so alive. Every breath I took lit up what seemed to be a blueish nervous system of light. Every exhale that light dimmed just a little. The center of this cluster I felt was quite literally where the 3rd chakra is said to be. In between the ribcage and the bellybutton.
It was around this time where I also came up with one of the most mind boggling questions to date, “What is real?” Because really my friends, what is real? How do we define real? After having an experience beyond the five senses, the simple logical five sense perception of reality seemed extremely lacking in perspective.
As my trip started to wind down I seemed to have accessed other psychedelic experiences. I started to see more defined patterns atop this reality, similar to shrooms. One distinct pattern that I saw connect all organic beings was a circle with a triangle inside that then expanded to three other circles with triangles. This was on the grass, the trees and even on my homie. My idea now is that these were chakras I was seeing. Cars and other man made objects did not have this pattern, only organic beings were connected this way.
I also saw for a seconds an interweaving network of light that connected my hands. This I felt was the state of an alchemist. A state in which you could quite literally manifest objects out of thin air. I didn’t have a chance to test this theory because it only lasted a few seconds, but that was more than enough for me internalize the experience and realize that I am the creator of my reality.
As my vision started to stabilize and the hallucinogenic effects started to wear off I just sat there in awe. All the problems I had before were still there, but now they seemed fucking meaningless. I mean, what is a failed start-up compared to the vastness and immensity of existence itself. This is something that I still carry with me to this day.
I have since then stopped trying to rush any process. Stopped trying to take shortcuts. Started being more aware of where my energy and focus is going. It even jump started my spiritual side once again. Something I had left on the backburner for nearly five years. I can honestly say DMT changed my life for the better and I hope to in the future ride the cosmic wave once again. I also wish to help be an anchor and guide for those who wish to experience their own truth.
So if you are curious about DMT and wish to partake, please read my Guide on Your Trip Through The Cosmos post to make sure you have a safe and amazing trip.
Thank you for taking the time to read my wild story and I wish you luck and lots of lessons on your journey. Have an amazing life…….